Hye partner

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[Store] Sport Gloves Vice FN, Karambit #853 FT, Karambit #387 BS, M9 #601 FT, 4x Reason Holo ST MW AK-47 Redline, 4x LDLC Holo Icarus Fell, 3x TT Holo Glock Waterelemental, Kara Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Black Pearl, more Doppler Gems, Katos, Guns and Gloves

2020.09.13 17:56 1337smoke [Store] Sport Gloves Vice FN, Karambit #853 FT, Karambit #387 BS, M9 #601 FT, 4x Reason Holo ST MW AK-47 Redline, 4x LDLC Holo Icarus Fell, 3x TT Holo Glock Waterelemental, Kara Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Black Pearl, more Doppler Gems, Katos, Guns and Gloves

Everything tradeable unless stated otherwise
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Karambit Case Hardened FT 0.28 #853 "Sara Haire" God tier blue gem Click $27000
Karambit Case Hardened BS 0.79 #387 P1 Click $13500
M9 Case Hardened FT 0.35 #601 "Oceano" non duped Click $11100
ST Butterfly Sapphire FN 0.01 Click $7700
Karambit Emerald FN 0.01 small dink only visible in one special lighting, looks flawless everywhere else Click $6550
Karambit Sapphire FN 0.002 1080p pixel corner Click $6400
Talon Ruby FN 0.0002 #2 lowest on float.db Click $5125
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.010 #722, fade pattern + great Corner Click $4975
Karambit Ruby FN 0.006 BTA Corner Click $4850
M9 Ruby FN 0.004 Click $4700
Butterfly Crimson Web FN 0.063 1 web playside, tradeable on the 15th Click $3625
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.07 Big web, BTA Corner Click $3275
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.008 Click $2140
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.0700 #1 float mw, decent Corner & web on tip Click $1625
Flip Emerald FN 0.06 Click $1700
Bayonet Marble Fade FN 0.03 2nd Max F&I Click $1130
Butterfly Fade MW 0.07 98% Fade, tradeable on the 14th Click $870
Karambit Doppler P4 FN 0.026 BTA Blue & Corner Click $640
Butterfly Vanilla 0.38 Click $455
M9 Doppler P4 FN 0.03 BTA Blue Click $390
Bayonet Crimson Web MW 0.10 1 web playside Click $370
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
ST AK-47 Redline MW 0.10 4x Reason Holo Kato 14, red stripes on Mag Click $24250
ST Glock Water Elemental FN 0.0002 3x Titan Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $18500
AK-47 Black Laminate FN 0.065 4x Titan Holo Kato 2014 Click $16400
ST AK-47 Fuel Injector FN 0.003 4x HR Holo Kato 14 Click $13500
M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN 0.01 4x LDLC Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $12800
AK-47 Hydroponic FN 0.003 4x VP Holo Kato 14 Click $11400
ST AWP Asiimov BS 0.99993 #2 highest Float ST AWP Asiimov, CM Holo on Scope Click Click $7400
AWP Dragon Lore MW 0.08 Dig Holo on Scope Click $6400
AWP Graphite FN 0.03 4x Clan Mystik Holo Kato 14 Click Click $5975
Desert Eagle Blaze FN 0.01 LDLC Holo above grip, 1/1 with this placement according to float.db Click $2125
ST SCAR-20 Bloodsport FN 0.004 4x Reason non holo Katowice 2014 Click Click $2000
Glock Twilight Galaxy FN 0.006 Dig Holo above handle, 1/1 according to exchange Click Click $1325
AWP Asiimov FT 0.25 NIP, HR & Navi Holo Kato 14 Click $970
Famas Pulse FN 0.05 Vox & 3DMax Holo Kato 14 Click $300
Five Seven Candy Apple MW 0.08 Complexity Holo above Grip, LGB Holo on Grip Click Click $155
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
AWP Dragon Lore FN 0.006 Click $6175
ST M4A4 Howl FT 0.16 Click $4125
ST M4A4 The Emperor FN 0.06 Click $385
ST AK-47 Neon Rider FN 0.05 4x Furia Holo Click $340
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Sport Gloves Vice FN 0.061 #5 lowest on float.db Click $23500
Driver Gloves Kingsnake MW 0.08 clean Knuckles Click $7120
Sport Gloves Pandoras Box MW 0.09 Click $6975
Moto Gloves Spearmint MW 0.072 Click $6400
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.09 BTA Knuckles Click $6275
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.11 decent knuckles Click $3775
Sport Gloves Superconductor MW 0.09 Click $2020
Specialist Gloves Fade MW 0.12 Click $1300
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.15 Click $510
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.27 Click $335
My Profile
Send a Tradeoffer
submitted by 1337smoke to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]

2020.09.13 14:46 masbond84 Premiere Week: "SF8: White Crow", "Mr. Heart" & "Homemade Love Story"

MBC' SF8: White Crow
Viki' Mr. Heart
KBS2' Homemade Love Story
submitted by masbond84 to KDRAMA [link] [comments]

2020.09.12 01:04 1337smoke [Store] Sport Gloves Vice FN, Karambit #853 FT, Karambit #387 BS, M9 #601 FT, 4x Reason Holo ST MW AK-47 Redline, 4x LDLC Holo Icarus Fell, 3x TT Holo Glock Waterelemental, Kara Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Black Pearl, more Doppler Gems, Katos, Guns and Gloves

Everything tradeable unless stated otherwise
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Karambit Case Hardened FT 0.28 #853 "Sara Haire" God tier blue gem Click $27000
Karambit Case Hardened BS 0.79 #387 P1 Click $13900
M9 Case Hardened FT 0.35 #601 "Oceano" non duped Click $12500
ST Butterfly Sapphire FN 0.01 Click $7700
Karambit Emerald FN 0.01 small dink only visible in one special lighting, looks flawless everywhere else Click $6700
Karambit Sapphire FN 0.002 1080p pixel corner Click $6700
Talon Ruby FN 0.0002 #2 lowest on float.db Click $5270
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.010 #722, fade pattern + great Corner Click $5270
Karambit Ruby FN 0.006 BTA Corner Click $4975
M9 Ruby FN 0.004 Click $4850
Butterfly Crimson Web FN 0.063 1 web playside, tradeable on the 15th Click $3650
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.07 Big web, BTA Corner Click $3425
Talon Ruby FN 0.008 Click $3075
Bayonet Sapphire FN 0.014 Click $3075
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.008 Click $2640
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.0700 #1 float mw, decent Corner & web on tip Click $1700
Flip Emerald FN 0.06 tradeable on the 13th Click $1625
Bayonet Marble Fade FN 0.03 2nd Max F&I Click $1140
Butterfly Fade MW 0.07 98% Fade, tradeable on the 14th Click $870
Karambit Doppler P4 FN 0.026 BTA Blue & Corner, tradeable on the 13th Click $640
Butterfly Vanilla 0.38, tradeable on the 13th Click $450
M9 Doppler P4 FN 0.03 BTA Blue, tradeable on the 13th Click $395
Bayonet Crimson Web MW 0.10 1 web playside Click $385
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
ST AK-47 Redline MW 0.10 4x Reason Holo Kato 14, red stripes on Mag Click $24200
ST Glock Water Elemental FN 0.0002 3x Titan Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $20000
AK-47 Black Laminate FN 0.065 4x Titan Holo Kato 2014 Click $17000
M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN 0.01 4x LDLC Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $14250
ST AK-47 Fuel Injector FN 0.003 4x HR Holo Kato 14 Click $13900
AK-47 Hydroponic FN 0.003 4x VP Holo Kato 14 Click $11975
ST AWP Asiimov BS 0.99993 #2 highest Float ST AWP Asiimov, CM Holo on Scope Click Click $7400
AWP Dragon Lore MW 0.08 Dig Holo on Scope Click $6550
AWP Graphite FN 0.03 4x Clan Mystik Holo Kato 14 Click Click $6125
Desert Eagle Blaze FN 0.01 LDLC Holo above grip, 1/1 with this placement according to float.db Click $2200
ST SCAR-20 Bloodsport FN 0.004 4x Reason non holo Katowice 2014 Click Click $2065
Glock Twilight Galaxy FN 0.006 Dig Holo above handle, 1/1 according to exchange Click Click $1350
AWP Asiimov FT 0.25 NIP, HR & Navi Holo Kato 14 Click $980
Famas Pulse FN 0.05 Vox & 3DMax Holo Kato 14 Click $315
Five Seven Candy Apple MW 0.08 Complexity Holo above Grip, LGB Holo on Grip Click Click $160
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
AWP Dragon Lore FN 0.006 Click $6200
ST M4A4 Howl FT 0.16 Click $4175
ST M4A4 The Emperor FN 0.06 Click $400
ST AK-47 Neon Rider FN 0.05 4x Furia Holo Click $340
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Sport Gloves Vice FN 0.061 #5 lowest on float.db Click $25000
Sport Gloves Pandoras Box MW 0.09 Click $7120
Driver Gloves Kingsnake MW 0.08 clean Knuckles Click $7120
Moto Gloves Spearmint MW 0.072 Click $6700
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.09 BTA Knuckles Click $6400
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.11 decent knuckles Click $3850
Sport Gloves Superconductor MW 0.09 Click $2020
Specialist Gloves Fade MW 0.12 Click $1325
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.15 Click $520
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.27 Click $335
My Profile
Send a Tradeoffer
submitted by 1337smoke to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]

2020.09.10 00:03 1337smoke [Store] Sport Gloves Vice FN, Karambit #853 FT, Karambit #387 BS, M9 #601 FT, 4x Reason Holo ST MW AK-47 Redline, 4x LDLC Holo Icarus Fell, 3x TT Holo Glock Waterelemental, Kara Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Black Pearl, more Doppler Gems, Katos, Guns and Gloves

Everything tradeable unless stated otherwise
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Karambit Case Hardened FT 0.28 #853 "Sara Haire" God tier blue gem Click $27000
Karambit Case Hardened BS 0.79 #387 P1 Click $13900
M9 Case Hardened FT 0.35 #601 "Oceano" non duped Click $12500
ST Butterfly Sapphire FN 0.01 Click $7700
Karambit Emerald FN 0.01 small dink only visible in one special lighting, looks flawless everywhere else Click $6700
Karambit Sapphire FN 0.002 1080p pixel corner Click $6700
Talon Ruby FN 0.0002 #2 lowest on float.db Click $5270
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.010 #722, fade pattern + great Corner Click $5270
Karambit Ruby FN 0.006 BTA Corner Click $4975
M9 Ruby FN 0.004 Click $4850
Butterfly Crimson Web FN 0.063 1 web playside, tradeable on the 15th Click $3650
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.07 Big web, BTA Corner Click $3425
Talon Ruby FN 0.008 Click $3075
Bayonet Sapphire FN 0.014 Click $3075
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.008 Click $2640
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.0700 #1 float mw, decent Corner & web on tip Click $1700
Flip Emerald FN 0.06 tradeable on the 13th Click $1625
Bayonet Marble Fade FN 0.03 2nd Max F&I Click $1140
Butterfly Fade FN 0.01 98% Fade Click $960
Butterfly Fade MW 0.07 98% Fade, tradeable on the 14th Click $870
Karambit Doppler P4 FN 0.026 BTA Blue & Corner, tradeable on the 13th Click $640
Butterfly Vanilla 0.38, tradeable on the 13th Click $450
M9 Doppler P4 FN 0.03 BTA Blue, tradeable on the 13th Click $395
Bayonet Crimson Web MW 0.10 1 web playside Click $385
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
ST AK-47 Redline MW 0.10 4x Reason Holo Kato 14, red stripes on Mag Click $24200
ST Glock Water Elemental FN 0.0002 3x Titan Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $20000
AK-47 Black Laminate FN 0.065 4x Titan Holo Kato 2014 Click $17000
M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN 0.01 4x LDLC Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $14250
ST AK-47 Fuel Injector FN 0.003 4x HR Holo Kato 14 Click $13900
AK-47 Hydroponic FN 0.003 4x VP Holo Kato 14 Click $11975
ST AWP Asiimov BS 0.99993 #2 highest Float ST AWP Asiimov, CM Holo on Scope Click Click $7400
AWP Dragon Lore MW 0.08 Dig Holo on Scope Click $6550
AWP Graphite FN 0.03 4x Clan Mystik Holo Kato 14 Click Click $6125
Desert Eagle Blaze FN 0.01 LDLC Holo above grip, 1/1 with this placement according to float.db Click $2200
ST SCAR-20 Bloodsport FN 0.004 4x Reason non holo Katowice 2014 Click Click $2065
Glock Twilight Galaxy FN 0.006 Dig Holo above handle, 1/1 according to exchange Click Click $1350
AWP Asiimov FT 0.25 NIP, HR & Navi Holo Kato 14 Click $980
Famas Pulse FN 0.05 Vox & 3DMax Holo Kato 14 Click $315
Five Seven Candy Apple MW 0.08 Complexity Holo above Grip, LGB Holo on Grip Click Click $160
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
AWP Dragon Lore FN 0.006 Click $6200
ST M4A4 Howl FT 0.16 Click $4175
ST M4A4 The Emperor FN 0.06 Click $400
ST AK-47 Neon Rider FN 0.05 4x Furia Holo Click $340
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Sport Gloves Vice FN 0.061 #5 lowest on float.db Click $25000
Sport Gloves Pandoras Box MW 0.09 Click $7120
Driver Gloves Kingsnake MW 0.08 clean Knuckles Click $7120
Moto Gloves Spearmint MW 0.072 Click $6700
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.09 BTA Knuckles Click $6400
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.11 decent knuckles Click $3850
Sport Gloves Superconductor MW 0.09 Click $2020
Specialist Gloves Fade MW 0.12 Click $1325
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.15 Click $520
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.27 Click $335
My Profile
Send a Tradeoffer
submitted by 1337smoke to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]

2020.09.09 06:29 Bjkdie The History of AJPW: The 90s Part 1

The 90s! Kings Road! Genichiro Tenryu left at the beginning of 1990 with most of his Revolution stable to form his own promotion, Super World of Sports (SWS). This left a gaping hole in All Japan’s main event scene, and Baba had some work to do. With nothing left but an aging but still game Jumbo and gaijin Stan Hansen as draws, Baba built up Mitsuharu Misawa, the former second Tiger Mask. Coming up right behind him were Toshiaki Kawada, Akira Taue, and Kenta Kobashi, all promising young talent, who along with the new number one gaijin Steve Williams, would carry All Japan through the decade.

Singles Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Mitsuharu Misawa
June 8th, 1990 - AJPW Super Power Series 1990 Day 19
There is literally nothing left to say about this match. Watch it.

Triple Crown Title #1 Contendership Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Mitsuharu Misawa
September 1st, 1990 - AJPW Summer Action Series II 1990 Day 12
The rematch and in my opinion even better than the first. One thing I think that doesn’t get talked about enough when talking about this feud is that Jumbo really puts over how dangerous Misawa’s elbow is. It built the foundation for what made the elbow a believable finisher.

Tag Team Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Toshiaki Kawada
September 30th, 1990 - AJPW October Giant Series 1990 Day 2
Classic All Japan tag. Taue recently defected from Misawa’s Super Generation Army to join Tsuruta-gun.

Six Man Tag Team Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta, Akira Taue & Masanobu Fuchi vs. Mitsuharu Misawa, Toshiaki Kawada & Kenta Kobashi
October 19th, 1990 - AJPW October Giant Series 1990 Day 16
Super Generation Army faces off against Tsuruta-gun in a fantastic six man that feels like a war. Fuchi just tortures poor baby-Kobashi.

Real World Tag League 1990 Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Toshiaki Kawada
December 7th, 1990 - AJPW Real World Tag League 1990 Day 18
Misawa and Kawada have arrived and want to make that statement clear by taking down Jumbo and Taue, the team they had a time-limit draw with back in September.

Singles Match:
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Akira Taue
January 15th, 1991 - AJPW New Year Giant Series 1991 Day 11
Misawa’s general, Kawada continues his blood-feud with Jumbo’s new right hand man Taue.

Six Man Tag Team Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta, Akira Taue & Masanobu Fuchi vs. Mitsuharu Misawa, Toshiaki Kawada & Kenta Kobashi
April 20th, 1991 - AJPW Fan Appreciation Day
The rematch from October. Misawa and company have firmly settled in their roles and display it perfectly here. Misawa as the unbeatable ace, Kawada as the kickass angry person, and Kobashi as the fiery but inexperienced babyface.

Triple Crown Title Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada
October 24th, 1991 - AJPW October Giant Series 1991 Day 22
Kawada’s first ever title shot. Dangerous K up until this point has been firmly established as Misawa’s number two man, but can he emerge from Misawa’s shadow and beat Jumbo for the world title?

Real World Tag League 1991 Finals for the vacant AJPW World Tag Team Titles:
Mitsuharu Misawa & Toshiaki Kawada vs. Steve Williams & Terry Gordy
December 6th, 1991 - AJPW Real World Tag League 1991 Day 17
Misawa and Kawada won their first major titles back in July when they defeated the Miracle Violence Connection (Williams & Gordy) for the tag titles and this would be the rematch as both teams made it to the Tag League Finals.

Six Man Tag Team Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta, Akira Taue & Masanobu Fuchi vs. Mitsuharu Misawa, Toshiaki Kawada & Kenta Kobashi
May 22nd, 1992 - AJPW Super Power Series 1992 Day 6
The last iteration of this six man formula and just as great, if not better.

All Asia Tag Team Title Match:
The Can-Am Express (Dan Kroffat & Doug Furnas) (c) vs. Kenta Kobashi & Tsuyoshi Kikuchi
May 25th, 1992 - AJPW Super Power Series 1992 Day 8
All time classic tag team match. Kenta Kobashi and Tsuyoshi Kikuchi challenge for the All Asia Tag titles (mid-card tag belts) in Kikuchi’s hometown and he truly shines as the classic face-in-peril against the Can-Ams, who play their role well as the villainous gaijin who beat the stuffing out of him.

AJPW World Tag Team Title Match:
Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue (c) vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi
June 5th, 1992 - AJPW Super Power Series 1992 Day 18
This would be Jumbo’s last big time main event in Budokan due to health issues and is also Kobashi’s first time main eventing, so I guess this could be considered the ending of the Misawa-Jumbo Army feud?

Triple Crown Title Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada
October 21st, 1992 - AJPW October Giant Series 1992 Day 17
Misawa finally won the big one in August, when he defeated Stan Hansen in an okay match, and his first defense is against none other than his tag partner Kawada. You would think this would be two friends having a competitive bout but no Kawada goes for the kill at the very start, and Misawa has to fight from under in another great one.

Singles Match:
Stan Hansen vs. Toshiaki Kawada
February 28th, 1993 - AJPW Excite Series 1993 Day 7
Two badasses beat the piss out of each other, and they both kick REALLY hard.

Champion Carnival 1993 Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Toshiaki Kawada
March 27th, 1993 - AJPW Champion Carnival 1993 Day 3
Misawa and Kawada were on the outs since they dropped the tag belts back to Steve Williams & Terry Gordy, and Kawada wanted to split. This is the first match they have after the split and Kawada is out to prove he is on Misawa’s level.

AJPW World Tag Team Title Match:
Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue (c) vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi
June 1st, 1993 - AJPW Super Power Series 1993 Day 15
Shaking hands after a draw in the Champion Carnival against each other, Kawada and Taue would form the Holy Demon Army and win the tag titles almost immediately defeating Williams & Gordy and establishing themselves as main event level threats. This would be their first defense and Giant Baba would call this the best match he had ever seen. This really cemented these four as the four pillars.

Six Man Tag Team Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa, Kenta Kobashi & Jun Akiyama vs. Toshiaki Kawada, Akira Taue & Yoshinari Ogawa
July 2nd, 1993 - AJPW Summer Action Series 1993 Day 1
Nice sprint of a six man that sets up for Misawa-Kawada later on.

Singles Match:
Stan Hansen vs. Kenta Kobashi
July 29th, 1993 - AJPW Summer Action Series 1993 Day 22
Kobashi up until this point has been the fiery babyface who has to fight from under to survive to win, and going up against a monster like Hansen, you expect pretty much the same. But no, Hansen is distracted kicking the shit out of a young boy, and Kobashi goes over and starts kicking ass for like the first 10 minutes of this. Mayhem ensues. Greatest match ever? Definitely in the conversation.

Triple Crown Title Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada
July 29th, 1993 - AJPW Summer Action Series 1993 Day 22
Great night for All Japan action as Misawa and Kawada have a crazy tough act to follow. Kawada tries to tear off Misawa’s elbow since that’s what beat him last time.

Triple Crown Title #1 Contendership Match:
Steve Williams vs. Kenta Kobashi
August 31st, 1993 - AJPW Summer Action Series II 1993 Day 10
1993 was undoubtedly Kobashi’s breakout year and this match is another feather in his cap. Legendary match with a head drop finish that 90s All Japan is known for.

Singles Match:
Toshiaki Kawada vs. Kenta Kobashi
October 23rd, 1993 - AJPW October Giant Series 1993 Day 20
Kobashi’s strong 1993 run continues.

Real World Tag League 1993 Finals for the vacant AJPW World Tag Team Titles:
Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue
December 3rd, 1993 - AJPW Real World Tag League 1993 Day 18
Kawada has a bum knee from a tag match two days before and really tries to hide it. Kobashi notices and goes ape on it. Bombfest follows. Can Kawada’s knee hold out so the Holy Demon Army can capture the double cup and the world tag titles?

Champion Carnival 1994 Finals:
Steve Williams vs. Toshiaki Kawada
April 16th, 1994 - AJPW Champion Carnival 1994 Day 22
Misawa sat this Champion Carnival out so that Kawada could be established as the next one on the totem pole and Williams was now officially number one gaijin as Stan Hansen was on the decline. Kawada’s redemption arc after disappointing in the Tag League Finals that sets up the 6/3 title match.

AJPW World Tag Team Title Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue
May 21st, 1994 - AJPW Super Power Series 1994 Day 6
Kobashi’s knee was the prime target this time as Kawada wants revenge for December. Kawada also pisses off Misawa’s for the heck of it. But just like Kawada has improved since the Tag League winning the Champion Carnival, Kobashi has also improved and is ready to prove he is on the same level as everyone else.

Triple Crown Title Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Toshiaki Kawada
June 3rd, 1994 - AJPW Super Power Series 1994 Day 16
The match that is popularly held as GOAT match. Kawada has vastly improved since their last meeting, Misawa has been champion for two years, and if there was a time for Kawada to beat Misawa, this is it. It’s the culmination of the buildup to Kawada’s story. The most similar comparison I can think of, is Naito’s pursuit of Okada; and like Okada, Misawa isn’t the easiest champion to put away.

Triple Crown Title Match:
Mitsuharu Misawa (c) vs. Steve Williams
July 28th, 1994 - AJPW Summer Action Series 1994 Day 21
Misawa has been champion for two years at this point and does not look like he is slowing down. Can Dr. Death pull off the upset in the match of his career?

Triple Crown Title Match:
Steve Williams (c) vs. Kenta Kobashi
September 3rd, 1994 - AJPW Summer Action Series II 1994 Day 11
Kobashi’s first title shot. Not as good as their match the previous year, but that’s not saying much considering it is All Japan and still better than anything else going on at the time.

Real World Tag League 1994 Finals for the vacant AJPW World Tag Team Titles:
Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi vs. Steve Williams & Johnny Ace
December 10th, 1994 - AJPW Real World Tag League 1994 Day 18
Fantastic match to close out the year. Doc has been on fire all year and that does not stop here as he puts on another performance bullying Misawa and Kobashi most of the match. Also, Johnny Ace looks like a terribly underrated worker after this.

Thanks for you guys patience with this. Personal life postponed it for awhile, but I finally got it out 28 minutes before my birthday. Part 2 will probably be the last one I do. Enjoy.
submitted by Bjkdie to ajpw [link] [comments]

2020.09.08 03:34 Typhmus BoldRoller's B-Team Power Rankings

If I didn't put your name anywhere on here, it's probably just cause I don't know who you are, or you haven't played competitive before. If I did ratings based on you even though I didn't know who you were, that would have lead to misleading and biased ratings, so please don't feel left out if you aren't on here!

12.) Master Boaters

Offense - Sir Cle Jerk, dobs, sweatypete
Defense - Razgriz, Enthymeme, Son Hye Joo, Frankster
I'm not that sure about this team. Sir Cle is alright but the rest of the team isn't that deep. Sweaty has been pretty laggy in the past which has been naturally making his playstyle worse, and I'm excited to see dobs play a full season. If dobs and sir cle can work together, they would have a better chance of making it to the playoffs, but I'm still not convinced of the defense. Razgriz might be able to do some plays then and there, but I think Raz won't be able to play that well alongside his defense partners. This team still needs a lot of work, and I don't see this team being the kind of team that will take scrims to the next level, and train hard every day, but...you never know.

11.) Catalytic Cap Converters

offense - EphewSeakay, Kooler, lobster (slobonmyknob)
defense - Niplepotamus, Mueller Time, DYD
With a lot of hard work and scrims, I could see this team potentially making playoffs. Kooler on offense will be a interesting switch, I've seen him on offense during games before and I believe that he could do some big things if he had the right coach. Slob is also a decent partner to be with, especially if she takes the time to learn how to play with Ephew and Kooler. Ephew is also a decent player that would have to learn differently for his team. It's the same with the defense. Overall, this is a very "decent" team and I'm not sure how to rate it, but I have low expectations for them as of right now. I think Niple might be the best player on this team and he will have to pull out some big moves if he's interested in making it to playoffs with this team.

10.) Ball Guys

offense - jig, RandyBoBandy, Pavement, IcePlatypus
defense - Delsolar, BarryBerkman, peng
Another interesting draft. Jig and Randy have proven to be good players and been able to play with a variety of different partners. Pavement is a very nice pickup and I could see him starting if he takes the time to learn with the team. The defense is risky, which is why I've rated them here. Delsolar did well in NFTL with me, and I could see how much work and effort he wanted to put into the game, which is always a good thing, but to see Delsolar as the starting defense is interesting. To back him up, there's BarryBerkman and peng. I know almost nothing about berkman except how he played mLTP S6 as "lifeisgood". Peng is a very old player, but has recently came back in s18 and has been playing A LOT of tpm. Recently, he's been improving a lot, and could become something big this season under the right coach. However, these three players don't seem like a good starting option. These are the kind of players you expect to be substitutes.

9.) Manipulation Station

offense - U-Baul(HeniousAnus), Jswan, Jelly Rat, Zoomie
defense - slime_god, Prime
Not a good look on this team. I didn't know where to rate them really, but I rated them here because I had a tiny spec of hope that slime_god would channel his inner poggers and teach this defense how to rock. The offense is interesting. Henious wouldn't be my first choice for a offense but seeing how this team turned out, you have 3 above average offense players looking for their shot to make big plays. I believe that these guys could get some good chemistry together and make that happen. Prime has been doing better in TPM, and he's back with dusk. I feel like dusk would be able to coach these guys into a sleeper team.

8.) Bohemian Cap City

offense - YUNG BREEZY, Snekster, Reformed Hen
defense - lukemoo, 12384, Acuraun
I really like the YUNG BREEZY and lukemoo selection here. Both players are very good and they might be enough to help carry the team to playoffs. The reason I put this team so low is a gut feeling that BREEZY will need to adjust to his team with Snekster and Reformed Hen. Both of them are also good in their own way, however, I don't feel they're a good fit together. On the other side of the field, the defense is really nice. Lukemoo, 12384, and Acuraun is a good substitute choice when they need it. I believe in this team, but my hopes of the offense sticking together and being able to pull out wins for the team are low.

7.) Big Poppa Goes to Olive Jardim

offense - T-Swift, Homer Jay, Smallybigs
defense - bergieberg, TheEpicBlob, Kahnman
I think this team looks really good. T-Swift has been proving how great of a player he is on both Offense and Defense, and Homer Jay has been racking up good stats. Bergieberg and TheEpicBlob seem like a interesting pair. Personally, I believe Blob to be very underrated and a really good pickup for anybody that needs defense However, I just don't see these guys being strong enough to support each other.

6.) The Team About Nothing

offense - D4NK_JUKER, adawg. based ball
defense - im a goat, BurtReynolds, JARVISLANDRY, JH13
The offense and defense of this team are above average for sure. D4NK has constantly been doing good in pubs, if he takes the time to practice and learn with his team, he will probably have a great breakout season. Adawg is a long time player that has been getting better and better. IF adawg finally played a full season under the ropes of this team, they have a good shot of making playoffs. Based ball is a good option for a sub, he makes a lot of mistakes but I've seen him trying to improve himself and stop making dumb mistakes, so again, if he takes time practicing with his team and learning, and hopefully does not ghost his team for the entire regular season, then he would be a great pair for this offense. Defense-Wise, Im a goat was on my XLTP team, he played decently well, I feel like if he scrims a lot, and commits himself more to his team, then it's a good defense lineup. Burt did alright last season, I'm not sure how much he will be able to pull off for this team though. Jarvis has been playing tagpro since you heard the word tagpro. If you see a post on reddit that JUST got posted a minute ago, turns out, Jarvis already read the entire post before you even saw it. That's just the way he works. With the great potential, he has a chance to make something big for this team. His biggest lack is not learning alongside people. If he takes time to listen and learn strats, he will be a good starter.

5.) Spherical on Ice

offense - Airmigo, kl, aerrow, Moonghost
defense - SB12, sorry I suck, Gleg
Good team, offense is really good, a lot of depth between them all. Airmigo has been doing insane. He is insane. He is literally the definition of insanity. kl was Airmigo's teammate in XLTP, some say they were carried, but others say that THEY were the carriers. aerrow and Moonghost are both great upcoming players that I'm excited to see peak out with Airmigo and kl. SB12 is an OPH boy, so I'm not sure how he we will transition to such a different environment, but he is still good overall, all that matters is whether him and sorry I suck/gleg can pull out sick defense skills.

4.) Dark Side of the Ball

offense - Drewfa, karasu, gillyball
defense - gh0st, cirez d, Trapsin
This seem has great potential, I could see the locker rooms being filled up with excitement, encouraging gameplay. Drewfa has been hyped up a lot and he's been practicing a lot, hopefully with the right pairing and the patience to learn his team's playstyles, he will be come a huge carry boi. Karasu is another really good pick up. He's been destroying on offense for the past 4 seasons. However, he was on LBT for each of those 4 seasons. Maybe this new environment will change him, or perhaps he will take what he learned from his Sensei Tachi Fender and Chucky and become a champ. Gilly is an upcoming star, I personally think he's decent and could become pretty good if people showed him the ropes. gh0st is an All-star defense, and with him alongside cirez d, and Trapsin, that will be a really hard defense to get out on.

3.) A Blockwork Orange

offense - WRIG, LogisticMap, 3.1 Thor, Keyser Soze
defense - Irony, clew3. DEIRF
Strong offense, Strong defense. Irony learned a lot of my team last season alongside Pro Boat, and I believe that him and Clew would be one of the strongest defense pairings in this league. Clew has is still destroying teams on defense, and if Irony takes time to learn, then this might be the team that lets clew finally breakout and win the championship. I'm excited to see DEIRF in action too, been awhile since he's played but I know that he's brings a good vibe to any team he's on. WRIG and Logistic are players that have played in Both positions very well. The offense pairing is strong, and even if they have to play temp D, they should dominate the board. You look down this team and see 3.1 Thor, Keyser Soze, and DEIRF, who are all excellent players to rotate in, no doubt in their potential. I expect good things from this team.

2.) The Land Before Timers

offense - Tinderfella, Garet, 42, Oink Oink
defense - Porps, BertAndBort, Paps
This horrible, horrific, awful, grisly, hideous western team is really good. During the draft, I was questioning how LBT was able to get these players. Obviously, no eastern team wants a westy on their team, but there was little to no bidding up on these guys. Almost this entire team has chemistry with each other from some point. Tinderfella has been the recurring icon of LBT, and him and Garet won't have much of a problem on offense. One of the strongest offense pairs probably. 42 Was a good pickup. He's been having his downs and ups recently, but with the help of his Sensei Tachi Fender and Chucky, they will transform him back into his prime. Defense is interesting. Porps is huge, and one of the best defenders in the league, Bert is an upcoming superstar, and I don't know much about paps. This team will have way almost no problems on offense, so most of the teaching and scrims/drills/practice will probably have to focus on the defense to makes sure they can ensure a buper appearance.

1.) Poost Office

offense - carrrrrrl, BoldRoller, Victor Messi, Astor, Tavore Paran (whiskey jack)
defense - DwarfFortres, Wheelin Timmy, PASSTHEFLAG
There is so much I want to say about this team, but I don''t want to make a 20 paged analysis. The defense here is great. DwarfFortres and Wheelin Timmy will strive to become one of the, if not already, best Defense pairing in the league. If anything goes wrong, you need not look more than at PASSTHEFLAG who is a huge pickup as a 3rd defender. Excellent lineup on defense here. Offense wise, carrl has been proven to be a really good offense partner, I played with him in s15 and am excited to get another chance. I, obviously, am a god. Some call me the god of gods. During the season, hopefully I can get my lag and ping fixed so me and carl can bring the pain. Even after me and carl, there's Victor Messi, Astor, and whiskey, all the players have good knowledge of the game, they've had great seasons individually and that leads to a great depth for rotation. I have experience with everyone on this team except Timmy and PASSTHEFLAG, even including the A-Team. So I'm excited to work alongside close friends.
submitted by Typhmus to NLTP [link] [comments]

2020.09.07 23:15 rickg853 Rick G's B Team Power Rankings

Tier 1:
  1. The Team About Nothing (D4NK_JUKEadawg/based ball/natex offense, im a goat/BurtReynolds/JARVISLANDRY/JH13/Pussyslayer5 defense)
Offense rank: 1
Defense rank: 6
Jarvis and fractal were absolute steals at the 4th and 5th rounds and they will make all the difference in carrying this team to a Buper. This team has a ton of super active players which is really important on B team. The offense of D4NK_JUKER, adawg, and fractal should be unstoppable at the B team level while this team’s defense will also shine. This is a very deep team as well, with the top 3 balls at both positions being potential all-stars.
  1. Land Before Timers (Tinderfella/garet/42/Oink Oink offense, Porps/BertAndBort/Paps/snakes/ErectChris defense)
Offense rank: 2
Defense rank: 9
This offense, along with the TAN offense, are clearly separated from the rest of the league from my point of view. It’s kind of incredible that Fender was able to get essentially the same offense as his Buper winning team last season. The defense is definitely not as good as LBT’s last season, but it isn’t too bad. The overpowered offense should be enough to make this team a Buper contender.
  1. Spherical on Ice (kl/aerrow/Moonghost/ballsome offense, airmigo/SB12/Sorry I suck/Gleg/UNIT-01 defense)
Offense rank: 3
Defense rank: 3
While this team has a considerably better defense and only a slightly worse offense than LBT ranked above them, I’m not convinced by this team’s depth picks and rotations could hurt this team. The top 2 players on this team, kl and airmigo, should both carry this team to at least the Foci 4 as long as airmigo’s ping isn’t too bad.
Tier 2:
  1. Poost Office (carrrrrrl/BoldRolleVictor Messi/AstoTavore Paran offense, DwarfFortres/Wheelin Timmy/PASSTHEFLAG/GnasStrafDe defense)
Offense rank: 5
Defense rank: 2
I feel that this is one team that will be overlooked. However, Dwarf and Wheelin Timmy are both A team level defenders. Carrrrrrl and BoldRoller are close to that level, if not at that level, as well. This team has a ton of great depth, especially at offense. I’d probably call them the deepest B team, which will be helpful for rotations.
  1. Dark Side of the Ball (Drewfa/karasu/Gillyball/Black Widow offense, gh0st/cirez D/Trapsin/Corinth/choko defense)
Offense rank: 4
Defense rank: 4
I’ve heard that karasu might not be able to make gamedays, which definitely makes this team’s offense take a hit. However, I still have confidence in Drewfa and Gillyball’s abilities to grab and cap. The defense is also quite solid, especially with gh0st leading the way. Maybe one season gh0st will stop randomly falling to B team when he’s clearly a proven A team player.
  1. Bohemian Cap City (YUNG BREEZY/SneksteTony Clifton/Big Brother offense, lukemoo/12384/reformed hen/Acuraun/fanseman/JEEBUS CRUST defense)
Offense rank: 12
Defense rank: 1
This team has a collection of the best D players who fell from A team this season. Put any two together and you’d have an A team defense. Unfortunately, that means that some of those players are going to learn to play offense. Alternatively, I have full confidence that some of my rookies will develop into star offenders to accompany YUNG BREEZY and Snekster on offense. I don’t think my offense is the worst, but I’ll put it last anyways just for the 12/1 meme.
  1. A Blockwork Orange (LogisticMap/3.1 ThoKeyser Soze offense, WRIG/Irony/clew3/DEIRF/SOGEKING/Galdys defense)
Offense rank: 6
Defense rank: 5
I’m a big fan of the players on this team! Many of them have been former teammates of mine, and I think this team will have the best chemistry in the league. All the players here are solid, with the defense being slightly better than the offense. That being said, I think this team might not be able to be explosive enough to rise to the top of the league.
Tier 3:
  1. Master Boaters (Sir Cle Jerk/dobs/Sweatypete/Spheroid./Borgus offense, razgriz/Enthymeme/son hye joo/Frankster defense)
Offense rank: 10
Defense rank: 7
This is probably the B team that I’m most unsure about. Sir Cle is a consistent veteran presence on offense, but I’m not sure if he’ll find the right partner on this team. Razgriz on defense and the rookie Enthymeme are also unknowns, but I see this defensive pairing working out fairly well.
  1. Big Poppa Goes to Olive Jardim (T-Swift!/Homer Jay/SmallyBigs/tweener offense, bergieberg/TheEpicBlob/Hjalpa/KahnMan/BMF defense)
Offense rank: 11
Defense rank: 8
I’m fairly uncertain about this team’s offense, as I feel like most of the offenders here are more support O. I think putting Hjalpa on offense might make things a bit better. TheEpicBlob is an A team calibre defender and bergieberg should play alongside him well. I’m a bit worried about how Blob’s ping will be though now that he is western.
  1. Manipulation Station (U-Baul/JSwan/Jelly Rat/Zoomie/OuchMyBalls offense, slime_god/Prime/soul read/MavRonin defense)
Offense rank: 8
Defense rank: 10
I like the pick of U-Baul as the 5th ball, but I think the rest of this team’s draft was somewhat suspect. OuchMyBalls has great prospects, but I think it was too risky to take an unproven rookie in the first round of the snake. It seems like U-Baul will have to be a strong anchor in order for this team to make the playoffs.
Tier 4:
  1. Ball Guys (jig./RandyB0Bandy/Pavement/IcePlatypus/poodle offense, DelsolaBarryBerkman/peng/King~Zion defense)
Offense rank: 7
Defense rank: 11
The offense for this team is actually quite decent but it’s not as good as some of the other offenses out there. The defense, on the other hand, entirely consists of unproven players. This is a classic example of a high risk, high reward team and I admire Gram being ambitious. I’m not convinced it will pay off, but we will see.
  1. Catalytic Cap Converters (EphewSeakay/KoolelobsteOverkill offense, Niplepotamus/Mueller Time/DYD/praoprao/jkxs defense)
Offense rank: 9
Defense rank: 12
I hate to rank this team last as there are a lot of players I really like on this team. Unfortunately, I think this team’s defense will drag them down. While Niplepotamus, Mueller, and jkxs have all been improving greatly, I don’t see them having a high enough ceiling to compete with other defenses. The offense isn’t too bad and could even be good if Kooler transitions well to O. I think of EphewSeakay and slob as support offenders though, so I don’t know who will take the lead on this offense.
submitted by rickg853 to NLTP [link] [comments]

2020.09.07 19:05 1337smoke [Store] Sport Gloves Vice FN, Karambit #853 FT, Karambit #387 BS, M9 #601 FT, 4x Reason Holo ST MW AK-47 Redline, 4x LDLC Holo Icarus Fell, 3x TT Holo Glock Waterelemental, Kara Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald/Black Pearl, more Doppler Gems, Katos, Guns and Gloves

Everything tradeable unless stated otherwise
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Karambit Case Hardened FT 0.28 #853 "Sara Haire" God tier blue gem Click $27000
Karambit Case Hardened BS 0.79 #387 P1 Click $13900
M9 Case Hardened FT 0.35 #601 "Oceano" non duped Click $12500
ST Butterfly Sapphire FN 0.01 Click $7700
Karambit Emerald FN 0.01 small dink only visible in one special lighting, looks flawless everywhere else Click $6700
Karambit Sapphire FN 0.002 1080p pixel corner Click $6700
Talon Ruby FN 0.0002 #2 lowest on float.db Click $5270
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.010 #722, fade pattern + great Corner Click $5270
Karambit Ruby FN 0.006 BTA Corner Click $4975
M9 Ruby FN 0.004 Click $4850
Butterfly Crimson Web FN 0.063 1 web playside, tradeable on the 15th Click $3650
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.07 Big web, BTA Corner Click $3425
Talon Ruby FN 0.008 Click $3075
Bayonet Sapphire FN 0.014 Click $3075
Karambit Black Pearl FN 0.008 Click $2640
Karambit Crimson Web MW 0.0700 #1 float mw, decent Corner & web on tip Click $1700
Flip Emerald FN 0.06 tradeable on the 13th Click $1625
Bayonet Marble Fade FN 0.03 2nd Max F&I Click $1140
Butterfly Fade FN 0.01 98% Fade Click $960
Butterfly Fade MW 0.07 98% Fade, tradeable on the 14th Click $870
Karambit Doppler P4 FN 0.026 BTA Blue & Corner, tradeable on the 13th Click $640
Butterfly Vanilla 0.38, tradeable on the 13th Click $450
M9 Doppler P4 FN 0.03 BTA Blue, tradeable on the 13th Click $395
Bayonet Crimson Web MW 0.10 1 web playside Click $385
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
ST AK-47 Redline MW 0.10 4x Reason Holo Kato 14, red stripes on Mag Click $24200
ST Glock Water Elemental FN 0.0002 3x Titan Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $20000
AK-47 Black Laminate FN 0.065 4x Titan Holo Kato 2014 Click $17000
M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN 0.01 4x LDLC Katowice 2014 Holo Click Click $14250
ST AK-47 Fuel Injector FN 0.003 4x HR Holo Kato 14 Click $13900
AK-47 Hydroponic FN 0.003 4x VP Holo Kato 14 Click $11975
ST AWP Asiimov BS 0.99993 #2 highest Float ST AWP Asiimov, CM Holo on Scope Click Click $7400
AWP Dragon Lore MW 0.08 Dig Holo on Scope Click $6550
AWP Graphite FN 0.03 4x Clan Mystik Holo Kato 14 Click Click $6125
Desert Eagle Blaze FN 0.01 LDLC Holo above grip, 1/1 with this placement according to float.db Click $2200
ST SCAR-20 Bloodsport FN 0.004 4x Reason non holo Katowice 2014 Click Click $2065
Glock Twilight Galaxy FN 0.006 Dig Holo above handle, 1/1 according to exchange Click Click $1350
AWP Asiimov FT 0.25 NIP, HR & Navi Holo Kato 14 Click $980
ST P2000 Fire Elemental FN 0.05 HR Holo above Grip Click $725
Famas Pulse FN 0.05 Vox & 3DMax Holo Kato 14 Click $315
Five Seven Candy Apple MW 0.08 Complexity Holo above Grip, LGB Holo on Grip Click Click $160
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
AWP Dragon Lore FN 0.006 Click $6200
ST M4A4 Howl FT 0.16 Click $4175
ST M4A4 The Emperor FN 0.06 Click $400
ST AK-47 Neon Rider FN 0.05 4x Furia Holo Click $340
Item Float Info Other SS Ingame Screenshot Buyout (USD)
Sport Gloves Vice FN 0.061 #5 lowest on float.db Click $25000
Sport Gloves Pandoras Box MW 0.09 Click $7120
Driver Gloves Kingsnake MW 0.08 clean Knuckles Click $7120
Moto Gloves Spearmint MW 0.072 Click $6700
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.09 BTA Knuckles Click $6400
Sport Gloves Vice MW 0.11 decent knuckles Click $3850
Sport Gloves Superconductor MW 0.09 Click $2020
Specialist Gloves Fade MW 0.12 Click $1325
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.15 Click $520
Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT 0.27 Click $335
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submitted by 1337smoke to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]

2020.09.04 18:57 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #6: "Greek Invasion"

Friday, September 4th, 2020
I can’t believe Winston’s making me do this on my birthday!
It was sunrise on Gigi’s 19th birthday. She dragged a gas-powered chainsaw across the North Campus quad. An hour earlier, Winston had woken Gigi up with a phone call. “Fetch my chainsaw from under the bed and meet me at the library.Click. Not even a “Happy birthday.”
So, she’d rolled out of bed in a white tank top and baby-blue yoga pants. Call it morbid curiosity. Only Winston could come up with such demands, after all.
Gigi was streaked in oil and sweat. She hobbled to the library entrance and let the hunk of metal fall to the ground. North Campus was a vast expanse of willow trees and solitude at sunrise. But something was very…off.
Suddenly, Winston popped out of the bushes and pointed a pistol at Gigi’s forehead. “You’re alone on campus on a day like today,” he rattled off. “Out of the blue, some hooligan hops out of the bushes and tells you to wring your pockets. But you’re wearing a sundress, so you don’t have any pockets. So instead, he-”
“YEET!” Gigi screamed, kicking Winston’s crotch. He crumbled to the ground, hitting a falsetto.
“Oh...shit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
“Shiiiet, it’s all right,” Winston moaned, rolling over on his back. Gigi’s frowning, pale face eclipsed the rising sun. “Happy birthday. It’s a Smith and Wesson Bodyguard. Too small for me. Be mindful of the trigger-pull and recoil. But I reckon it’s compact enough for your frou-frou jeans.”
“Oh! I...thank you! But why?” The warm gun fit in her small hand like a glove.
Winston stood up. “Hell, you’ve had my back since I got here. I reckon I oughta return the favor. I ain’t the brightest slice of pie in the knife drawer. But as long as you’re the brains, I may as well make due and be the brawn.”
I stole your other gun and our friends stole your fake IDs! is what Gigi wanted to say. “You...make me feel really safe, Winston!” is what she actually said, slipping the gun in her purse.
Winston lifted the chainsaw. “Welp, it’s time to cut some ties. We’ve got a rat in the frat. Some Alpha Beta Kappa brother pretendin’ to be one of us. See that tree down yonder? That’s their secret meet-up spot. And it’s gotta come down.”
ABK, or “All Big Kocks", started as a frat that met in an off-campus apartment. Then, Clyde (son of Dean Dale Crenshaw) took over. Overnight, the funding skyrocketed. This Honors Music Fraternity was BDE’s greatest rival. Live shows every Friday night, a 3.8 GPA entrance criteria, and co-ed. “Why go to any other frat parties?” Clyde would always argue. “When the women are already here?
“So, about this rat,” Gigi mused, following Winston to the tree. “You asked him nicely to leave?”
“Well, let’s just say he’s branded for life. Name was Taggart, and we actually rushed together. Poor bastard.”
The lumberjack revved the chainsaw. His large pecs and biceps bulged under his shirt as he put that smoking-hot metal to work. He’d easily replaced 20 pounds of fat with muscle. And as that hundreds-year-old tree crashed to the ground, Gigi reminded herself to stay on his good side.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Winston yelled, taking off. “They’ll arrest you too! Hell, you’re the one with the filed-off serial number.”
“W-what?!” Gigi’s voice cracked as she sprinted past him.
“Fuckin’ with ya, Gigi.”
Gigi rode shotgun in Winston’s truck. She kicked off her flats and began massaging her sore feet.
“Um...I definitely stink,” Gigi laughed nervously, slipping her shoe back on. That was Winston’s cue to roll the window back up. She reached into her purse and pulled out the huge charcoal bath bomb that she stole from Sarah. “Dear Chadwick Hughes’ spirit: all I want for my birthday is a bath!”
“Hmm.” Winston drove past Firewater Hall toward Greek Row. “You’re a wanted woman,” he reminded her. “If we go to the house, you’re gonna have to sneak in. If Ryan finds ya, he’ll put your head on a pike.”
Ah, Gigi thought. Because we snuck in, punched him out, and blew up his father’s ashes. Seems...fair.
They pulled up to the BDE house and saw Ryan’s white BMW in the driveway. Winston shut off his Roush engine and instinctively pulled Gigi’s head into his lap, hiding her from plain view.
“Here’s the plan, birthday gal. I’ll go upstairs and grab a shower in the guest bathroom. I’ll save ya some hot water. Wait here, and I’ll text ya when everything’s ready.”
Winston slipped inside. Gigi lay across the passenger and driver’s seat. She thought about bailing and driving to Denny’s for free birthday pancakes. But Winston had the keys. And as her sweating, greased-up body melted in that god-awful hot truck, she decided that she really wanted that bath.
Gigi drifted off to sleep. In her dreams, she sat at a kitchen table in a massive Beverly Hills mansion. In front of Winston were a birthday cake and a huge gift bag. “Happy birthday, Winston!” she exclaimed. Winston reached into the bag and pulled out his lost Colt Single Action Army. “Ta-da! It’s your gun!” Then, he pulled out his lost BDE binder. “Ta-da! It’s your fake IDs!” Finally, he reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of yellow and white striped panties with a lacy bow. “Ta-da! It’s my virginity!
Gigi bolted awake to her phone vibrating. A text from Winston. Ready. Use the ladder. She sat up from her puddle of sweat and made her way around the side of the house.
At the top of the raggedy fire escape ladder, Gigi reached the second-story open window. Tea candles lined the shelf of an elegant clawfoot bathtub, filled to the brim with steaming water. Beside the tub was a shower caddy containing a bottle of merlot, a bag of chocolate-covered almonds, several high-end soaps and face masks, and a note.
To my partner in crime: I reckon we managed to evade the law quite a few times since we moved here. Truth is, ain’t no bathtubs in jail. Now, enjoy all this bougie shit that I found in Claire’s room. Happy birthday - Winston.
“He writes just like he speaks,” Gigi whispered, holding the letter to her chest.
Gigi stripped down to her underwear and neatly folded her clothes in a pile. On the floor was Winston’s t-shirt and blue jeans from earlier. I’m sure he’ll wear that again! She slipped off her yellow panties. After some thought, or no thought at all, she stuffed them into the back pocket of his jeans.
Gigi lowered herself into her first college bath. Even the water felt softer and silkier than in the dorm, whose water flowed from lead-flavored pipes. She picked her brain for every get-rich-quick scheme in the book, aspiring to live in such comfort full-time.
I could blackmail Sarah and Tai about that binder, she thought, submerging her head under water. Maybe I can convince them to give me a cut of their profits! So that a poor student like me can buy clothes that aren’t secondhand! But that would mean keeping the fake IDs a secret from Winston and betraying his trust...
Gigi shot up from the water, gasping for breath. She rubbed her eyes and slicked back her jet-black hair. Then, she unwrapped the bath bomb. It fizzled as a milky grey mist clouded her entire bath.
Winston, would you forgive me? Gigi lifted her hand out of the water and read her nearly-faded tattoo. And if I take a cut of their earnings, I’ll buy the cutest outfits to wear for you. I’m-
She lowered her tattooed hand into the cloudy water, where it disappeared between her legs.
“I’m ready for you, Winston.”
“Look at this swole son of a bitch!” greeted Brother Twinston, as Winston entered the cozy living room after his shower. They and eight other pledges dressed in white button-downs and tan slacks, adorned with a BDE pin on the collar.
Winston grabbed Twinston in a playful headlock. “I reckon ain’t nobody gonna be able to tell us apart now.”
“I reckon you’re right, stunt double!” Twinston agreed. This young man was a spitting image of Winston in looks and spirit. They had met at a frat party after taking whiskey shots and reaching for the pickle jar at the same time. Bromance at first sight.
“Enough faggotry,” Ryan commanded, walking up the podium by the fireplace. As the de-facto alpha of the room, his pomade-style hair stood taller than everyone else’s. Seven AM on Friday was BDE’s weekly meeting, and brothers were expressly forbidden from taking Friday classes. Because as soon as this was over, the weekend pre-gaming would commence.
“Now, Winston!” Ryan began. “Looks like your sausage fingers got some dirt under your nails. I trust the deed was done?”
“As motherfuckin’ Shakespeare said: the tree fell, nobody was around, and it still made a fuckin’ sound. I reckon ABK’s hideout is being hauled off by a truck as we speak.”
“You’ve never had a way with words,” Ryan pointed out. “But I gotta admit: you get shit done. Now, if another rat wants to show their face, I got no problem burning down their momma’s house. Next on the list. We gotta talk about two of our…ex-members. Claire and Connor. She packed up the rest of her shit and slipped out of here last night. I’ll be posting an application for Social Chair on our Facebook page.”
Last week, after Winston had caught Claire cheating on him with Frank, she had officially stepped down from BDE.
“Hell, let’s break tradition and make it a man, for Christ’s sake!” Twinston piped up. Despite only being a sophomore, he had clout among the senior brothers.
“I’ll consider it,” Ryan said, shrugging. “You know women: always afraid of commitment. Bitch didn’t even give a reason for leaving. Although I’m not gonna lie: I’m gonna miss those tits during strip poker.”
Two muscular black brothers gave each other a crisp high-five.
“Now, onto Connor. Not only did this beta bitch get a DUI, but he had our motherfucking coke on him.” Ryan tossed a bag of red-and-white cocaine on the coffee table. “Now what the fuck did we say about taking coke out of the house?”
“Don’t go to the buyers - let the buyers come to you,” the brothers responded in unison.
“Final topic of conversation,” Ryan announced, holding up a saloon-style wanted poster. “I’d like to announce that I've delivered swift, painful justice to the bastards who stole my father’s ashes.” On that poster were security camera photos of Frank, Tweed, and Chad - their faces X’d out. Next to their images were lo-res pics of Gigi and Sarah. “I’m increasing the bounty to 2500 bucks for whoever brings me the other two cunts.”
This bounty was news to Winston. Nobody knew he was even related to Sarah, or that Gigi was currently bathing upstairs. While the brothers salivated over the reward money, Ryan swiped a fire poker cast with BDE at the tip. “We took those three bastards out to the quad and branded them for life! Sent their bitch-asses packing. But as for these two dumb sluts...I think they were the masterminds of the whole goddamn plan. I say we tie ‘em down and apply directly to the forehead!”
“Yeah, man, fuck these ho’s,” Winston played along. “They did your daddy wrong. But real talk, I say we track ‘em down and exile them from the fuckin’ campus for life. Ain’t no use in getting thrown in jail for assault. Hell, that’s where those bitches belong.”
“Winston, I’m disappointed in you, chief,” Ryan said condescendingly, slamming the poker on the fireplace with a loud clank. He walked over to Winston and stood eye-to-eye with him. Dead silence. Finally, Ryan cracked a douchey grin.
“All right, all right,” Ryan chuckled. “I’ll go easy on ‘em...that is, if they drop to their knees and suck every last drop from us until they fucking drown!”
The brothers roared like animals, chanting Ryan’s name as he ripped open the bag of red-and-white cocaine. Winston forced a painful smile as the nausea set in. Ryan leaned over the coffee table and proceeded to snort his usual Friday-morning line.
“WHO’S GOT MOTHERFUCKING BIG DICKS?” Ryan screamed psychotically.
“WE DO!” the brothers yelled, banging their chests.
Ryan flipped over the glass coffee table, shattering it into pieces.
The massive South Campus quad was speckled with students playing ultimate frisbee, strumming guitars, and pretending to study. It was Tai’s happy place. Ever since Jacky turned him loose, he and Sarah had been practicing Krav Maga during sunset. A zen-like hobby that helped him clear his mind and shrink his erection.
Tai landed a shaky roundhouse kick as he spotted a young lady in the corner of his eye.
“I’ve got your rematch, Sarah,” Tai jeered, landing a sloppy jump-spinning crescent kick. But as he stuck the landing, he witnessed Gigi in a traditional kimono and a chopstick bun.
“I accept your challenge in Sarah’s stead!” Gigi cheered, bowing deeply.
“Wait...huh? Where’s Sarah?”
“Ah, in celebration of my 6,939th day on Planet Earth, she elected to maintain a record of meeting notes in my dreadful Comparative Literature enrichment!”
A blank stare from Tai as he slowly shifted into a guarding stance.
“I mean...it’s my fucking birthday, so she went to class for me!” She kicked off her flats and crouched into a grappling stance. “Now, will you hand over a third of your fake ID profits? Or will I have to spill the Bush’s Bourbon and Brown Sugar baked beans to Winston?”
“W-what?! Who told you?”
“Hmmm...twas but a whisper in the wind - a grape from the vine!” Gigi inched toward Tai, who cautiously backed up.
“Okay, look...don’t, um, don’t do anything drastic! We’re gonna pay it back to him, I promise. If you think about it, we’re just doing the work for him. It’s just that...well, it’s been a tough week so we can’t really afford to give you that kind of money!”
“As you wish. I’ll have to beat it out of you instead!”
Tai threw a lunging side kick. But the swift Gigi virtually teleported behind him. She jammed her thumbs into the tender spot below his ears.
“Fool, a petite fighter such as myself must play defensively,” Gigi bragged, regrouping. “I’ve been watching you. Looks like those kicks have thrown you off balance, Mister Flat Foot!”
“You can kiss that ID money goodbye,” Tai scoffed, rubbing his pressure points.
“That’s perfectly fine, grasshopper! I don’t intend to ask for it.”
Tai side-stepped and tried for a sweep kick. Gigi raised her leg over her head like a Chinese gymnast. He fell forward from his own momentum, but Gigi pressed her foot against his face to stop the fall. She wiggled her toes, then gave him a firm roundhouse to the side of the head. Tai fell back onto the grass. As he lost his breath, she wrapped her arms and legs around him from behind. A rear-naked chokehold that Sarah would've been damn proud of.
“Jaleo gada, jaleo gada, jaleo gada,” Gigi cooed in Korean, squeezing his windpipe. And “go to sleep” he did.
Ten minutes later, Tai sat up with a start, drenched in sweat. A ring of students surrounded him.
“Break it up, dudes and dudettes!” Sarah exclaimed, forcing her way through the crowd. The students dispersed as she helped the oblivious Tai to his feet.
“Oh...fuck,” Tai groaned. He fumbled for his minimalist metal wallet. Six-hundred dollars in cash was gone.
“You got robbed, my guy?” Sarah asked, kigh as a hite.
“That’s not even the half of it. This is bad. I have a lot to explain to you.”
Tai recapped his encounter with Gigi, while he and Sarah sipped lattes on the library’s top floor.
“Holy mother of balls,” Sarah whispered after Tai explained Gigi’s blackmailing.
“Look, maybe we come clean. Do you think you can talk to Winston?”
“Not a chance in Woodstock,” Sarah replied, frantically shaking her dreadlocks. “My brother’s all about loyalty first. He’d cut my hair while I was asleep and he’d circumcise you while you were awake.”
Tai instinctively covered his crotch as they stopped at a bulletin board. “So...we’re Gigi’s bitches," said Tai. "If we owe her a cut every time we make a sale, we’ve gotta find a better market.” On cue, he swiped a flyer from the bulletin board. TONIGHT: Alpha Beta Kappa proudly presents the Housewarming Masquerade. $10 cover. All students welcome.
The good ole’ southern twins stood on the wrap-around porch, whiskey in hand.
“Look, brother,” Twinston started, patting Winston’s back. “I’ve known Ryan for a year. I know he can get a little...impulsive with his words. But that don’t mean he’s impulsive with his actions. You’re worried about them two girls, aren’t ya?”
Winston was one text message away from telling Gigi and Sarah to flee campus. During last month’s frat party, he had never thought to question why Frank and Gigi had shown up in the first place. It never occurred to him that they were there to blow Ryan’s father’s legacy to smithereens.
Ryan stumbled out in a bright red bathrobe that matched his stuffy, red nose. “Shit, I almost forgot to ask ya, Winston,” he slurred. “I meant to collect your fake ID money for this week.”
Winston was so close to coming clean. Some jack-off stole the binder! he wanted to say. But the punishment for having lost it would be swift and fierce. So, he reached into his wallet and pulled out 600 bucks, straight from his own student loan account.
“Geez, tough week again, huh?” Ryan jeered, snatching the cash. “Where have you been trying to sell them?”
“Oh, you know...the regular beats,” Winston lied. “I reckon I ain’t gonna hit the library on weekdays no more.”
“The library?” Twinston repeated, bewildered. “Shit, what’s it like in there? Ain’t never been.”
“Not your brightest moment, I’m not gonna lie,” Ryan chuckled at Winston. “But, at least you learned your lesson for next week.” Winston nodded, taking it on the chin. If he had to make another withdraw, there wouldn’t be a “next week.” Winston had to find that ID thief.
“Whoa, what the hell?” Twinston pointed at a fleet of U-Haul vans, led by a 2021 silver BMW. They watched as the vehicles pulled into the driveway of the empty frat house next door.
“Holy fucking shit,” Ryan gasped. “It’s motherfucking Alpha Beta Kappa.”
The bald driver opened the butterfly doors. Thick marijuana smoke trickled out of the car. The passenger doors sprang up, and out hopped a freckle-faced redhead with a pornstar body. She brought a wheelchair over to the driver’s side and helped the bald guy into the seat. Then, she marveled at the huge mansion and jumped up and down in her stilettos, her huge breasts bouncing in her tight corset. She rushed into the new house, pausing to give Winston a quick glance before she entered.
Another redhead, huh? Winston thought. My favorite flavor.
The bald guy rolled over to the BDE house in his wheelchair, a present in his lap. His large biceps and tattoos were on full display in his worn Guns N’ Roses sleeveless tee. His jeans were bleached and destroyed and his black Converse were spotless.
“What’s up, neighbors?” the paraplegic spoke in a loud, baritone voice. He handed the present to Ryan. “I’m Clyde, President of Alpha Beta Kappa. Looks like we’re gonna be seeing a whole lot of each other.”
“Uh...yeah, my name’s Ryan.” He extended a hand while using the other to dab his bloody nose. “So...I thought Tri-Delt leased the house next door.”
“I assume you know sororities almost as well as I do. Truth is: women are too damn afraid of commitment. You gonna open that present or what?”
Ryan slipped off the bow and tore the wrapping paper. It was a penis pump.
“Now, let me lay down some ground rules for you and your twins,” Clyde continued, straightening his posture in the chair. “There’s only room for one big dick on Greek Row. Now you may think you have a big dick. But there’s a gang of nine-inch fresh-cut cocks in town.”
Clyde whistled with his fingers. The U-Haul truck doors rolled up. And out came a cavalry of ABK brothers, hauling furniture toward the house as they chanted “All Big Kocks!” Like pallbearers, they each grabbed a corner of expensive sofas, desks, and beds. Posing on top of each piece of furniture was a topless ABK sister. The brothers escorted them like royalty into the soon-to-be furnished mansion.
Clyde unfolded a flyer from his back pocket and handed it to Ryan. “Bring your asses tonight. There are plenty more tits where those came from.” It was an invitation to the ABK Housewarming Masquerade. Clyde swiveled around and rolled back on over to his new house. “By the way!” Clyde called out. “I don’t condone Taggart for spying on y’all like he did! I don’t care who you work for: a rat is a rat!”
“That’s bullshit,” Ryan whispered. He knew good and well that Taggart’s spying was planned and coordinated by Clyde himself. “If they’re gonna spy on us, we’re gonna do the same fuckin’ thing to them.”
“Sit back and relax,” Winston finally broke his silence, standing tall next to his doppelganger. “My twin and I will crash this party and dig up as much dirt as possible.”
“And he and I are the only two who can be in two places at once,” Twinston added.
“Then we infiltrate tonight!” Ryan announced. “Because gentlemen, Greek Row is a pair of tight spandex trunks. And there’s only room for one big dick.”
Watching Tai work was amazing.
At the ABK Masquerade, the masked Sarah sat at the bar in the massive concert venue. Clyde’s 90’s cover band was onstage. Like clockwork, the masked Tai would sniff out gay clientele, grab a fake ID from the binder, approach him, make out with him on the dance floor, and come back with a fistful of dollars.
“I’m averaging one sale per song,” Tai panted, wiping somebody’s lipstick from his mouth. “Here, hit me with another ID!”
“You do know this is borderline prostitution, my dude?”
Prostitution or not, they racked up a thousand bucks in the first hour. And with Gigi taking a cut of their sales, they were going to need that extra money to keep this operation afloat.
“Take a break, will ya?” Sarah suggested, patting the barstool next to her.
The freckle-faced redhead from Clyde’s BMW was bartending. She wore bright blue fairy wings, a lacy corset, and a glittery half-mask. “Two lemon drops, my loves,” she cooed in a Scottish accent, setting the drinks on the bar. “Aw, I love how comfy you two look!”
Tai and Sarah were dressed down in South App hoodies and yoga pants: items that every female or gay student owned. The goal was to not stand out while selling fake IDs. And yet, they had failed to wear masks.
“I prefer to dress like I do around the house,” the fairy said with a smile, fluttering off to help the next patron.
Outside, Winston and Twinston - the twin spies - walked up the ABK steps in matching button-downs, slacks, and white opera masks. They psyched each other up. The “Who’s got big dicks? We’ve got big dicks!” standard affair. Suddenly, a pack of drunk girls stormed out the front door and spilled an entire glass of cranberry vodka on Winston’s khakis. “Suck it up, buttercup!” she slurred, stumbling off with her posse. Co-ed fraternity girls were a different breed.
“Shit,” Winston muttered, looking down at the mess.
“Better go change, brother,” Twinston suggested. “I’mma gather some intel until you get back.”
Winston retreated to the BDE house while Twinston entered the party alone. He stood at the entrance, absorbing the nostalgia of the 90’s rock set. Permanently-seated Clyde was on drums. A crowd of groupies sang along up front while everyone else gathered on the dance floor.
“Jack and Coke,” Twinston told the fairy bartender. “If you have time.”
From the dance floor, Tai and Sarah were casually mingling and making fake ID sales. They were also people-watching. “It’s fucking uncanny,” Tai began, pointing at Twinston from afar.
“I’m telling you, that’s not Winston,” Sarah argued. “If you want proof, ask him to drop his pants. My brother has a birthmark on his upper-left ass cheek.”
“That dude could fool almost anyone though. But a sister always knows.”
Suddenly, all eyes shot toward the front door. In walked a young South Korean student in a baby-blue evening dress. Trailing behind her was a long, ornate satin train. The side-splitting fabric exposed her white-laced garter belt that ran from her thighs to her matching open-toed high heels. Instantly, she won the room.
Clyde hit the final snare, ending his Jane’s Addiction cover. “Well, don’t just stand there, princess!” Clyde called out to the woman, beckoning her onstage with a drumstick. “Come on up and introduce yourself.”
Princess Gigi obliged, but not before giving Tai and Sarah a passing glance. “I hope you’re on your A-game with those sales,” she whispered with a devious grin. “Because I need money for a red dress just like this one!”
Sarah tugged on Tai’s sleeve. “Let’s get the fuck out of here!” she hissed. “Hey...uh bartender?”
“I’m Miri,” the Scottish redhead responded. “But I bid you call me Miri.”
“Miri, care to point us to the back door?”
Tai and Sarah slipped through the kitchen and out the back door. Miri kept pouring for thirsty patrons, all while eyeing this Korean bombshell on stage.
“Um...hi, everyone!” Gigi greeted, while the seated Clyde held the microphone to her mouth. “It’s my birthday today, and...I’m sober! Who wants to help me change that?”
Every man on the dance floor cheered like Quentin Tarantino with a glass slipper. Their girlfriends gave Gigi dirty looks, holding their men close. Clyde leaned into her ear. “Don’t let me catch you paying for a single drop tonight.” He turned around and rolled back to the drum set. He clicked his sticks and began a Chili Peppers cover. The party was back underway.
“Another Jack and Coke,” Twinston requested from Miri. “Make it a double-shot.” From the bar, he’d watched the entire spectacle. Now, Gigi was walking over to him.
“Please read,” Gigi said, plopping down next to Twinston. She slipped the thin fabric of her dress to the side, exposing a pale white thigh. Then, she reached under her garter belt for a letter. She slid it across the bar, showing off her baby-blue painted nails. Twinston peeled off the heart-shaped sticker and unfolded the letter. Written in cursive was the most kinky, depraved to-do list of sex acts he had ever seen. At the bottom was a signed statement: For my birthday I, Ji-hye “Gigi” Moon, hereby sign my virginity over to Winston Arnold Beavers.
Clearly, Gigi had the wrong man.
As soon as Miri returned with Twinston's drink, Gigi swiped it. She sipped her first taste of whiskey through a straw, her bedroom eyes growing wider and wider. She slammed the glass of ice on the bar. Then, she leaned into Twinston’s ear and passed an ice cube from her mouth to his.
“Hey, uh...bartender?” Twinston stammered, as Gigi ran her tongue across his fuzzy beard.
“Back door’s through the kitchen,” Miri laughed in a Scottish accent as she watched the flirtatious pair.
Twinston grabbed Gigi’s hand and jetted out of there. If Winston caught them, he’d impale them with his chainsaw and cut the engine on. So they cut across the back yard and entered Twinston’s first-floor bedroom through the window. She immediately slipped out of her dress, leaving on nothing but the heels and garter belt. And as the masked girl spread her legs, Twinston kept telling himself that this was consensual.
Winston entered the ABK house in a filthy pair of blue jeans from that morning. The crowd waved their lighters while Clyde’s band played Semisonic’s “Closing Time.” Seeing as it was last call, Winston made a bee-line for the bar. “I’ll have a Jack and Coke, Miss,” Winston said to Miri, tipping his hat. “If you have time.”
Miri cocked her head, her wings and eyebrows twitching. “Wait...what’s going on?” she asked, taken aback by Winston’s twin from five minutes earlier.
“Alcoholism, that’s what,” Winston chuckled. “Why, I reckon you’ve just seen a ghost. Wanna have a drink with me to calm the spirits?” He was here to gain ABK intel. But her freckled face, wavy red hair, and Scottish accent were definitely a bonus.
“Apparently so!” Miri laughed, her breasts bouncing up and down in that tight corset. “Tell you what: I’ll toast with ya.”
Miri poured Winston’s Jack and Coke and the umpteenth cranberry vodka of the night. But like the mystical fairy creature she was, she garnished her drink with a handful of blueberries, a splash of lemon juice, and a basil leaf.
“Seventy-nine,” Winston randomly said as they clinked glasses across the bar.
“Seventy-nine. I reckon that’s how many freckles you have on your face.”
“Ah...well, let’s see. I've never counted before. But on my whole body? Well...we’re definitely in quadruple digits.” Miri leaned in close, the scent of gin and spearmint on her breath. “If you want to take me to my room and count them, I can do 150 an hour. That is, if you’re a fast counter.”
Winston chuckled, then slipped something into her henna-tattooed hand. “I mighty appreciate it. But I’d rather ya tell me a little bit about this place. Thinkin’ about pledging.” A lie, of course.
Without missing a beat, Miri slapped a bag of blue-and-white cocaine on the bar. “Tell ya what: you try ours and I’ll try yours.” Right in front of everyone, she opened the bag of red-and-what cocaine and split it into lines.
Winston’s jaw dropped. It was all coming together in his slow-churning mind. Taggart and ABK had been gathering intel to corner the entire fucking college cocaine market. While Miri dropped her head to do a line, Winston slipped his rival’s cocaine into his pocket. All right, I’ve got what I came for. No thanks to Twinston. Time to report back to Ryan.
“Yo, the concert’s over but the night has just fucking begun!” Clyde announced on the mic. “Ladies only: get your asses to the center of the dance floor. You know what time it is!”
Miri’s head shot up from her third line of cocaine. She released an orgasmic Scottish moan. Then, this mystical fairy pranced into the center of the room, spun on her heel, and gave a curtsey in her outfit.
What the hell is going on? Winston thought, sipping his whiskey. He reached into his back pocket for a napkin and felt something else instead. Slowly, he held Gigi’s lacy yellow panties in front of his face. Miri, how the hell did you put this in my pocket without me noticing? Hell, I reckon this bitch is a fairy after all.
“DJ, hit the music!” Clyde commanded. Fergie’s “London Bridge” blared through the speakers and rang across Greek Row. The tipsy Miri swayed her hips to the violent bass beat, shedding her wings. Applause erupted from the crowd.
“Now just what are we to do about this corset?” Miri cooed, puckering her lower lip.
“Take it off!” the brothers chanted. And she did. Winston instantly realized that her “1000-freckles” estimate was correct.
“Lose that skirt!” the crowd commanded.
Winston nervously tapped his foot. Not because he was afraid of seeing a naked woman. That road was heavily-traveled and full of potholes. But Miri was drunk, and nobody was doing a damn thing about it. She hooked her thumbs beneath her pink-and-blue skirt and pulled it down to her ankles. No underwear, and a hundred more freckles on Winston’s scoreboard.
“Make yourself decent, moron!” Winston called out, sling-shotting the yellow panties across the room to Miri. She reached up and caught them, red-eyed high and shit-faced drunk. “These…these aren’t mine. But they sure are cute!”
What?! Who the fuck do they belong to then? And why the fuck were they in my pocket?!
Regardless, Miri slipped into the tight panties. She gave a polite curtsy and fluttered away through the kitchen and out the back door.
“Yo, what the fuck man?” Clyde raged as he watched the action from his wheelchair. “You fuckin’ scared her off! DJ, cut the music!”
Fergie stopped singing and all eyes fell on Winston. He took a deep breath and boldly stepped into the center of the dance floor. “She was fucking wasted, partner. Are y’all really gonna make her do all that?”
“It doesn’t fucking matter,” Clyde seethed. “It’s Friday: we drink, and Miri strips. She’s a whore. And that’s what whores do. Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? S-s-somebody take off his mask!”
But Winston removed his own mask and tossed it on the floor. There he was: invading ABK just as the phony Mississippian Taggart had invaded BDE.
“Leave it to a Beta to look for pussy at an Alpha’s party!” Clyde jeered over the mic. “Can you all believe this white-knight faggot tried to stand up for a fuckin’ whore?”
Winston couldn’t resist a comeback. It was too easy. “At least I can actually stand, you fucking cretin.”
Every single hand covered a gasping mouth. Winston turned and walked into the kitchen, building up to a sprint out the back door. Rabid yells from behind as he cut across BDE’s back yard, dashing past rows of trees and street lights to the end of Greek Row. At the dimly-lit street sign, he collapsed into the grass.
Winston, ya done fucked up now.
“Yo, you okay, bro?” somebody called out.
Winston looked up and saw two douchey frat boys carrying acoustic guitars. Before he could get up, one of them had already hoisted him to his feet. He winced as he put pressure on a sprained ankle.
“You had way too much, my man!” Guitar Guy 1 said. “And it’s not even nine yet. Gotta pace yourself!”
“Yeah, man,” agreed Guitar Guy 2, brushing grass off Winston’s shoulder. “Hey, why don’t you come with us to Alpha Beta Kappa’s party? I hear our president’s band is fuckin’ killing it tonight.”
Winston felt his soul leave his body. Suddenly, Guitar Guy 1’s phone rang.
“Hello?” Guitar Guy 1 answered his phone. “Hey, what’s up, Clyde. Yeah, yeah, we’re almost there. We’ve got our guitars and...huh? Oh shit, you talking ‘bout the guy dressed like a cowboy? Yeah, man, he’s right here. Drunk as fuck, I’ll tell ya h’what. Wait, what? He said what to you? No, fuck that. FUCK. THAT! Yeah, man, we’re gonna take care of him right the fuck now!”
Winston slowly backed up to the street sign, a hot pain searing through his ankle. Running was out of the question.
“You so much as move, we aim for the head,” said Guitar Guy 2, shouldering his weapon.
Winston placed his back to the street sign and sank to a seated position. He looked up at the fretted assailants. Not with fear, but with acceptance. “I know all about your frat’s cocaine operation. And all I gotta say: I’m gonna run it into the motherfuckin’ ground.”
Guitar Guy 1 went for a cross slice, cracking the guitar against Winston’s head. He bled before he hit the grass in a fetal position. His body convulsed in a seizure.
“Yo, no face shots!” Guitar Guy 2 screamed, kicking Winston in the ribs to vent his frustration. He brought his ax above his head and hammered down on his gut. Winston released the death cry of a wounded gazelle. But instead of delivering that final blow, the Guitar Guys looked at one another and nodded. Then, they dropped their pastel board shorts and proceeded to piss on Winston’s wounds from head to toe.
“Look at the sign and tell me what the fuck it says, cuck!” Guitar Guy 1 yelled, stomping his face with his boat shoes one last time. They zipped up their shorts and ran off. A groaning Winston wiped his bloody, sopping-wet face and looked up at the sign. Crenshaw Ave. Just like his father’s legacy, Clyde was here to stay.
Winston blacked out.
It wasn’t rape. It was my choice. It wasn’t rape. It was my choice. It. Was. My choice.
Gigi stared at her reflection in the dorm room mirror. Tears and mascara flowed down her face, streaking her cleavage and her wrinkled gown. With fumbling hands, she unwrapped a Plan B Morning-After Pill and slipped it between her dry, chapped lips. She cupped some water into her hand and swallowed, gripping the edges of the sink as she looked back at the defiled girl in the mirror. Hours earlier, she had been pure. Now, she stank of sweat, Walmart-brand musk, and a stranger’s bodily fluids. It was only when Twinston had taken off his mask that she’d realized she had made love to a man she did not know.
Only minutes to midnight. Soon, the wrinkled evening gown would disappear, and Gigi would be reduced to dirty rags and cloths. “This...this is certainly the kind of dress I would want to die in,” she told her reflection, forcing a smile as she permitted tears to flow freely.
A fall from the seventh story would surely kill Gigi. She envisioned her mangled corpse on the gnarled roots below. Then, she feverishly latched onto something to keep her alive for one more day.
Froyo! Tomorrow was the grand opening of the local frozen yogurt joint. I’ll get to choose my favorite sugary toppings to pile on my watermelon sorbet. But tonight, I didn't choose to have sex with that man. It was not. My. Fault.
Gigi’s phone rang. It was Sarah. “Gigi, get your ass down to the third floor - quick!
Gigi flew down the stairs, tripping over a few drunk students in the process. She stood in the doorway of Room 309, where a bloodied cowboy lay his head in Sarah’s lap. Tai sat on the futon, handing Sarah gauze and rubbing alcohol from the first aid kit.
“Gigi,” Winston mumbled. He lifted his head, then set it back down as he erupted into a coughing fit. “You look...great. Not as sexy as my sister though. But I’m from the South, so it’s family first. Roll tide...”
Sarah and Gigi smiled weakly, seeing how Winston was slowly returning back to normal. But Gigi’s smile turned to shock as she got a closer look at his face. One eye was swollen shut and bleeding from the corner. A large knot on his head oozed pus, even as Sarah frequently dabbed it with a tissue. His twitching body hinted at the lacerations and bruises beneath his bloody t-shirt. And through Winston’s smile, he was missing a bottom tooth.
“Everybody fucking leave!” Gigi exploded, dropping to her knees and laying her head on Winston’s chest. He winced at first, but slowed his breathing as she held his hand. She sobbed her eyes out, soaking Winston’s shirt and beard.
“Gigi, look,” Tai said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Winston needs all of us right now. Not just-”
Gigi fetched the 22-caliber pistol from her purse and slammed it on the tile floor. “I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT!”
Winston’s heart raced as Gigi squeezed his hand with all her might. “It’s all my fault,” she whispered, as if they were already alone. “If only I let you keep your gun, you could have defended yourself.”
“Buddy, that just ain’t plum-fuckin’ true. Ain’t nobody’s fault but mine. I talked shit and got hit.”
Sarah and Tai quietly slipped out the door, most likely to count their fake ID earnings.
Gigi positioned Winston’s head on her lap and ran her small hands through his messy brown hair. “This ain’t the first time you caught me covered in piss. Reckon it won’t be the last.”
Gigi giggled. “I’ll...I’ll be here all night to protect you.” She clutched the gun with one hand and ran her fingers through his hair with the other. “And we can wash your hair in the morning.”
“Thanks, buddy. I reckon I done gots me a few enemies now. So...ya ain’t gonna let the piss fairies sneak in and give me a golden shower...are ya?”
“I...I won’t let you down!” Gigi laughed, gripping the gun. “And if the pee bandits come around here, I’ll politely escort their hind keisters a third-of-a-dozen floors north, where their skin shall bubble under the 100 Kelvin internal temperature of our antiquated heating and cooling apparatus!”
“Shit,” Winston moaned, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. “If they don’t fix your AC sooner or later...you may have to move down here and live with me.”
While Winston rested, Gigi stood watch all night. She forgot all about what Twinston had done to her. Misery loved company. And while Gigi never wished for anything bad to happen to Winston, his timing couldn’t have been better.
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2020.09.01 20:37 ohloveandbees Somebody 2 (썸바디 2) E03 191101

Hi guys! Thank you for all the words of encouragement so far~ Our team has completed a new episode. We hope you enjoy our release! This is our first release for Season 2!

Description of the show

Somebody is like a dating show with an interesting twist; the contestants are all dancers. They are from various styles of dance: ballet, street dance, Korea traditional, etc. Their mission is to try to meet a right partner for both art and love. Each of them has a unique personality and different reason to find love. But they are dancers; they know how to convey emotion through movement of the body. Observing the complex 'Some' between them, the show will make us appreciate some addictive stories of romance.


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2020.08.26 19:40 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #5: "I'm a Beleaver"

Wednesday, August 26th, 2020
After a ten-day cheese binge, Gigi had gained ten pounds.
That didn’t stop Frank, the Italian Stallion, from picking her up and pinning her to the dorm room wall. They began making out in their underwear for the first time.
“Um...do you have a condom?” Gigi whispered as Frank lifted her up.
“But soft, my dear! Why, I carry the finest lambskins in the land. Made from the intestines of the most supple virgin sheep.”
Frank squeezed her thighs while sliding his tongue down her throat. But after holding her up for so long, his arms began to tremble.
“Maybe we can take it on the bed?” Gigi laughed nervously. “I guess I’m well on the way to the Freshman 15. Woo-hoo!”
Frank tossed the 130-pound Gigi onto the beanbag chair. He straddled her, reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra.
“On second thought, maybe not,” Gigi mouthed, gently pushing his hands away.
“But ask you did - did you not?”
“I...I like you, Frank,” Gigi admitted. “But on a sweaty bean bag chair in a dorm room? It’s...not what I have in mind for my first time!”
“Woe is me! Alas, my sexual and culinary advances remain unrequited.”
Sure enough, Frank was supposed to have cooked dinner for Gigi that previous Friday. But once she’d found out lasagna was on the menu, Gigi had promptly faked the flu. Following her secret cheese dinner with Winston, she had secretly sampled nearly every type of cheese in Buncombe County. And cottage cheese, an ingredient in Frank’s lasagna, was her least favorite. Hard pass.
Gigi slipped into her tight blue jeans and white Beavers hoodie. “Um...looks like I shall depart for class!”
“Next time, shall I conduct myself differently?”
Gigi smiled meekly. “Come as you are, Frank. We’ll try sex again in three months!”
On the 300 Hall, a naked Claire stood handcuffed to the top bunk from behind. She bit her shoulder to muffle her moan as a shiver rattled her body. An also-naked Winston stood up from his knees.
“Mmm...let’s, like, totally do it already!” Claire panted, sweat dripping down her bangs.
It would be Winston’s and Claire’s first time. And he had planned ahead with the help of a little blue pill. “Ah, right,” he grunted. “I reckon I’ll go get a Jimmy hat.”
Winston opened his desk drawer, reminded that his prized fake ID collection was missing. Whoever took it, your ass is grass, Winston thought. Then, while Claire wasn’t looking, he popped a Cialis in his mouth - his second pill in an hour. For good measure, he cracked open a can of Red Bull and chugged.
“Wow,” Claire cooed, looking down at it. “You must be, like, getting ready for a bonafide marathon with me!”
“Your satisfaction is 100% guaranteed or your money back, ma’am.”
But as soon as Winston opened Claire’s legs, it happened.
A metric fuck-ton of caffeine and testosterone coursed through his veins. His pulse sank from one head to another. Target locked: Claire. She gasped in surprise. And Winston’s fragile ego, along with something else, deflated.
“Hashtag OMG,” Claire whispered, more embarrassed than Winston. “It’s, like, totally okay! It looks like we, like, had a little too much foreplay.”
Winston, dead-eyed and stone-faced, put on an old pair of Wrangler jeans and a red flannel. “I...need to give a presentation for class.”
“Oh! Like, good luck! Do you think you can, like, get me a towel?”
Winston grabbed his damp, musky shaving towel and tossed it to Claire. “Wait!” Claire called out as Winston stepped into the hallway. “You forget the-”
The door slammed.
“-Handcuff key.” Alone in Winston’s room, she stared at the key on his desk. “Hey, Siri!” she called out to her iPhone. “Call the Italian Stallion on speaker.”
Frank answered. “Ah, Claire: the woman with fire in thy loins. Shan’t you be in class at this time?”
“You’re, like, too silly! Mornings are for sobering up, not classing. Anywho, Winston I and totally ended our morning...prematurely.”
“Methinks you and Winston hath made more progress than Gigi and yours truly.”
“Aw, you poor thing!” Claire teased, sticking out her lower lip. “Tell you what. My hands are, like, tied right now. Hashtag literally! Wanna come up to Winston’s room and take advantage of me?”
At 8 AM Econ class, Jacky, Tai, Sarah, and Evelyn sat in the back of the massive lecture hall. While the professor rambled on about exponential growth, Jacky flipped through the binder of fake IDs.
“On the real, we’re not selling fake IDs,” Jacky declared, pulling out an one that favored the Latina teaching assistant. “We’re selling freedom, the way God always intended it.”
“Well put, Cali,” said Sarah. “Looks like you’ve dethroned Frank as the poet in our posse.”
“Whoa, let’s not get crazy,” Tai chuckled. “Unlike us peasants, Francisco is a Sicilian king.”
“If you love him so much, why don’t you just marry him, broseph,” Jacky snapped. Tai looked down like a shameful dog. Jacky held his grey-eyed stare like an Olympian. Finally, he burst out into laughter. “I’m just dogging you, scaredy-cat! Gotta keep you on your toes or this college junk will get stale.”
“College fucking sucks,” Evelyn chimed in, cranking the volume on her Mickey Avalon song. “It’s all a scam.”
The charismatic Jacky swiped an ID of a girl who looked like a preppy version of Evelyn. “Sounds like you need a new perspective, dudette. In college, you can be anybody you want to be. On the real, that’s why in the past 10 days, I’ve sold 25 IDs alone.”
Tai raised his eyebrows. “Twenty-fucking five? Not too shabby.”
“Oh, did I say 25? I meant that I sold 25 IDs to people in this room alone. Heck, the real total is somewhere around...200.”
Their jaws were on the floor. Jacky pulled out a roll of 100-dollar bills from his cargo shorts. He fanned the cash, then divvied a few bills to each of them.
“That’s 500 apiece each,” Jacky declared. “Just as a show of good faith that this operation won’t be a waste of our time.”
“Holy shit,” Sarah whispered, stuffing the money in her purse. “That’s almost enough goddamn cash for...half a textbook!”
“True that, but God’s last name is not damn,” Jacky hissed.
“Wait, how much money have you made so far?” Tai asked, reaching down and holding Jacky’s hand.
Plenty more,” Jacky whispered, inviting them to get close. “Look at all of God’s lost sheep in this room. Investing all this time and money to make this kind of money appear. Heck, we can do it much faster, dude and dudettes. We can take our operation straight to Beleavers.”
Jacky was referring to the Methodist youth group that met in the Chadwick Learning Center each Wednesday. Students of all faiths, colors, creeds, and M.O.’s were welcome - if only for the campus-renowned free popcorn.
“Ugh, organized religion is a farce,” Evelyn groaned, putting her headphones back in.
“Then you should have no problem taking their money,” Sarah said, yanking her earbud out.
“Exactamundo,” Jacky declared as the professor dismissed class. “Just picture all those students walking around with Mommy and Daddy’s tithe money. All we need to do is earn their business. Let’s get there early tonight and set up a vendor table. Sarah, Evelyn: we need a front. What can you sell?”
“I can sell my collection of human bones from my graveyard raids,” Evelyn offered casually.
They all stared at Evelyn in silence. “H-how about we make homemade bath bombs instead?” Sarah suggested casually.
“Perfect,” Jacky declared. “Tai and I will go to the dorm kitchen and whip up some baked goods. They’ll come for the snacks and leave with new identities.”
“Gravy,” Sarah said, flashing a peace sign. “Now, Evelyn and I have a rematch to settle.”
“Mario Kart?” Tai asked.
“Nah, grappling on the quad.” Sarah snatched Evelyn in a headlock and tickled her stomach. Evelyn burst out laughing, then tapped out. The two friends left the lecture hall.
“On the real, your hippie friend has a lot of nerve leading her on like that,” Jacky said, packing up his books.
“Eh, Sarah’s made it clear that she doesn’t like girls. Or...anybody for that matter.”
“Well, from one gay to another: Sarah’s full of horse crap.”
“Dude, they’re friends! And Evelyn’s not holding out for anything more.”
Jacky cocked his head as the last few students left the lecture hall. “What about us, Tai? Are we just friends?”
Tai leaned in to kiss him. Jacky kissed back harder, slipping his hand beneath Tai’s nylon shorts. Tai tossed his head back, pacing his breaths.
“Try to hold out as long as you can,” Jacky whispered, nibbling his neck. “I don’t want this to end…prematurely.”
“Hold out, huh?” Tai moaned between breaths. “Fuck...guess I gotta...uh, think about Evelyn the demon or something. That’s a turnoff...uh, am I right?”
“Seriously?” Jacky mumbled. “I’m trying to please you, and you’re gonna talk about another woman? Just stop talking.”
My boyfriend’s a hard nut to crack, Tai thought. Yes, it was true that Jacky had been a cocky, jealous, holier-than-thou douche during the whole class. He’s shallow. But God, his hand feels so good. So Tai let Jacky California finish. And afterward, Tai felt like the shallow one. For letting somebody kiss, caress, and fondle him when he knew for damn sure that they had nothing in common.
“And in conclusion,” said a female brunette. “That’s why multicultural cuisine is integral to improving the health of obese Americans in our nation. Thank you!”
“Delightful,” exclaimed Dr. Cartwright: Winston’s female Public Speaking professor. The student thanked her, then returned to her desk in the small Learning Center classroom. Today’s topic: Describe how multiculturalism has changed your life.
“Next up: Winston Beavers,” Dr. Cartwright announced. “Ah, quite a fitting last name, if I do say so myself.”
“Much obliged, ma’am.” Winston tipped his cowboy hat. “No one liked my last name until I became a student at South App.” He walked to the front of the classroom carrying two large foam boards.
“Oh! Somebody chose to use props, I see.”
“I was always a visual learner myself.” Winston set the foam boards up on tripods. “Ever since I was a little shit...um, I mean child, I always had a knack for pictures instead of words. I reckon ain’t much changed since then.”
“That’s very...insightful, Winston. Please begin whenever you’re ready.”
Two huge images were printed on the foam boards. One was a high-res photo of a revolver. The other was a simple stock photo of a 3-ring binder.
“Ladies and gents, when I enrolled last month, two precious items were stolen from me.” Winston pulled out a cigarette and pointed at each of the photos. “Exhibit A: my Colt Single Action Army revolver, gifted to me by my daddy. And Exhibit B: a top-secret binder, gifted to me by the fine folks from Beta Delta Epsilon.”
“Who’s got big dicks? We’ve got big dicks!” chanted a few BDE pledges in the back of the class.
“Don’t you forget it. Uh, anyway, I say all this to say: multiculturalism has impacted my life because it was statistically somebody of a certain race who stole these items from me.”
“Mister Beavers, I must stop you as this is highly inappropriate!” blurted out the professor’s teaching assistant.
“Let...let him continue,” Dr. Cartwright muttered, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Mister Beavers, I do presume you have...dare I say, a valuable theme in your speech?”
“I humbly assure you, I do,” replied Winston tipping his cowboy hat. “I reckon you’re gonna wanna listen to what I’m fixin’ to say.”
Down at the other end of the Student Center, Gigi donned goggles and rubber gloves while she weighed silver nitrate powder on a scale.
“Everybody make sure that your scale is switched to grams!” cautioned Dr. Spivey: a wild white-haired mad scientist. “And before anybody asks: no, I will not help you cook meth in an RV! I will, however, give you a list of Asheville’s finest marijuana dealers...for a price.”
Gigi added the powder to a volumetric flask. Then, she unzipped her bookbag and grabbed a bottle of distilled water. She slowly poured the water into the flask, swirling the mixture around.
“Smart, smart, smart!” Dr. Spivey praised Gigi. “Why, I see somebody brought their own water. Now, I think I know why. But please humor me.”
“Gladly!” Gigi obliged, swirling the flask until the silver nitrate dissolved completely. “Well, Professor, I opted to access my personal inventory in hopes of bypassing a lengthy dihydrogen monoxide queue! Translation: look at that line!”
Sure enough, a long line of students stood with flasks in hand, waiting to use the tap of distilled water. Dr. Spivey flipped through his attendance roster. “Ah, you’re my pre-dental student: Ji-hye.” He pronounced it incorrectly as Gee-Hi.
“Oh, it’s actually pronounced Gee-Hey. But my real name’s caused so much...um, confusion that most people call me Gigi now.”
“I see. That’s quite unfortunate. Having to change your name all because of someone else.”
Before Gigi could respond, a frat boy called out to the professor. “Hey, Walter White! I’ll pay ya a hundred bucks for a list of all your dealers. Come on, bubba, that’s like half your salary!”
Dr. Spivey sighed and feigned annoyance. “Ah, these kids and their shrewd business exchanges. Guess I better entertain their shenanigans. Keep up the diligence, Ji-hye.” That time, he pronounced it correctly.
After Dr. Spivey left, a nerdy hipster girl tapped Gigi’s shoulder. “Hey, check this out.” The girl raised her cardigan sleeve to reveal a dark silver nitrate tattoo. Fuck Landsharks. It was the South App Beavers’ rival mascot.
“I...fully approve this message!”
“Here, try one on you before the professor gets back.” The girl handed Gigi a paintbrush.
“Neat!” Gigi replied as if accepting party pills for the first time. “But what to write?” She stared at her class schedule, where her name was also listed as “Ji-hye Moon.” Maybe...I should get used to using my real name again.
Gigi pulled up her hoodie sleeve and dipped the brush into the silver nitrate solution. Just then, the professor summoned everybody back to their desks for discussion. “Ji-hye, Ji-hye, Ji-hye,” she repeated, quickly painting a tattoo on the inside of her left hand.
Gigi rushed back to her desk. Dr. Spivey laughed at the class, his white hair sprawling in all directions. “Fools! I saw what you did. Now, let this be a lesson in commitment. Because silver nitrate tattoos take a week to fade. Now...who wants to show me theirs? Or shall I start calling names?”
Goosebumps rose on the back of Gigi’s neck. Not because her tattoo was semi-permanent, but because she was surely about to be the center of attention. But after a moment of tension, the professor simply dismissed class. Gigi bolted out the door. “So long, Ji-hye!” his voice echoed down the hall.
Shit, did he see my tattoo? Gigi picked up the pace, bumping into students who filed out of the Learning Center classrooms. Around the corner, she heard the grinding of coffee beans and frothing of whole milk. She would soon reach safety at Doppio Coffee Shop...
“Whaaa-oomph!” Gigi gasped, slipping on a banana peel. She landed flat on her back, sending her notebook and loose papers flying.
“Whoa, are you okay?” asked a short Indian guy as he rushed to Gigi’s aid. He helped her to her feet. “Yo, did you get that on video?” he asked another Indian, who ran up with a video camera. “Hey, Miss, it was just a social experiment! See, we’re from the South App Social Club. Hey, are you listening? It was just a prank, bro!”
A mentally-drained Gigi kneeled down to collect her supplies. It was only when Gigi reached down to collect her papers that she read the tattoo on her hand. And it did not read Ji-hye...
“WINSTON?!” her voice cracked.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” mumbled a young cowboy, hunched over a large caramel frappuccino. “Are ya that surprised to find me here?”
Winston was sitting at Doppio Coffee Shop. Gigi hurriedly pulled down her hoodie sleeves past her fingertips. She balled the draping sleeves over her fists, concealing the palms of her hands. Then, she walked over to Winston as if she didn’t look like a complete-
“You look like a complete dork!” Winston chuckled.
“Oh! I was...uh, cold,” Gigi lied. She held up her balled-up fists like a panda bear. “See, I made my own gloves!”
Winston snatched her right wrist, then placed it palm-down on the counter. He reached into his pocket for a dull, rusty Swiss Army Knife.
“So what we wanna do is make a quick little incision where the thumb is right here.” Winston cut a small hole in the sleeve. Carefully, he guided her thumb through the hole to create a mitten of sorts for her small hand.
“Now, let’s do your left hand.”
Gigi’s heart skipped a beat as he grabbed her tattooed left hand and lay her palm on the table. Don’t look at my tattoo, don’t look at it, don’t look at it!
“Ugh, damn blade’s straight-up fucked,” Winston scoffed. “Must’ve been that buck I skinned.”
“Eek! That’s so gross! Have you at least washed it?” Don’t look at it, don’t look at it, don’t look at it!
Winston ignored her question. “Here, let me see your palm so I can-”
For the love of all that is sacred and holy, don’t look at it, don’t look at it, DON’T LOOK AT IT!
“I have to poop!” Gigi blurted out.
Winstons let go of Gigi’s hand. He and everybody else stared in disbelief. Of course, she was lying. It’s not even what she meant to say. But Gigi took that baton and ran a country mile. “Um...it appears that most sharp cheeses give me constipation. But ever since I ate all those mozzarella sticks, I have major runs!”
Gigi stood up, crossed her arms, and bowed. Then, she skittered off to the restroom - her secret safe in her left hand.
A preppy guy and girl walked up behind the dumbfounded Winston. “Yo, country boy needs to teach his lady friend some manners, am I right?” The guy looked around, trying to rally the cafe customers for support. “That’s one thing I hate about this liberal town. What a fuckin’ dyke.”
A storm brewed in Winston’s head. But he kept it bottled up inside. He chuckled instead, placing a hand on the guy’s shoulder. A pause. Suddenly, Winston yanked him into a headlock, holding the pocket knife to his crotch. His girlfriend shrieked like a mouse, while the young man raised his trembling hands.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” the guy yelled.“T-take it easy, man! I was just-”
“Now listen here, partner.” Winston applied pressure with his blade. “I’ve had my share of good days. Matter fact, they’ve been a dime a dozen. But I reckon I’ve had my share of bad days too. And this right here is one of them bad days.” Winston motioned at the paper next to his drink. “See that-there paper over there? That’s the speech I just gave in front of a crowd of SJWs. And you wanna know what the teacher gave me? D-fuckin’-minus.”
“I’m...s-s-sorry,” the preppy guy whimpered.
“Yeah, me too,” Winston grumbled, using his knife to flick off the button on the guy’s board shorts.
“Somebody, do something!” the guy’s air-headed girlfriend cried.
And on cue, a thin brown liquid ran down the preppy guy’s legs. It seeped into his white Champion socks and stained his off-brand boat shoes. The putrid smell hit the gasping, coughing patrons.
Satisfied, Winston shoved the guy into his girlfriend’s arms. “I reckon you best wash up, partner.” Whispers and murmurs in the crowd while the preppy boy limped toward the men’s bathroom. “Hol’ up. I reckon you best make your way to the female bathroom. Matter fact, all bathrooms are gender-neutral around these parts. And while you’re in there, you can apologize to that so-called dyke from earlier. Tell her Winston Motherfucking Beavers sent you.”
With anguish and defeat in his eyes, the lady entered the female bathroom. Satisfied, Winston gathered his things and decided that it was time to get the fuck out of there. But when he turned around to leave, a thunderous applause erupted behind him like an action movie explosion. Winston smiled mischievously. For the first time since he enrolled, he finally belonged.
Suddenly, Winston slipped on the banana feel and landed square on his elbow. “Oh, shit!” exclaimed the Indian student, running to his side. “Are you okay, man?”
Frank shivered on top of Claire as she dug her nails into his back. He lay there for a moment, his breath ragged. Then, he rolled off, breathing heavily on Winston’s top bunk. He slipped off the latex condom and tossed it into an empty cheese ball can on Winston’s bunk.
“Alas, thou hadst sucketh the chi from my body and-”
“Remember, like, no talking!” Claire reminded him condescendingly. She pulled the covers over her breasts, opened Instagram, and took a duck-face selfie.
“Ah, perhaps you didn’t get a chance to c-”
“Like, no.” Claire casually added a rabbit-ear filter and snapped a pic. “But that’s, like, totally okay...I guess.”
Frank transformed from Shakespeare to Sherlock, scanning Winston’s filthy bachelor bedspread for something. Anything. There were cigarette butts, saltine crumbs, half a stick of butter, Fun Dip packages with only the dip missing, a whole uneaten chicken wing, piss in a Sprite bottle, a Happy Meal box with a dead rat inside, three leaking D Batteries, and Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Finally, Frank grabbed a nearly-empty can of whipped cream. He yanked the covers off the naked Claire and sprayed a line from her collarbone to navel. Now, he had Claire’s full, undivided attention. She slowly looked down at the runny mess that pooled into her belly button. Then, she gave him the hungriest bedroom eyes Frank had ever seen.
“If you’re, like, going to play with your food, then you better totally clean up after yourself.”
Frank and Claire proceeded to do unthinkable things in that bed. And Winston’s top bunk held on by faith and faith alone. Finally, they collapsed next to one another. Two sweaty messes bathing in afterglow. Afterward, they snuck into the men’s shower where they agreed on two things. One: they were going to burn that mattress out of respect for Winston. And two: they were going to have sex at Beleavers that night.
“Look here, you little bitch!”
Evelyn grabbed the young, black cheerleader’s collar and pulled her across the table, showing her fangs.
“W-whoa!” the cheerleader stammered. “Chill out! I’m...sorry.”
“Sorry about what?”
The girl panned from Evelyn to Sarah, Tai, and Jacky. “I’m...uh, sorry for asking you if you were selling tickets to a Marilyn Manson concert.”
“Apology accepted!” Sarah cheered on Evelyn’s behalf. She pointed at the assorted bath bombs for sale in the Learning Center Ballroom. “Everything you see here is between 10 and 15. If you have a sweet tooth, the fine gents to my right are selling yummy cookies and banana bread. Or…” Sarah pulled out the sacred BDE binder and placed it on the table. “Between you and me, we’re selling fake IDs.”
“Yeah!” Tai said. “There’s a few young ladies in there who have a mocha complexion almost as rich as yours!”
Jacky elbowed Tai in the ribs. Tai sucked in a breath, while his boyfriend acted as nothing had just happened. My boyfriend is jealous over fuckin’ everything.
The cheerleader looked over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear. Then, she flipped through the pages as if she was dress shopping. “They contain the new state watermark and everything!” Sarah informed her customer. “We accept only cash at the moment. They cost-”
“A hundred, dudette,” Jacky interjected. Sarah gave him a worrisome side-eye at the exorbitant price. But as expected, the rich cheerleader pulled out the bills and handed them over.
“Oh, that makeup actually makes your eyes pop - no cap,” the cheerleader told Evelyn, before disappearing into the Beleavers crowd with her fake ID.
“Mission accomplished!” Jacky cheered. They had managed to pull off just over 100 sales: 7500 bucks split four ways. Now, it was time to close up shop for the night. Soon, the Christian rock band would take the stage to celebrate God in a room full of students with brand new identities.
“Come on, Tai,” Jacky said, smiling warmly. “Let’s grab some popcorn. I have somebody I want you to meet.”
Tai waved at the girls as they watched them leave.
“I...really don’t know what to make of Jacky,” Sarah admitted. “A few weeks ago, I tracked him down across campus because I thought he was smoking hot. I mean, he still is. But still…”
“He’s a fucking fake,” Evelyn fumed. “That holier-than-thou douchelord can sit on a tack.”
“Whoa, sounds like you need to relieve some stress,” Sarah chuckled, punching Evelyn’s arm. “Why don’t we head to the quad and settle our tie-breaker?”
At that, Sarah and Evelyn left for one last grappling match to end them all.
Winston and Gigi approached the Ballroom entrance, where thumping Christian rock rattled the door.
“So...are you a Christian or are you here for the popcorn?” Winston asked.
“A little bird told me that it is pretty tasty!” Gigi admitted sheepishly.
“And I reckon that little bird was Frankie?”
“Yes, actually! He’s supposed to meet me here. But...I haven’t heard from him in a few hours.”
“Ah. Same with Claire.”
Just like last week’s restaurant date, Gigi and Winston had been once again ghosted by their lovers. It had become a running meme at this point.
“M-maybe their bus is running late?” Gigi suggested, failing to convince even herself.
“Hey, while we’re meddlin’ in conspiracy theories, I’ve got one too. See, Frankie likes to cook. And I’mma bet he’s with Claire, baking her a fresh, homemade cream-”
Gigi clamped her hand over Winston’s mouth. Gigi’s pupils said it all. So he opted to lay off the jokes. Neither either of them really believed their lovers were sneaking around with each other.
Winston opened the ballroom door and promptly caught an elbow to the temple.
“Oomph!” Winston groaned. Gigi slouched against the wall for safety. The scene was no Sunday morning gospel band. This was a Christian hardcore band. And they had just walked into a mosh pit.
“W-Winston!” Gigi yelled over the screamo vocals. But among the flurry of flailing super-Christians, Winston had vanished. Gigi bent her knees and jumped as high as she could, searching for his cowboy hat in the crowd. Suddenly, a punk-rock girl came up from behind and lifted her into the air.
“She’s tryin’ to go surfing!” the girl yelled, heaving her into the crowd like a FedEx package. Gigi gasped before landing into a sea of open hands. This “wave” slowly guided her through the spazzing strobe lights and fog.
Suddenly, an anonymous hand grazed her breast, then very deliberately squeezed it. “W-whaaa!?” Gigi pulled her knee to her stomach, then kicked the culprit square in the face.
“You bitch!” the fondler yelled psychotically, cupping a hand over his bleeding nose. “Throw this fucking slut overboard!” And, in unison, the moshers raised and lowered her body in their hands. “One, two, three!”
Gigi flew into the air - falling, falling, falling until she crashed into a table of baked goods and bath bombs. Winded, she slipped behind the tablecloth and curled up under the table. The mob raged outside.
“Animals,” Gigi whispered, rubbing her sore breast. Alone in the dark under that table, she wanted to cry. She could only imagine what Winston would have done if she caught that pervert red-handed. Maybe I should have let him keep his gun.
Gigi turned on her phone’s flashlight and looked around. Under the table were several cardboard boxes. One, in particular, was labeled Sarah’s Box O’Fun. Gigi recognized it immediately. On move-in day, she’d watched Sarah unpack a huge bong from that very box. Then, Sarah had dared a drunk Winston to drink the bong water. He did. (“Gigi, meet my brother.”)
This is...Sarah’s table? She’s here at Beleavers tonight? Feeling gutsy, she sifted through the box. On top of the mountain of bath bombs and baked goods, the B.D.E. binder sat there in all its glory. She flipped through pages upon pages of fake IDs. On a scratch sheet of notebook paper: a tally of sales for Sarah, Evelyn, Tai, and Claire. But no Winston. And slowly, her busy brain started to connect the dots.
“Holy balls,” she whispered, snapping the stolen binder shut. She thought about taking it right then and there and returning it to its bearded beast of an owner. But another thought crossed her mind.
I could leave it here and blackmail them for money, Gigi thought. All I have to do is threaten to tell Winston! The decision was set in stone. She left the binder behind and slipped out from under the table. But not before stealing a baseball-sized charcoal bath bomb.
In the popcorn line, safe from the mosh pit, Jacky stood in front of Tai with his back turned. The blonde-haired surfer had been rambling excitedly with an Asian guy for five minutes now. And not once had Jacky thought to introduce him.
“Oh, Tai Maple!” Jacky finally remembered, turning to face him. “This is my friend: Benji. Benji, meet Tai.”
This freckle-faced Asian guy gave a slight bow. Tai immediately knew who he was. In fact, Gigi had given him the full scoop while she and Tai had shared her very first cheese pizza. It had all begun on the day where the freshmen tracked down Jacky in his mail truck. Jacky had mistaken the cross-dressing Gigi with the Benji who now stood before him.
And this Benji was allegedly Jacky’s secret long-time crush.
“Benji, would you please grab us a popcorn?” Jacky asked politely, stepping out of the line. “I need to talk to my friend here...alone.”
“Friend,” Tai echoed, following Jacky like a lost puppy.
“Tai, this is just as hard for me, brother,” Jacky frowned, more condescending than empathetic.
“The hell it is!” Tai blew up, drowned out by the hardcore band. “You had your hand in my pants just a few hours ago! Were you fucking planning on leaving me this whole time? For him?!”
“Tai, listen man. Look, I know everything. When you showed up at the coffee shop, I knew you’d been spying on me long before you met me. I first thought our meeting was a...beautiful coincidence. But all along, you were pulling the wool over my eyes. But that’s okay, brochacho! Because I gave you a chance anyway. See, I wanted to save you from what you are! You’re a liar, bro. But in God’s eyes, we all-”
“I let you take my goddamn virginity!” Tai exploded over the music, his jaw twitching uncontrollably.
A pitiful look from Jacky. “I see. That does complicate things a bit, on the real. Look, you can have a quarter of my earnings from tonight’s sales. And I promise to pray for you every night before-”
“Fuck you and fuck your God! I hope you die in your fucking sleep! I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!”
Tai turned around and walked confidently out of the ballroom, holding his head up high while vertigo weighed it down. But nobody stopped him. And not once did he look back.
Winston limped down the Learning Center hallway with a pounding headache. He struggled to keep his twitching, swollen eye open while passing the empty classrooms. Where he was going, not even he knew. He just had to get far away from that mosh pit.
“Calm, child! You’re quite a fool to be walking around with a concussion!”
Winston turned around. Through his good eye, he saw a large, middle-aged Haitian woman in an African floral dress and headwrap. She held a bible in her large, smooth hands.
“Join us, child,” the woman beckoned, pointing into a classroom of Haitian students in chairs.
Winston smiled weakly, thinking back to his controversial speech from class that morning. “I mighty appreciate it, ma’am. But I reckon I ain’t much worthy.” He turned to walk away, but accidentally stumbled like a drunkard into the woman’s arms.
“Soft, my child,” she soothed him, ushering him into the room of students. “Not one of us is worthy. But there is good news.”
A half-hour later, Winston was sitting in the front row of the Haitian Student Ministry with a bag of frozen peas pressed to his swollen eye. The matriarch, Nadia, was delivering a passionate Psalm 107 sermon to her students.
“Let the one who is wise heed these things,” Nadia read. “And ponder the loving deeds of the Lord. Amen. Now, to conclude, I’d like to introduce our guest: Winston from Beleavers. Please, child, tell us about yourself.”
The young men on either side of Winston gave him a back pat. Winston slowly stood up and tipped his cowboy hat. In his mind, it was his Public Speaking 101 all over again. But in class, he hadn’t been standing in front of all-black students. Like he was now.
“Well, like I told Nurse Nadia earlier. I don’t feel like I’m worthy among y’all fine folks here. I mighty appreciate Nadia for patching me up. And for y’all’s hospitality.”
Winston headed for the door, but Nadia blocked the exit. “Please, child. Do your sins trouble you? May it ease your soul to know that there are redeemed people in this very room who have committed acts of credit card fraud, gang violence, and even beastiality?”
Winston blinked.
But somehow, Nadia’s words did not repel these people away. They brought them closer. So Winston opened his mouth and confessed what had been brewing in his mind all day.
“Well, uh...today in speech class, I said the N-word. I didn’t mean to be ugly when I said it. Only said it to take power away from it. But I reckon I really hurt a couple of people in that class. The only reason the teacher didn’t ban me from the class was ‘cause she wanted me to learn a lesson this year. And I’m tryin’, Nadia. I’m...tryin’ real hard.”
The students didn’t come forward to comfort Winston, who now choked on tears. But they didn’t back away either. It was only when Nadia lay a hand on him that the other students followed suit.
“It sounds like you have a lot to think on,” Nadia said warmly, as layers of hands covered him. “I wish you luck on your journey. We will always be here whenever Beleavers get a little too...rowdy.”
Nadia and the students led a closing prayer for Winston. He smiled as a rush of dopamine reached the brain. The tears flowed freely, even as he used the bag of frozen peas to dab his face.
“Amen,” Nadia concluded. Everybody left Winston’s side and began stacking chairs.
“Wait,” Winston said, returning to his confident southern drawl. “Let me take care of them-there chairs. It’s...the least this poor white boy can do.”
And so, Winston began folding chairs alone while the others left. And like Jesus on the Via Dolorosa, he began carrying ten chairs down the long hallway toward the supply closet. And like all other men, Winston was hell-bent on making only one trip.
“Winston!” Gigi blurted out as he turned a corner. With his hands full, his black eye had nowhere to hide. Gigi dropped her jaw. Then, her mouth formed a pitiful frown. She kissed her tattoo-free hand and gently pressed her fingertips on Winston’s eyelid.
“One more time,” Winston suggested with a grin.
Gigi hesitantly kissed her hand, then reached for Winston’s eyelid again. Suddenly, Winston playfully bit her hand. “Eek!” Gigi quickly brought her hand to her chest.
“You’re a good woman, Gigi,” Winston chuckled, reflecting on his own moral character. Both of their faces flushed red. He shook his head, arms trembling from the weight they carried. “Look, I gotta put these chairs up. Walk with me.”
Gigi carried four of the chairs. And even then, she lagged behind Winston. “So, what’s the word on Frankie? You find him in that-there mob?”
Gigi shook her head, her long black hair whipping back and forth. “Nope! And Claire?”
“Shit,” Winston said, emotionally detached. “Honestly, I don’t expect to see her ever again.”
“Hmmm...so why don’t they love us anymore?”
“Beats me,” said Winston, as they set their chairs down at the closet door. “But if I was a betting man, I’d wager it’s because you and I seem to be attached at the hip these days.”
“Do you think they don’t trust us together? I mean, as friends?”
“Should they?”
Gigi opened her mouth, then closed it. Then, they quickly reached for the doorknob at the same time. A moment passed, and they did not move their hands. Slowly, her earthy brown eyes met his icy blue ones. Gigi’s tattoo was on fire.
Together, they turned the doorknob. And lo and behold: it was Frank and Claire.
Frank’s pants were around his ankles - all eight inches of uncut glory on full display. Claire was on her knees, snorting an eight-inch line of red-and-white cocaine from root to tip. As soon as they were spotted, Claire frantically wiped her nose while Frank shuffled to button his pants.
“W-w-woe is me!” Frank moaned in despair. “It doth appear that our feline hath escaped its rucksack!”
“Like, no fucking shit, Sherlock!” Claire snapped, brushing the cocaine off her shirt. “Do you ever, like, shut the fuck up? Like, look Winston and Gigi! I promise this is, like, not what it looks like. It was just, like, like, like, like, like-”
Winston and Gigi slowly stared at each other - sly grins on their faces.
“Um...are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Gigi asked Winston cheerfully.
“I sure the hell am, buddy,” Winston answered. They each grabbed a folding chair and approached the pair of adulterers.
A short while later, at dusk, Winston and Gigi sat on the curb of the Chadwick Hughes Learning Center - handcuffed. A fresh-faced, fat officer stood with his arms crossed, staring at the excited pair of criminals.
“So, you mean to tell me you…stabbed this chick with a chair?” the officer asked, dumbfounded.
“Yep!” Gigi piped up, a wide smile plastered on her face. “I managed to wield my melee weapon like a medieval knight, riding with the north winds until that raging thundercunt landed on her assless keister!”
“That was fuckin’ awesome,” Winston said, giving her an elbow bump. “But not as awesome as me crackin’ Frankie’s skull.”
The cop knitted his brows, taking extensive notes. “Alrighty then. Anything else y’all wanna add?”
Gigi and Winston grinned at each other, adrenaline fueling their veins. They had truly saved the best for last.
“Then, I took out my phone,” Winston started. “And I showed them a pic of-”
“He flashed them a pic of him taking my virginity!” Gigi finished proudly. But it was a lie. No, Winston had instead shown the cheaters the photo of Gigi eating cheese for the first time with Winston. And despite being attacked with a chair, that photo had shocked Frank more than anything.
Cop 2 walked over to Cop 1 and whispered something into his ear. Cop 1 nodded and pointed at Jacky and Claire. The pair looked tired and traumatized, and were hugging and consoling each other next to another cop car.
“Y’all got off lucky this time,” Cop 2 jeered. “They ain’t gonna press charges. You must have some deep dirt on ‘em or something.”
He wasn’t wrong. That red-and-white cocaine was Ryan’s signature product. The BDE fraternity circulated that cocaine more widely than Jacky and his fake IDs. And it was a much larger, lucrative operation. In Winston’s eyes, Claire didn’t want to risk Winston snitching in retaliation for being thrown in jail.
“Ladies first,” said Cop 1, helping Gigi off the curb to her feet. He spun her around and unlocked her handcuffs. “What kinda ink job is that?” the cop muttered, reading the silver nitrate tattoo on Gigi’s palm. “Winston...wait a sec. Hey, that’s your name, right?”
Winston cocked his head at the cop’s question. Gigi’s knees trembled as she let out a nervous chuckle. It surely wasn’t the craziest thing to happen that day. But goddamn, would it be hard to explain.
“Gigi, what the hell?” Winston muttered with a blank expression.
“Call me Ji-hye!” Gigi blurted out proudly. Winston shook his head with a smile as he watched her disappear into the Asheville night.
submitted by welcometosouthapp to welcometosouthapp [link] [comments]

2020.08.18 04:22 welcometosouthapp Welcome to South App #4: "Outside 101"

Monday, August 17th, 2020
Winston Beavers was having a very bad day.
It all began at 5 AM when his phone alarm vibrated. He rolled over on his belly and silenced it before it could wake Tai. It was the first day of class, but Winston wasn’t rising early to drink coffee and read the student newspaper. Instead, he grabbed his trusty silk tie and used it to hang his tablet from the sprinkler head. He slipped his headphones on, booted up some porn, and got straight down to business with both hands.
Now his contraption was holding on by faith and faith alone. But Winston paid no mind. He listened to Irish redheads moaning in his ear while he arched his back and curled his toes. And with each passing second, the weight of the tablet began to wear on the old, rusty sprinkler head.
So, when Winston exploded, so did that sprinkler head.
“Fuck!” Winston yelled, choking on a mouthful of rusty water. He tumbled off the top bunk, landing square on his ass. He scrambled to his feet, grabbed a binder from his desk, and rushed out the room - slipping on the puddle on his way out. Tai was already in the hallway, naked and wrapped in a wet blanket.
“What the hell, asshole?!” Tai blurted out, shivering with his laptop and backpack in each hand. “I told you not to jerk off like that!”
“Save your breath, partner,” Winston reassured him. “This here binder is the only important thing in that goddamn room.”
As water seeped into the hallway, Winston reckoned his luck had finally run out. Earlier this week, the Asheville PD had informed him that his prized Single Action Army was nowhere to be found in evidence. But he still had his precious binder, with the letters BDE inscribed on the spine. And when the water was finally shut off, Winston stuffed the binder back in his desk and made Tai pinky swear to keep it a secret.
A few hours later, Tai sat on the sofa in a local Asheville coffee shop with a drink and a bible in front of him.
As your wing-woman, I shall provide some friendly reminders!” Gigi cheerfully told Tai over the phone. “Make sure you’re facing the door so you can see when he comes in. Oh, and remember the order of operations: turn a page, sip your drink, make eye contact. Turn, sip, eyes!
“Uh, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Tai whispered, as sleepy, hungover students filed in.
“I’m setting you up on an impromptu date on a Monday morning, am I not?”
“And have you run this strategy by amateur wingman extraordinaire Winston Beavers?”
Gigi paused. “Winston and I are...no longer on speaking terms. Sorry! I do not consent to any conversation about the aforementioned obnoxious brute whatsoever. Good luck!”
Gigi hung up. So Tai, who had never touched a bible, flipped to Ephesians like Gigi had coached him before. In fact, she’d planned out everything down to the last detail: the NIV version of the bible, the iced caramel macchiato, and the red and white checkerboard Vans he wore.
But Tai’s mind wandered to a more interesting book that he also had not yet read. He wanted to know what the hell was in Winston’s binder.
Suddenly, Jacky California walked into the cafe. Showtime. His 7:30 coffee break was expected. (Gigi found Jacky’s schedule on Facebook, and a quick visit to this cafe before 8 AM Intermediate Spanish just made sense.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Jacky waited in line, wearing a slim-fit red Abercrombie polo, bleached holy jeans, and his prized red and white checkerboard Vans. And his shoe decision, yet again, was also expected. (Gigi discovered that Jacky had only two classes on Monday, influencing his choice in that comfy pair of shoes that he wore in his profile pic). Check. Turn, sip, eyes. When Jacky stepped up to the counter, he ordered an iced caramel macchiato. And, once again, Gigi predicted this move. (Whatever the weather, Jacky’s SoCal roots virtually guaranteed an icy, watered-down coffee approach. Not to mention, nobody drinks hot coffee after sitting in the tanning bed for 30 minutes. Which, according to Gigi’s sleuthing, Jacky partook in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Finally, while waiting for his order, Jacky pulled out his NIV study bible and flipped to the Book of Acts. (This time, Gigi was only partially off-base. His Facebook modeling photos were actually captioned with Ephesians bible verses. Nothing a quick fix couldn’t remedy). So Tai flipped straight to Acts, took a long sip of his macchiato, and made direct eye contact with Jacky as he walked over.
“Bro, this is freakin’ gnarly!” Jacky said in disbelief, pointing out their matching shoes, bible, and drink. “This is some righteous Revelation-level prophecy if I’ve ever seen it. Hey, my name’s Jacky. Is this seat ocupado?”
“Oh no!” Claire exclaimed, stroking Winston's fuzzy beard. “I’m, like, totally sorry about my stud’s mishap this morning!”
“Thank ya, peach pie,” Winston said, shaking his head. “I reckon they’ll move my ass to the broom closet and hang me out to dry.”
Claire and Winston were sitting in the Rec Center courtyard in athletic gear, along with several other hungover students. This was the Outdoors Adventures Seminar, AKA “Outside 101.” For many, it was a breezy way to snag the required Health and Fitness credit hour. And that's exactly why Gigi and Frank were also in this class. They sat on the opposite side of the courtyard, quietly gossipping and shooting the occasional glance their way.
“Your friends over there are, like, totally ignoring us!” Claire piped up, tugging Winston’s sleeve. “That’s, like, so rude.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, puddin’ muffin. They just ain’t ready for us yet.”
“And, like, oh my God! Ryan flat-out told me those are, like, the two people who broke into the frat house and blew up his daddy’s ashes! They are, like, total thugs. Ew!”
“Ah, my sister explained to me that it was a big misunderstanding, bundt cake,” Winston replied, feigning interest.
“Well, you should totally talk some sense to that Asian friend of yours, or else this class is gonna be, like, hella awkward,” Claire suggested. “She has, like, a salt and vinegar chip on her shoulder! It’s, like, totally not my fault that I can pull off a sports bra while she’s wearing those baggy clothes!”
True enough, Gigi and Frank had been giving them the cold shoulder ever since the frat house raid. For Frank, this was because of Winston’s affiliation with Claire Dansby and the notorious fraternity she represented. As for Gigi, it was more simple and personal: the lap dance.
“Ahoy, ladies and germs!” greeted the rugged Australian instructor, decked out in bushman’s gear. “My name is Angus, and I want to welcome ya to Outside 101. While you shop different classes, I indeed hope you’ll choose to spend your semester with us. Today is the Gauntlet Challenge, where we’ll break off into groups and compete for a mighty fine prize!”
With that, Angus hurled an ax at a target behind the students. Bullseye. Everyone stood up to clap and cheer. “Now, everybody come up front and grab yourselves a fine ole’ nametag so we know who you are!”
Winston sprung up and headed for the front of the line. Gigi stood with her back to him, her long black hair draping over her Under Armor tank top. He cleared his throat. “Howdy. Looks like we’re gonna be getting a workout in today. So hey, can I have a word with ya in private?”
She spun around, showing him a forced smile. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t consent to this conversation.”
With that, she grabbed a nametag and wrote “Gigi.” Winston cocked his head. “So, I seem to recall Sarah telling me that you’ve got a South Korean name that only your father calls you.”
“Ah, but what’s in a name anywho?” pondered Frank, stepping forward. “Sir Winston, I wish to extend a sincere congratulations to your acceptance into the Beta Delta Epsilon Sausage Club. And to that brazen bull of a woman under your thumb. Alas, a braver man than me are you!”
Gigi narrowed her eyes at Winston. “You don’t know my real name?” she stated matter-of-factly. “Do you even know me at all?”
Frank and Gigi walked back to their seat. The hair stood up on the back of Winston’s neck. But before he could retort, two late students entered the courtyard.
“Hey, what’s up dudes and dudettes?” Jacky greeted casually. “Sorry we’re late. We couldn’t find the-"
“Hellooo everyone!” Tai greeted the class flamboyantly. “Jacky-boy, I hope you’re ready for a totally fabulous time! Ready to sweat? Oh, will you look at the sports bra on that blonde gal over here! Looks like Victoria can’t keep her secret for long. Am I right, Tai? Hey, boo-boo! Yes, you in the sports bra. You are killing it!”
Claire giggled, thanking Tai. But he and Jacky wound up sitting next to Gigi and Frank instead, introducing each other. Winston watched from afar, shaking his head. So this is how my roommate acts when he’s no longer single, he thought. Then, when no one was watching, Winston reached into his pocket and pulled out a 20-dollar bill.
“Oi, Steve Irwin,” Winston whispered to Angus, slipping him the money. “I need ya to put me and my friends together in a group.”
Winston pointed out his four friends, scribbled “BAMF” on a nametag, and walked confidently back to his seat. Then, when Gigi was watching, he gave Claire a sloppy, wet kiss.
“First elimination challenge is ax throwing!” Angus announced, behind the wheel of a Volkswagen VW bus. “The world’s second-oldest profession.”
Per request, Angus had formed a group out of Winston, Claire, Frank, Gigi, Tai, and Jacky. Now, he was driving them to a deserted field at the base of Mount Pisgah in the Asheville wilderness. Once they arrived, he set up a huge wooden target, then tossed Winston an ax.
“Now you look like a bloke who’s done this before!” Angus remarked.
“Hell, my daddy had to put a lock on the shed,” Winston bragged.
“Winston is, like, totally a wild man when it comes to the outdoors!” Claire chimed in. “I’m, like, super-stoked for him to totally man-handle me in the bedroom.”
The other four cringed at each other. Then, Winston reared back and hurled the ax with two hands, hitting a large ring.
“Three points!” Angus called out. “Claire, think you can conquer this beast?”
Claire stepped forward and grabbed an ax. As a former high school cheerleader, she hid some muscles under her small frame. But what surprised everybody was how she tossed hers one-handed. She hit an inner ring: a five-pointer.
“This, like, ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy!” Claire teased. She brazenly grabbed another ax and under-handed it to Gigi. She yelped, but Frank stepped in and caught it.
“My stars!” he said to Claire. “A woman so supple, yet so brazen around the edges. A fine mistress you doth make!”
Winston walked over to Gigi and gave her a puzzled look. “In the words of Richard III,” he began. “It looks Frank would trade his kingdom for a whore.”
“Um...since when have you started dabbling in Old English plays?” Gigi asked, a bit uneasy.
“Looks like you don’t know me much at all yourself.”
Gigi blushed, either enraged or embarrassed. She left him to stand next to her boyfriend. Then, Frank performed a one-handed throw, landing an inner ring.
“Five points for Shakespeare!” Angus cheered. “Let’s see if Miss Hathaway can cut the mustard.”
Before Frank handed Gigi the ax, she was already tense. He helped her hold it with two hands in a beginner’s stance. “But soft!” he said, as Gigi took aim. “Plant it straight in the heart! Just like I shall soon plant my seed in your womb.”
Flustered and distracted, she heaved the ax for an outer ring.
“Oi, only one point,” Angus declared. “Better hope our last two competitors think off target!”
Jacky grabbed an ax and faced Gigi. “Bro, your boyfriend’s a perv. And so is that chick.”
Jacky pointed straight at Claire. She giggled obnoxiously, flicking her long blonde hair. Jacky rolled his eyes. “God, please bring this lost sheep home,” he quietly prayed. He flung it from over the shoulder, missing the target completely.
“Ah, I can tell you’re fancy a boomerang by the way you throw that bugger!” Angus chuckled. “Our first elimination. Last one, come on down!”
Before Tai could grab his ax, Gigi pulled him aside. “Um, as your fellow wing-woman,” she started, “I suggest you launch the caveman hunting apparatus into the margins for the express purpose of aborting and creating a more intimate scenario with your beloved wave rider.”
Now Tai had grown a little closer with Gigi ever since she matched him up with Jacky. But all he could muster was a blank stare. Gigi leaned in closer. “Lose on purpose so you can be alone with him!” she hissed.
“Oh, got it,” Tai whispered back. “Hey, Gigi? Do ya think I can borrow your room for a bit? There’s no way Jacky can find out I live in a flooded swamp.”
Suddenly, Jacky’s ax boomerang came twirling back around, heading straight for Tai. He jumped to the side with a shriek, watching the ax fly into a tree. “Righteous!” Jacky cheered, running back to fetch it. So with that in mind, Tai took aim and tossed his ax boomerang-style. As intended, it went flying far and wide past the target.
“And Tai and Jacky have been eliminated!” Angus declared. “That means the rest of ya advance to our next challenge. And an impressive performance from the blonde bombshell and Italian stallion, I might add.”
Claire walked up to Frank and slapped his ass. “Looks like we pervs, like, totally got it going on!”
Winston and Gigi stared at each other in shock. But before they knew it, Tai’s ax boomerang came soaring back, nailing the side of Angus’ Volkswagen.
“FIX THE FUCKING AC,” growled Evelyn the RA in a low, demonic voice. “I WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND.”
In Sarah and Gigi’s room, Tai and Jacky had taken shelter from this emo demon, who was now stomping up and down the hallway. Sure enough, the AC was broken again. And after Tai had escorted Jacky up seven flights of stairs to “his” room, they’d found it virtually impossible to stop sweating.
“So let’s dive into Genesis 5 where we left off,” Jacky suggested, as they sat together on the futon. “It’s a little gnarly since it’s all genealogy. We’ll have to quiz each other when we’re done so we make sure we got it down pat!”
Jacky cracked open the bible, just as Evelyn screamed from the hallway. They rushed to the door and peeked out. Evelyn had let down her jet-black hair and had smeared mascara on her, sweating pale face. She locked eyes with the two young men. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” the demon within her tremored.
They quickly shut the door and got back to their bible study. “Well...anyway, this is the written account of Adam’s family line,” Jacky read. “Basically, this is gonna be a righteous heck-ton of funky names to remember. My youth pastor showed me an easy way to memorize them, where-”
Death metal blared in the hallway. Over the heavy muted guitar and the rapid-fire double bass, Evelyn released a primal roar.
“So yeah, an easy way to memorize the names is word association!” the sweating Jacky yelled over the screeching guitar solo. “For example, take Adam and Seth, who-”
“EVERYBODY BREAK SHIT,” Evelyn screamed, as the deafening breakdown began. Tai rushed to the door and peeked out again. This time, she was breaking off a long fluorescent light tube from the ceiling. Several of her female hallmates observed like visitors at a zoo. Evelyn reared back and smashed the wall, shattering the light into pieces.
“All right, bro,” Jacky finally sighed, shutting the bible and standing up. “Look, let’s just go to your actual room.”
“W-what?” Tai stuttered, closing the door.
“Come on brochacho,” Jacky said, slicking back his long blonde hair. “You think I didn’t catch on? There are the female girls in the hallway with the female devil incarnate. Not to mention the…dreadful taste in bedroom decor in whoever’s room this is. Come on, man. I wanna see the real you.”
They stared into each other's' cool grey eyes. Finally, Tai nodded and reached out to shake on it. Instead, Jacky held his hand and interlocked his fingers. They sneaked out into the hallway, and Jacky led the way to Tai’s room.
“H-how do you know where we’re going?” Tai asked.
“I’m your mailman,” Jacky answered, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know a lot more about you than you think. Heck, don’t even get me started on your roommate’s male enhancement subscription.”
As they descended the stairs, a herd of female students tried to restrain the spawn of Satan in the hall.
“Next up is the zip-line races!” Angus announced.
He drove the four competitors deep into the Pisgah National Forest with the ax still lodged in the van. He slowed to a stop in a green, tranquil meadow where sunlight peeked through the treetops. There, two huge zip-lines ran from the tops of starting platforms, all the way to a platform on the far side of the clearing.
Angus passed out a few safety harnesses, and everyone suited up. “Mine’s, like, a little too big!” Claire whined. “Gigi, you should totally trade with me since you have a tad more cushion for the pushin’! Hey, at least your boobs are smaller than mine! That, like, must be so convenient.”
Gigi ignored her, hooking herself to the lane behind Winston. Claire attached herself to the lane behind Frank. And Angus began the long walk toward the finish line platform. Now out of earshot, both groups began climbing the long rope ladders up to their platforms. Winston purposefully took his time. Halfway up the ladder, Winston stopped and looked down at Gigi.
“Hey, I know I’m being stubborn,” Winston said. “But I really wanna talk to you, if you’ll have me. Just give me a chance to explain-"
“She’s a total bitch!” Gigi hissed, surprising even herself. “If you’re dating her, we’re no longer friends.”
Frustrated and torn, Winston sighed. “Right. I reckon actions speak louder than words anyway.” He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out a mini can of WD-40. Then, he proceeded to spray the shit out of both of their zip-line hooks.
“W-what the hell is wrong with you?” Gigi exclaimed, choking on the fumes.
“WD-40 is God’s lubricant,” Winston explained. “Now we’ll have a little speed boost when we race ‘em. Sorry, buddy, but I need us both to win so we have some alone time to sort things out.”
“You’re being absolutely ridiculous!” Gigi said, flabbergasted.
“I realize that. So I reckon I’ll make you an offer. When it’s me versus you at the finals, I’ll let you win so you get the Lazy Basil gift card. Deal?”
Suddenly, Gigi’s big, brown eyes shot open and her countenance sang a different tune. Lazy Basil was the finest Italian restaurant in all of Asheville - maybe all of North Carolina. And Frank would not be cooking her an Italian dinner until this Friday. After tasting a little bit of chocolate every day to prepare her body for cheese, she could not wait a day longer.
“Pray tell!” Frank suddenly yelled, looking down from his platform at the stragglers. “Art thou stuck on the ladder, Sir Winston? Mayhaps we require usage of a construction crane to haul up your portly frame.”
Winston grunted, then spat on the ground. “So what was that you were saying about my girlfriend being a bitch?” Winston asked Gigi.
Reaching the top of the ladder, Winston and Gigi stepped onto the platform. A perfect view of the bright green hemlock trees of the Pisgah National Forest. From the finish line platform, Angus pumped his fist. “Let’s get these wagon wheels a’rollin’!” his voice echoed across the forest. “Fellas up first!”
Winston made the mistake of looking down at the endless ocean of treetops. Stomach lurching, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, hands trembling, he moved his greased-up zip-line hook to the starting position.
Gigi tapped his shoulder. “Are you...afraid of heights?” she asked, more like a mother than a caring friend.
A sudden breeze caused their platform to sway ever-so-slightly. Winston hunched over and vomited his morning screwdriver into a nest of endangered birds. He wiped his mouth and looked up at Frank’s shit-eating grin. Winston simultaneously flicked him off while giving Angus a thumbs up.
“Ah, we’ve got ourselves a fighter!” Angus called out. “Ready. Set. Go!”
Winston and Frank kicked off their platforms, soaring over the forest. Sure enough, his WD-40 hack gave him the extra acceleration he needed. He held a clear lead over Frank as Angus’ platform grew closer and closer. Not even Frank’s Italian expletives could stop him.
“Wiiinston wins!” Angus cheered, as Winston whizzed up to the platform. And only a split-second later, Frank came in hot, landing gracefully.
“I underestimated thy aerodynamic stature!” Frank admitted. “Mayhaps I too require an uptick in fine American cuisine, say steak and potatoes?”
Back at the starting line, Gigi grabbed her hook and slid it into a starting position. She looked up at her hands, now slick with grease.
“I’m, like, totally sorry about being so rude earlier,” Claire said, making a pouting face. “Look, if you let me win, you get to leave class early with Frank, and I can have the gift card! And not to be totally awkward, but I think you could, like, have a super-hot figure without that Italian food in your diet.”
Two minutes later.
“Gigi wins!” Angus cheered, as she came careening to the finish line. A split second later, Claire came flying by - seething.
“Like, it’s totally not fair!” Claire cried, stomping her feet. “Gigi, like, totally called me a hashtag raging thundercunt! It, like-like-like-like-like, totally distracted me from the race!” Again, more crocodile tears while Claire buried her face in Winston’s shoulder.
“Woe is me!” Frank cried out, grabbing her shoulders. “Oh, the humanity! Alas, say you did no such thing!”
“There, there,” Winston said nonchalantly, patting Claire’s head like a dog. “I’m sure it ain’t that serious.”
Angus covered his mouth. “Oi, Miss Gigi: did you in fact call Lady Claire a raging thundercunt?”
Gigi politely crossed her hands in front of her waist, her messy black hair cascading over her pale face. And then: a tell-all smile.
“Well, you know we handle potty-mouths in Australia, right?” Angus asked. “We fuckin’ celebrate ‘em! And as for sore losers? We make ‘em walk the plank!”
Angus shoved Claire and Frank off the platform. They screamed until the cable pulled taut, leaving them dangling in midair.
“Congratulations, ya raging thundercunts!” Angus said to Winston and Gigi. “Now off to the finals we go. And doncha’ worry, ya blimey losers. My teaching assistant will come get ya down and give ya a comfy ride straight back to campus!”
Winston and Gigi climbed down the ladder and followed Angus out of the woods, leaving Frank and Claire as dinner for vultures. When the two were alone, Claire kicked off her tennis shoes and stretched out, showing off her flat stomach.
“I, like, always thought I had sex in every possible position!” Claire reflected. “Well, except for the Amazon position, since my fraternity forbids it. Awwwkward! But I’ve, like, totally never had sex in midair. Should we try it, Frank?”
It was a manic scene in the 700 Hall of Firewater. Hesitant to get the police involved, Evelyn’s roommates were in the process of summoning a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism. But she was no longer Tai and Jacky’s concern. The muffled screams, crashes, and bangs faded in the distance as the two guys entered the 300 Hall.
“We’re actually...not supposed to be here,” Tai cautioned, placing his hand on the doorknob to his room.
“How come, brotherman?” Jacky asked.
“It’s my roommate: Winston. There’s something in there that he doesn’t want me to know about. And he made me promise to not even let any visitors in our room.”
“So did he get it in writing, with a notary standing by?” Jacky joked.
“Pinky swear,” Tai corrected.
“Far out,” Jacky marveled. “That’s some next-level serious business.” Jacky chuckled, slicking his hair back. “So let me ask this about your roommate: would he rather us be in your room, or his sister’s room?”
Tai froze. Finally, he unlocked the door. “Touché.”
The mildew hit them like a freight train. The mattresses, rug, and futon cushion were all gone. Besides that, Jacky was standing in a typical college dorm. A football schedule and Megan Fox poster on Winston’s side. Video game and anime posters on Tai’s side. A dirty microwave and a mini-fridge, probably filled with light beer and leftover Chinese takeout.
Tai sat on the metal futon frame and patted the spot next to him. “So, what if we used flashcards to memorize some of those biblical names? It’s important for me to - WHAAA-!”
Jacky was frantically searching through Winston’s drawers. “Bingo, my man!” He held up the binder and read the spine. “What’s BDE anyway? Does it stand for big...uh, big-penis energy? Sounds like your roomie has some gnarly ego issues.”
Distracting himself, Tai opened the bible in his trembling hands. “So...uh...there’s Shem...Ham...and Japeth, the three sons of-”
Jacky plopped down next to Tai and opened the binder. “Dude! Do you know what this is?”
Tai looked down at pages upon pages of driver’s licenses in card sleeves. Every race, creed, and gender under the sun. And all featured photos that could pass for any young-looking 21-year-old.
Tai and Jacky had just uncovered Beta Delta Epsilon’s secret fake ID operation. Jacky searched through a few pages, and finally pulled out an ID that could pass for Tai. He removed it from the sleeve and placed it in Tai’s shaking hand. Then, he sat on his lap and held up an ID of a tan white guy with blonde hair. “I don’t wanna talk about Shem and Ham, my dude,” Jacky declared. “I wanna talk about our new legal names: Caleb and Demitri.”
“Ah, now I have an actual black guy’s name,” Tai chuckled, forcing a smirk. Suddenly, he slipped his hand up Jacky’s shirt, feeling his rock-hard abs. “I, uh...so do you want to roleplay...Caleb?”
“Not just roleplay, my dude,” Jacky whispered into Tai’s ear, nuzzling his cheek. “I want to help other people roleplay. Dude! What if we stole these fake ID’s and sold them to every underage student on campus? Think of how freaking righteous that money would be!” Tai’s heart raced as Jacky swung his legs over Tai’s waist, straddling him. Jacky ran his lips from his collarbone to his ear.
“That’s...illegal,” Tai moaned softly. “Not to mention a little ungodly.”
“Maybe so,” Jacky said, nibbling his ear. “But I follow God, not the world. Some people don’t know the difference.
“Caleb” and “Dimitri” rolled off the futon, kissing, biting, and scratching each other until the clothes flew off. And little did they know Evelyn was scouring the 300 Hall with a chef’s knife in her hand, searching for them.
“The grand finale!” Angus announced. “The rock climbing wall!”
Angus led Winston and Gigi to a huge rock wall on the face of the Pisgah Mountains. This time, there was no cheat code in the world that would work in Winston’s favor. While his upper-body strength toppled that of Gigi, he was simply hauling a much larger load.
“The rumors are true!” Angus chuckled. “There is a 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift card up for grabs for the first one to reach the top.”
He strapped Winston and Gigi to the climbing cables, then took a step back. The trembling Winston glanced over at the cool, confident Gigi. “It looks like it’s just me and you, buddy,” he said. “So, do ya reckon you can tell me what I can do to make things right?”
“Go, go, go!” Angus suddenly shouted.
Gigi, quick and nimble, jumped straight up and grabbed her first hold. With ease, she began traversing the wall like an orangutan. Winston chugged along, contorting his body in awkward positions just to keep from falling.
“Look, Gigi!” Winston called out. “I hate that it’s like this between us. Man, I just wanna know what I can do. Hell, you can have my purple V-neck shirt that you accidentally stole.”
No response still. She worked swiftly and calmly as she approached the halfway point. Winston caught a lucky break, catching some easy holds as he covered a few feet. But there was no way in hell he could match Gigi’s steady pace. Plus, the higher he got, the higher the screwdriver rose in his throat.
Desperate, Winston reached around with one hand and unstrapped his vest.
“Oi, what the fuck are ya doing, mate?” Angus spat from far down below. Winston slipped out of the vest and pushed it to the side. Now, he was climbing freely. Fear coursed through his veins, but so did adrenaline. He used that stress to heave himself up much faster than before. Gigi, now past the halfway point, looked down to see Winston’s pleading eyes looking up at her.
“Gigi, I’m sorry!” Winston yelled. “Look, I...I can’t honestly tell you that I’m sorry for meeting up with Claire at the house. Because I’m not. But fuck, I’m sorry you had to walk in and see it! And...I’m plum-fuckin’ sorry I didn’t consider your feelings for me at the time. I reckon that ship has sailed. But fuck, I don’t wanna lose our friendship over it, Gigi!”
Gigi smiled at Winston for the first time that day. She shut her eyes tightly, fighting to block the tears. When she opened them again, Winston’s white knuckles curled around a tough hold.
“I’m not sure how long I can hold on, partner,” Winston groaned, smiling weakly. Slowly, piss began running down his leg, trickling a long way down to the ground below. Gigi began quickly backtracking, holding her breath.
“Winston,” Gigi consoled him calmly, now by his side. “I need you...I need you to reach out and hold me. Don’t let me go.”
He took a deep breath, then wrapped his arms around Gigi’s slim waist. His legs dangled free, supported only by her. Breathing heavily, Gigi kicked off the rock facing. Slowly, they began to descend.
“My real name is Ji-hye,” she said, as they approached solid ground.
“Ji-hye,” Winston repeated, his heart pounding as he held her in a death grip. “So, uh...why did you wanna tell me that?”
“Um...because we’re friends again!” she cheered, as they reached the bottom.
But before he could release her, Angus yanked his collar and held a hunting knife to his throat. His hair and face were drenched in Winston’s piss. “Oi, I oughta gut you like a fuckin’ fish, ya blimey bastard!”
“Wait, it’s not his fault!” Gigi interjected. “Um...a yellowjacket got caught between his shirt and vest and stung him pretty bad. He’s allergic, so he had no choice but to take it off!”
Angus cocked his head, letting her words marinate like the piss in his hair. Then, a proper belly laugh. He gave Winston a shove and put the knife away. “Yellowjackets?! Why, you Americans and bonafide pussies, that’s what ya are! Oi, you wouldn’t last a second down unda!”
Angus reached in his pocket and pulled out two 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift cards. “Fuck it, take ‘em both. After all, that was a mighty impressive showing of teamwork up there!”
Winston cleared his throat and held his hand up. “Thanks for the offer, Angus. But I’m a proud conservative. And I don’t need no goddamn participation trophies.”
Gigi socked him in the stomach. “Accept the gift card or we’re no longer friends!” she hissed, salivating over her imminent cheese dream.
“YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT,” the demon growled in the hallway.
Evelyn slowly dragged her chef’s knife across the door of Room 309 - a knife much larger than Angus’. Tai stared out the peephole, then rushed to the futon to grab his bible.
“We need to perform an exorcism ourselves!” Tai suggested, wearing nothing but bright blue boxers with coconut patterns.
“RIghteous idea, my man!” Jacky replied, donning yellow pineapple briefs. “The word of God is an indispensable weapon during the end times that we live in!”
Tai stared out the peephole again. Now, a senile Evelyn gently tapped the door with the tip of her knife. “Hey, uh, Evelyn,” Tai called out softly. “Why don’t we comb through Genesis together? I sure could use your help in memorizing the lineage of Adam!”
Jacky gave a thumbs up from the frame of the futon. “See, it’s working! That’s the devil in her trying to resist. But no man, woman, or spawn of Satan could possibly resist the righteous infallible word of God!”
Tai chuckled, half-nervous and half-relieved. Then, he opened the door halfway. “Welcome to our bible study, Evelyn! So if you would have a seat on our super comfy futon, we can-"
Suddenly, Tai lept behind the door as Evelyn charged through the room with her knife held high. “DIE! DIE! DIE!” she shrieked, heading straight for Jacky. He swiftly rolled under the futon frame, as Evelyn began stabbing through it, aiming for the head.
“Fuck!” Tai screamed, frantically flipping to Genesis 5. “Um, um...let the power of Christ compel you with His holy word! Enoch begat Methuselah, and Methuselah begat Lamech, and Lamech begat Noah!”
“WHY CAN’T I HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE?” Evelyn screamed. While Jacky cowered in a fetal position, she reared back and stabbed a hole in the wall.
“Oh, Evelyyyn?” Sarah Beavers called out, stepping into the room.
Evelyn spun around to face her, tears and mascara running down her face. She dropped the knife. Then, she swiveled her head around the room, dazed and confused.
“Oh...no,” Evelyn whispered in her normal voice. “Sarah, I did something bad, didn’t I?”
“Shush, it’s all gravy,” Sarah assured her, while Tai and Jacky looked at each other in shock. “Boys, let this be a lesson to you. Envy possessed Evelyn today. Not only was she envious of your AC, but also of your totally-rad same-sex relationship.”
Tai and Jacky realized they were still half-naked, and that it was too late to hide it. Evelyn, moaning softly, crawled over to Sarah and lay her head on her lap. Then, she began playing with Sarah’s dangling dreadlocks. “Now, now - no touchy-feely of the genitals,” Sarah politely warned her. “An asexual chick like myself ain’t no lamp in a corner, ya dig?”
Then, Sarah spotted the BDE binder on Tai’s desk. Cocking her head to the side, she slowly stood up to take a closer look.
“Shit,” Tai whispered to Jacky. “What do we do?”
“We can’t let her know about our operation,” Jacky whispered back.
“So, if my inner chi serves me well,” Sarah began, flipping through the pages. “You two plan on stealing Beta Delta Epsilon's fake ID collection from Winston, in a grand scheme to sell them to underage students?”
“What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks?” Jacky whispered to Tai. “A psychic hippie? What kind of friends are you rolling with, bro?”
“I can hear you,” Sarah advised. She sat down next to Evelyn and slipped out an ID of a brunette hipster girl with straight hair. “It’s a crying shame that Winston didn’t think to include any white girls with dreadlocks. Simple-minded if you ask me. Oh! Evelyn, I found an ID just for you. See, she looks just like the chick from The Ring.”
“I will eat your soul,” Evelyn said in her normal voice. Suddenly, she pinned Sarah down and started tickling the hell out of her.
“Wait, so you’re not mad?” Tai asked Sarah, watching Evelyn win the completely non-sexual “game.”
Sarah caught her breath from her massive tickle-fit. Then, she snapped the binder shut. “Mad? Are you high? I’m a broke college student too. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to be making crazy money, I want in on it too. Evelyn and I both want in. And nobody, I mean nobody, breathes a word of this to my brother.”
Nine outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls.
Gigi slipped her phone back into her purse, fighting the urge to make it 10. On that windy night, she stood in downtown Asheville in front of Lazy Basil, waiting for Frank to fall from the sky. She was dressed up in a black polka-dot maxi dress with a white bow in her hair, knowing that she would be turned away for so much as thinking about blue jeans.
She grabbed a menu and read through the appetizers. Tempura Fried Calamari? Maybe. Chunky Spinach and Artichoke Dip? Eh. And then, her big brown eyes widened when she saw it. Caprese salad: fresh buffalo mozzarella topped with local organic tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and fresh basil leaves from our herb garden.
“So he stood ya up, huh?”
Winston leaned against the streetlight in a black suit and tie. He took a final puff on his cigar, tossed it, then walked over to Gigi to read her menu. And like always, the smell of tobacco was masked by Winston’s signature sandalwood cologne.
“I can’t decide if I want the loaded macaroni and cheese,” Winston pondered, “or the fried cheese logs with marinara. Hey, ya reckon we could order one of each and share?”
Gigi wiped drool from the side of her mouth and came to her senses. “Um...wait, you’re not here for a date with Claire?”
Winston took out his phone and showed her the screen. Sixty-eight outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls. “Reckon I should try to call her one last time?” he asked with a grin. “I mean, I don’t wanna come off like a simp or nothin’.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at a candlelit table for two. While they sipped on large glasses of red Moscato, Gigi explained her lactose intolerance and Frank’s plans to introduce her to cheese for the first time.
“So let me get this straight,” Winston said, leaning in. “You consider this cheating on your boyfriend, don’t you?”
“Um...well, it has nothing to do with you!” Gigi laughed nervously. “It’s...well, it’s cheating if I eat that.”
The waiter came over with a platter of Caprese salad and a refill of red wine. Winston picked up a soft, fluffy cheese disc and tore it in half. “I’m not a betting man. But I wager if your boyfriend wanted to have dinner with you, he’d be the one sitting across from ya.”
Gigi stared into Winston’s pale blue eyes, then at the mozzarella. Slowly, she reached out and placed it on her tongue. Then, she closed her eyes as the creamy, silky flavor graced her palate. She swallowed, then grabbed another, shoving the whole disc in her mouth. Satisfied, Winston pushed the plate toward her. Then, he took out his phone and turned on the camera.
“Here’s to Gigi’s first dairy experience,” he announced, taking a photo. “And, I reckon, the moment before one of her many trips to the bathroom.”
She gasped, tossing her dinner napkin at him. They laughed, garnering the attention of a couple of older, quieter patrons. But Winston and Gigi lived in their own world, sipping refill after refill of wine as she alone cleaned that plate. Before long, the waiter returned with fried mozzarella logs for Winston and loaded macaroni and cheese for Gigi.
“So, all jokes aside,” Gigi started. She leaned forward, the candlelight casting a golden glow on her grinning, pale face. “In your old YouTube days...how long would it take you to eat everything on this table?”
“Son of a bitch!” Winston laughed, dunking a log into his marinara. “I knew my sister told ya about my eating channel! How much of it did you get around to watching?”
“Oh, you don’t want to know!” Gigi giggled, taking her first-ever bite of mac and cheese.
And while the two loyal friends shared stories and cheese dishes, their other friends betrayed loyalty that night. Sarah, Tai, Evelyn, and Jacky used Winston’s fake IDs to bar crawl all over downtown Asheville. And Claire sneaked Frank into the Beta Delta Epsilon frat house, where they rolled in the sheets all night long.
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2020.08.05 03:27 myweithisway Introduction on Multi-Season Kdramas

One notable characteristic of kdramas is their single season format. The majority of kdramas are only a single season long and most have between 10 to 50 episodes. However, as with all things there are exceptions to the rule. Multi-season kdramas, while not prevalent, have been around though some of them may not be the same "multi-season" concept as Western/American/Netflix shows. It is a misconception that Netflix has introduced the multi-season format into kdramas.
Below are overviews of multi-season kdramas categorized by type.
Note: I have covered the ones I know of, there may be series that I have not covered. I did not cover any Netflix dramas.

Popular Procedurals

Several popular crime/legal/forensics/medical dramas have gotten subsequent seasons based on popularity. These are similar to Western seasons in that you get the exact same premise and retain largely the original cast, though there are some cast changes.

God's Quiz

OCN S1 (2010) S2 (2011) S3 (2012) S4 (2014) S5/Reboot (2018)
Forensics focused procedural series, has been lead by the same ML through all seasons.

Vampire Prosecutor

OCN S1 (2011) S2 (2012)
Male lead (ML) is a vampire and a prosecutor. Through his vampire abilities, he's able to solve crimes a way others cannot. S1 was very well received for its slick action and cinematography, resulting in the addition of S2.

Special Affairs Team TEN

OCN S1 (2011) S2 (2013)
Criminal investigation focused drama that retained its core cast over both seasons.

Doctor Romantic

SBS S1 (2016) S2 (2020)
A medical drama focused. This drama is notable for the length of time between the two seasons while retaining certain core cast members. The writer and director are also the same across seasons.


OCN S1 (2017) S2 (2018) S3 (2019)
This crime/thriller series underwent a cast change between S1 and S2 where the ML changed from Jang Hyuk to Lee Jin Wook, however the key premise of the drama is based on the female lead's superior hearing abilities and has been acted by Lee Ha Na in all three seasons.

Queen of Mystery

KBS S1 (2017) S2 (2018)
A comedy/mystery/investigative drama of a housewife solving crime, S1 was well received and resulted in a S2. Despite retaining the same writer and core cast members, S2's reception did not live up to S1.

StrangeSecret Forest

tvN S1 (2017) S2 (2020)
As of the writing of this post, S2 has yet to air but it is highly anticipated. The core cast and writer has been retained but a new director has been added, it will be interesting to see how S2 is received by viewers.

Partners For Justice/Investigation Couple

MBC S1 (2018) S2 (2019)
S1 of this forensics focused procedural was well-received and a S2 was added, retaining the same cast.
Note: The series above were arranged by premiere date of the first season. Worth noting is that this type of multi-season procedural has largely been pioneered by the cable channels, which are often noted as emulating Western cable channels.

Theme Based Series

The other type of multi-season kdrama series are those where multiple dramas on a similar theme or topic are united into one series. Oftentimes, the different seasons will share the same production team, such as the same writer or director. In this case, there's often near complete cast changes between the different seasons. Additionally, often times the storylines are independently contained within each season, thus the common denominator between the different seasons is primarily thematic/topical.

Nonstop Series

MBC sitcom series that first aired in 2000, it went on to air five additional seasons with the last season Nonstop 6 - Rainbow Romance airing in 2005/2006. This series is famous for launching the careers of many young actors and actresses and bringing them mainstream popularity. Some notable names that have acted in one of the Nonstop series include Yeon Jun Hoon 연정훈 (Vampire Prosecutor, Mask), Go Soo 고수 (Will It Snow for Christmas?, Golden Empire), Jo In Sung 조인성 (That Winter, The Wind Blows; It's Okay, That's Love), Jang Na Ra 장나라 (The Last Empress, Fated To Love You), Jeon Hye Bin 전혜빈 (Gunman In Joseon, Another Miss Oh), Son Dam Bi 손담비 (What Happens to My Family?, When The Camellia Blooms), Hyun Bin 현빈 (Crash Landing On You, Secret Garden), Han Ye Seul 한예슬 (Birth of a Beauty, 20th Century Boy and Girl), Lee Yoon Ji 이윤지 (Dream High, King2Hearts), Han Hyo Joo 한효주 (Dong Yi, W), and Lee Min Ki 이민기 (The Beauty Inside, Because This Life Is My First).

High Kick Series

MBC sitcom series that first aired in 2006 with Unstoppable High Kick followed by High Kick Through The Roof! in 2009 and ending with High Kick! The Revenge of the Short-legged in 2011. This series has also helped launch some young actors to stardom such as Jung Il Woo 정일우 (Cinderella and the Four Knights, Haechi), Shin Se Kyung 신세경 (Six Flying Dragons, Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung), Choi Daniel 최다니엘 (School 2013, Jugglers), Yoon Shi Yoon 윤시윤 (Your Honor, Psychopath Diary), and Kim Ji Won 김지원 (Descendants of the Sun, Fight For My Way).

School Series

KBS drama series that portrayed realistic issues South Korean teenagers faced in high school. School 1 and School 2 aired in 1999, while School 3 aired in 2000 and School 4 aired in 2001. This series is also famous for launching careers. Some notable names that appeared in one of the School series include Jang Hyuk 장혁 (Money Flower, Tree With Deep Roots), Choi Kang Hee 최강희 (Queen of Mystery, Protect The Boss), Yang Dong Geun 양동근 (Ruler of Your Own World, 365: Repeat the Year), Kim Min Hee 김민희 (movie The Handmaiden), Kim Rae Won 김래원 (Doctors, Attic Cat), Lee Dong Wook 이동욱 (Goblin, Strangers From Hell), Im Soo Jung 임수정 (Chicago Typewriter, Search: WWW), Lee Yoo Ri 이유리 (Come! Jang Bo Ri, Father Is Strange), and Gong Yoo 공유 (Goblin, Coffee Prince).

Reply/Answer Me Series

tvN drama series that focuses on nostalgia of times gone by, featuring lots of references to historical events and pop culture. The core of this series is families, those bound by blood and those made by choice.
Reply 1997 aired in 2012 and set record viewership ratings for cable television. It's finale broke 6% on tvN but that's not all, the final episode was actually aired on four different cable channels to capitalize on its popularity. See this Dramabeans Ep 16 Recap to see the hype back then for that final episode.
Reply 1994 aired in 2013 while Reply 1988 aired in 2015.
This series has managed to launch nearly all of its entire cast in all seasons into stardom or a new level of stardom. For those that have not watched the series but are interested in watching and wondering in which order to watch the series, see this post for good insight without any major spoilers.

Let's Eat Series

tvN drama series that focuses on food and is filled with copious amounts of food porn. This series is an excellent introduction to the variety of Korean food available. There is also a spinoff in the series about drinking called Drinking Solo.

I Need Romance Series

tvN drama series about love and dating in the modern world. S1 aired in 2011, S2 aired in 2012, and S3 aired in 2014. While the cast and the stories changed between the series, the topic of romance remained at the heart of each drama.

Oh! Boy series (tvN: Flower Boy Next Door, Flower Boy Ramyun Shop, Shut Up! Flower Boy Band)

tvN launched the Oh! Boy series as a line of youth-targeted programming in 2011. It included an audition show in addition to several dramas. The common themes for these dramas is its flower boys.
Flower Boy Ramyun Shop was the first in the series and aired in 2011, followed by Shut Up! Flower Boy Band in 2012 and Flower Boy Next Door in 2013.

Most Number of Seasons

Ugly Miss Young Ae

tvN S1 (2007) to latest S17 (2019)
A comedy drama focusing on the growing pains and life of a woman and lead by the same FL, actress Kim Hyun Sook for all 17 seasons. The Korean wikipedia entry has tables of reappearing cast members organized by season and also production crew members, making it an interesting example to see cast and crew changes over seasons and years.
This drama perhaps is the most "typical"/"traditional" multi-season kdrama, with its retained core cast through its many seasons in addition to a rotation of production crews, including writing teams.

History Highlight

Do you know which drama is the longest running Korean drama of all time?
Hint: It starred Kim Hye Ja (김혜자) and Choi Bool Am (최불암)!


MBC Drama Country Diaries 전원일기 (Hanja: 田園日記)
It began airing in Oct 21, 1980 and aired its last episode on Dec 29, 2002. There are a total of 1088 episodes. It is a rural drama (농촌 드라마), a drama that portrayed rural life as it was. Kim Hye Ja and Choi Bool Am played the main couple and the drama portrayed their daily life as they grew old together.
For a glimpse of the drama, see the photo gallery on its official profile page on MBC (in Korean).
ETA: Note on Terminology Used
The Korean language has lots of loan words, words borrowed from other languages such as English. In my post I'm using the English term corresponding to the load word used in Korean as opposed to the English translation of the term.
Example: Korean term is 드라마 so I used the English term drama but there may be a more distinct/appropriate corresponding term in English, such as TV shows. (See this comment below.)
Additional Examples
Using the below excerpt from a JoongAng Ilbo (중앙일보) news article on Let's Eat 3 to illustrate the use of terms. Relevant terms are bolded below:
tvN 월화드라마 '식샤를합시다3 : 비긴즈'(이하 식샤를합시다3)에 시청자들의 원망이 쏟아지고 있다. 지난 17일 방송에서 전 시즌시즌2 주인공 백수지(서현진 분)의 갑작스러운 죽음이 그려졌기 때문이다. 특히 '식샤를 합시다' 시리즈는 여주인공 이수경(시즌1)과 서현진(시즌2)의 캐릭터가 사랑받았던 터라 시즌을 거듭하며 쭉 지켜봐 왔던 시청자들의 충격은 더욱 큰 것으로 보인다.
Bolded terms and corresponding English term:
  • 드라마 drama
  • 시즌 season
  • 시리즈 series
I've personally just always used the English version of the Korean loan word because it's easy to remember and makes the most sense to me when talking about kdramas. Sorry if this is not best practice or caused confusion.
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2020.07.26 16:42 Winniehiller KEEP THE FAITH AND THE MOTIVATION

This week I have heard from 4 different people that have told me they are becoming unmotivated and frozen in their efforts to work on their acting. They are “hibernating”...they’ve lost ambition and seemed to have misplaced their joy for the whole idea of becoming an actor. It seems that these days, a common symptom of this crisis with recurring spikes and lockdowns is....“What’s the use.”
But I want to light a fire under you all. Don’t give up! This will all end. And when it does you will be a far better actor if you keep on working at what you love. Trust me...you still love it...even if you are feeling like you lost your drive.
That’s what I’m doing....what I love! And fortunately, I have this venue to do it. I’m so excited about my next session of Zoom classes starting today! And I wake up every morning wanting to post something new for all of you. I’ve been working hard to edit videos of class so you all can benefit from them. Take the time to watch! As with all the comments I make on other people’s videos...every comment I make to class participants applies to you too.
So if you are not getting ready to start Zoom class today, get ready to watch these video lessons. If you haven’t seen them, you are missing out on so much. Please ask questions if you have any. You can get a scene partner and do what we are doing! Watch the new student monologue posts...read the comments...review the lessons. https://reddit.app.link/nTt3BLJrG7 Work on a monologue or scene to post. Instead of just watching other people act on tv...do your own acting. Post it for others to enjoy and learn from. There is so much you can do. Here are all the video lessons so far. Maybe start with the last ones first. They are the earliest ones:
You are in charge of how you spend your time and it would be a shame to waste this moment. Life speeds by. But you can put this time to good use so you won’t have regrets later. I am here for you. Let me help you use your time wisely and come out of this strange time - ahead of where you started!
submitted by Winniehiller to Actingclass [link] [comments]


First of all...I don’t mean to bug you about signing up for Zoom class, but I NEED to have everyone who wants to join this session to sign up today or tomorrow. Classes are filling up and I need to know if I’m going to need to add additional class times. I want to keep classes small so I can help each one of you individually. Only one week before we begin and we need this time to prepare...to choose monologues, scenes and scene partners, to start getting you set up for self-tapes and writing your own scenes...we don’t want to waste any time. And I need time to help you all! If you want to take more than one class, there is a $20 discount on additional classes. Here is the link with the class schedule and sign up details. Please don’t wait until the last moment.
And there is so much on this sub you can learn for free! There are new posts here everyday. If you don’t visit everyday you could miss something...like new posts, new video lessons, student videos/feedback comments. Did you check in & introduce yourself? Read about all you may have missed, below!
If you haven’t watched all the video lessons you are missing out on so much you can learn from. Not only do you get to hear me teaching, but you can see your fellow students putting the teaching to use. This will augment the written lessons and help you understand more deeply. I think this is all of them so far...but there is more to come!
There have also been lots of student monologue videos lately. In fact students have been posting videos for almost 2 years now and I have given detailed feedback to every one. You’ll find what I had to say in the comments below each video. And what I say to them applies to you too! So...READ THE COMMENTS. You could have several days of binge watching those and learn so much from my comments.
Be sure to check in on the roll call post...whether you are a new student or an upperclassman. I hope you will share a little about yourself and what you have learned here on the sub. This helps other students learn too. What has helped you will help others and hearing it from your peers is always great confirmation. Here is the latest check-in post:
If you are brand new to this class and haven’t read all the required lessons, you should watch the intro video and start on the lessons right away!
I don’t want any of you to miss any of these. It would be a shame to waste all this information! It’s all my gift to you! But don’t forget to pay me with arrows. I want to know how many people have seen each post and comment. It takes lots of time to edit videos, give feedback and create new ways for you to learn. It keeps me motivated to know you are here and learning. If you want me to keep posting these...let me know!
These are difficult times and it’s hard to have faith that the world will ever get back to normal. But no matter what, you should be doing what you love and preparing for the time when it does! It will, and you want to be ready. And if acting is what you love, then you need that food for your soul. I’m here to provide a feast! ❤️
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2020.07.15 23:27 milosstudent [Training] To waste the corona or become a Champion?

So I'm getting really sick at seeing only band workouts or basic pushups. My aim with this post is to wake you fuckers up and have you realize that your body is more than enough resistance you need. Muscles don't read IronMag 2000 and they don't give a shit about what you think a workout is. They need resistance of any kind, wether thats mechanical disadvantage from a lever, or weights in the shape of a dumbbell.
But milosstudent, I love the gym and I hate being stuck with these pussy-ass exercises. I hear you padawan, of course I wish I was grinding my boner into a bar whilst loudly grunting out my Glute Barbell Bridge. Of course, I would rather feel like im in heaven doing cable chest flyes as I flex my little asshole to the rythm of Zombie Nation. I fucking get it.
So sit your limp deca dick down, inject some insulin so you dont pass out and turn up the NATTY ANTHEM (rip the nattiest of nattys) lets look at what we can do.
Good ol' Greg Douche-ette lists the following in his killer book Home Hotel Hypertrophy Bodyweight which you can use and just copypasta some Bodybuilding moves with.
Personally I dont like LARPing the gym with detergent bottle, so I rather just use Rings and maybe a Gas container if Im doing pistols (not the pew pew kind but these).
Movements will break down into these categories, with each there are several variations.
Squat/Lunge, Sissy Squat (thats sissyphus,not you) /Pistol Squat/ Uneven Squat/ Shrimp Squat
Hinge (not the app) Nordic Curl / Wrestlers Bridge (you can do this in bridge style and also in a pushup style)/ Wall Walkdown
Push Uneven Pushup / BULGARIAN Ring Dip WITH TURNOUT / Hand Stand Pushup / Pike Pushup / Superman Pushup / Pseudo Planche Pushups - Hands at Hips / Lalane Pushups Hands past Head
Pull Australian Pullups- Horizontal / Archer Pullups / Weighted Pullups / One Arm Pullup / Towel Pullup - forearms / Front Lever Row - Horizontal / Tire Pull - Horizontal
Rotation Transverse Throw *** /** Convict Rotation / Hooks
Carry Farmer Carry / Atlas Carry
Smash Ground Slam / Hammer Slam
*Transverse Throw: I normally don't do this spastic version, instead I hold a tire (blackhands like when santa punished your ass, not blackface when you smoke too much dope) or a cinderblock with both hands, couldn't find a better video.
Whats important to remember is that you need both a horizontal and vertical pull and push.
Here are some exercises that dont fall into these categories, I know I know, exercises other than mimicking a bench press with your body? What is this sorcery, well, find out...
Full Body Turkish Getup / Burpee (come on you know this one)
Shoulders and Traps Around the World / Inverted Shrugs
Upper Body Muscle Up / Planche (this is actually a LEAN FORWARD, not a press so dont "jump" into you moron)
Shoulders and Abs Front Lever/L-Sit/ L-Sit To Tuck Planche
Biceps and Back Back Lever / Pelican Pull
Shoulder health Skin The Cat / Hand balancing
Abs Hanging Leg Raises/Dragon Flags / Vacuum (wait like actual bodybuilders?)
Wheels Sprints (You know, that thing athletes do) / Car Push
Lateral Chain Clutch Flag/ Human Flag/ WindShield Wipers
I'll add any exercises if you mention any I have missed. Some exercises like Bodyweight Triceps extensions and Single Leg Deadlifts I didn't consider beneficial to this forum so I skipped them.

So every single exercise on here can be modified to match your level. For example a pushup can be made easier by turning it completely vertical (doing it against a wall) or just against a table, and harder by elevating your legs on that same table. Front lever and planche are almost impossible full on but a lot easier to do with legs tucked in or even straddled. Every exercise on here has a laid out progression that you can find on a lot of different places. Its impossible to jump into a planche or some other hard moves without LONG training for this. For some of you it would down right be impossible because of your weight . Lol Jk youre just a bitch . The reason I include them is so that you have something to work towards, consider them like a 500lb bench.
There are a lot of heavyweights that do quite well on calisthenics; LittleBeastM , Joshua Naterman , Dominik Sky , Dejan Stipke , FitnessFaqs , Adam Raw , Hannibal4King , Diamond Ott .
Remember that you can also reduce ROM like most hand stand pushups are actually just head stand pushups as they dont have paralletes or rings to increase the rom. Another useful thing to think about is that you can externally rotate your legs or shoulder like at the top of a squat (go ahead and do one and keep going once youre done, theres a little bit of ROM you can squeeze out and flex the shit out of your quads, sorry no vid on thisbut if you need one let me know and I'll upload one.) or with pushups if you do them on rings.
If you dont want to fuck about with harder exercises, you can use any of these techniques to make a workout harder . Seriously go fucking try doing pushups with isometric holds halfway through the rep, or do 1+1/2 reps (half way down then all the way down) or try doing a pushups so slow, one couldnt see you move as you do the rep (anything under a minute is for NATTIES, DYEL bro?).
You can make any exercise much harder doing it with Rings, seriously go do some pushups and try not to smash your face in. Best 60$ i ever spent.
Look into things like Scapular protraction and retraction, this is like pulling up in a pullup with straight arms , or rounding your back in a pushup. You can either isolate the scapular movement to a warmup or actively include it as extra ROM on each rep. Hollow Body is essential for planche, posterior pelvic tilt is needed for handstand. Yet all of these will translate to better understanding of your prioception and how your body works. Straight Arm Strength (planche, front lever) is actually more important than Bent Arm Strength (curls, rows, bench) if you believe the gymnasts, its waaaay easier to hold a bent arm planche than a straight arm planche, **FUN CHALLENGE** think about it and write a comment why!.
Further Reading - There is so much content out on this there is no need for me to lay it out for you. Personally I really liked GymnasticBodies but got stuck with that. What is absolute gold is looking up STRAIGHT ARM STRENGTH as opposed to bent arm strength and GB is the best for that. A lot of people like Gold Medal Bodies too as well as Overcoming Gravity. Convict Conditioning was a great intro to calisthenics but didnt have any skills like planche. Be You are your own gym is all round good. AthleanX has a lot of bodyweight programs but I havent personally done any of them so I cant judge em. I really really enjoyed Beat The Apocalypse by Thibarmy, using the times given however I changed the exercises around- pretty much the Tnation article I linked, in a program. Bodyweightfitness has a good wiki (btw did you read the fucking wiki or are you gonna ask if you should do a SARM with no Test base).
What you do with this information is up to you, do a PPL or a Fullbody, follow a program you have and exchange the exercises. Fuck it do a 1000 pullup challenge. (FUN CHALLENGE :: Deck of cards, Do pushups for each Face value you draw in each 52 cards, AND make a video cos I only can make it half way before I start doing incline pushups (see? i used one of my progressions for manual drop sets!!! [RIP DADDY])
Personally im liking the Beat The Apocalypse Fullbody as otherwise I probably would just do pullups and pushups only and never any legs. Most importantly accept that you cannot fully emulate a gym but you CAN find a lot of good alternatives. When time comes to return to MECCA, muscle memory and the mega blast you will be on will bring back any muscle you lost. Use this time to fix injuries (dont act as if your shoulders arent shot), build athleticism (yeah yeah its not you, its the tren thats making those stairs such a struggle) and just get out of your comfort zone.
I personally gave up cos im a little bitch and lost motivation because on top of the corona lock down killing my gym, I tore my shoulder. However after crying a little, I realized that I could rehab using bodyweight instead of cables. The other day I went Bouldering (NSFL skip to 1:05) and managed to stress my shoulder, meaning my rehab had worked. Had I given up I would have stayed fat and manically depressed, now I am only manically depressed.
I don't know about why you guys started lifting (I lied, it was so all the hunies let you drool into their assholes), but one of the most important things in the beginning was that it was fun. Go out and have fun moving your body . Make up some exercises.
Dont be a slave to your government.
If you wanna donate just ask ;)
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2020.06.23 05:17 steroid_pc_principal An extractive summary of Bolton's new book

I knew senior Trump campaign officials like Steve Bannon, Dave Bossie, and Kellyanne Conway from prior associations, and had spoken to them about joining a Trump Administration should one happen. Among these possibilities (and others like Tennessee Senator Bob Corker and former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman), were there common, consistent attributes and accomplishments Trump sought? Obviously not, and observers should have asked: What is the real principle governing Trump’s personnel-selection process? Why not have Giuliani as Attorney General, a job he was made for? Romney as White House Chief of Staff, bringing his undeniable strategic planning and management skills? And Gingrich, with decades of creative theorizing, as White House domestic policy czar? Was Trump looking only for people from “central casting”? Much was made of his purported dislike of my moustache. ” Who knew Trump read so much history? Giuliani was later extremely gracious to me, saying after he withdrew from the Secretary of State melee, “John would probably be my choice. I arrived at Trump Tower the next day for my interview and waited in the Trump Organization lobby with a State Attorney General and a US Senator also waiting. I thought Trump listened carefully; he didn’t make or receive any phone calls, and we weren’t interrupted until Ivanka Trump came in to discuss family business, or perhaps try to get Trump vaguely back on schedule. I was describing why State needed a cultural revolution to be an effective instrument of policy when Trump asked, “Now, we’re discussing Secretary of State here, but would you consider the Deputy job?” I said I would not, explaining that State could not be run successfully from that level. ” Trump then said, “Not now, but at the right time and for the right position, I’m going to ask you to come into this Administration, and you’re going to agree, right?” I laughed, as did Trump and McMaster (although I felt somewhat uncomfortable on his behalf), and answered, “Sure,” figuring I had again dodged the bullet I had feared. ” Life at the White House developed its own rhythm, with Trump firing FBI Director James Comey later in May (at Kushner’s suggestion, according to Bannon), then meeting with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov (whom I had known for over twenty-five years at that point) and allegedly being less than cautious in discussing classified material, calling Comey a “nutjob,” according to the unbiased New York Times. ) I thought the Trump call had accomplished four things: (1) having the speech announce that the Iran deal was under continuous review and subject to US withdrawal at any time; (2) raising the connection between Iran and North Korea; (3) making it clear the Revolutionary Guard should be designated as a Foreign Terrorist Organization; and (4) getting a renewed commitment that I could see him without other approvals. Trump said to me, just as Kelly entered, “Did I ask for this meeting or did you?” I said I had, and he responded, “I thought I had, but I’m glad you came in because I wanted to see you.
Minutes later, he tweeted again: If President Obama had crossed his stated Red Line In The Sand, the Syrian disaster would have ended long ago! Animal Assad would have been history! These were clear, forceful statements, but Trump tweeted before consulting his national security team. While briefing Trump for a later call with President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey, I stressed that we had the right formula: (1) a proposed three-way attack option with France and Britain, not just a unilateral US strike as in 2017; (2) a comprehensive approach, using political and economic as well as military means, combined with effective messaging to explain what we were doing and why; and (3) a sustained—not just a one-shot—effort. Trump wanted to withdraw most US troops from Syria and persuade Arab states to deploy more of their own forces there, as well as pay for the remaining US presence. With a full NSC meeting (the proper term only when the President chairs the meeting) coming that afternoon, I also told Trump we were essentially being sandbagged by Mattis on the range of target options. The Pentagon’s proposed response to Syria’s chemical-weapons attack was far weaker than it should have been, largely because Mattis had stacked the options presented to Trump in ways that left little real choice. Instead of three choices (light, medium, and heavy), Mattis and Dunford (who didn’t seem to be doing anything Mattis didn’t want, but who also didn’t seem very happy about the whole thing) presented five options. Had Trump insisted on one of the “riskier options,” several more days would have passed, and we were already close to one full week since Syria’s attack. Moreover, Mattis said without qualification that causing Russian casualties would mean we would be at war with Russia, notwithstanding our efforts to avoid such casualties and the Dunford-Gerasimov conversation. It was clear to me, however, that without something from the Arab nations, Trump would almost certainly withdraw the few remaining US forces in Syria, and sooner rather than later. Trump said he was thinking of tweeting that he had planned to attack but had called it off because there were no good targets anymore, although he would keep his “finger on the trigger. Trump then launched into possible Russian actions in retaliation for a Syria strike, such as sinking a US Navy vessel, which Mattis assured him was very unlikely, despite the presence of several Russian warships in the Eastern Mediterranean.
Moreover, the US had just imposed substantial sanctions on Russia on April 6, as required by the “Countering America’s Adversaries Through Sanctions Act,”2 which Trump detested because Russia was its target. After a difficult, sometimes testy, back-and-forth about the inevitable criticism from the High-Minded a withdrawal decision would cause, Pompeo said he would have State think more thoroughly about what would follow from our exit, something they had adamantly resisted doing thus far. ” Kelly had also told me that, in the course of the Pompeo negotiations, Paul said I was “the worst fucking decision” Trump had made. Looking at me, Trump said China was strictly enforcing sanctions against North Korea because they feared a trade war with us, which was only partially correct: In my view, China was not strictly enforcing sanctions. With the press cleared from the Oval, Trump and Macron spoke alone for much longer than expected, the bulk of which consisted, as Trump told me later, of his explaining to Macron that we were exiting the Iran deal. ”8 (Macron told Trump in a subsequent call that he was eager to rush to find a new deal, which didn’t produce any resonance from Trump. Briefing Netanyahu on his Iran thinking, Trump said that the whole deal was based on lies, Iran had played the United States for fools, and that Israel should feel free to flay the deal publicly, which of course Netanyahu was already busily doing. Trump said he would be making a statement on Iran shortly and asked, in an almost childlike way, if Xi wanted to know what he would say. Macron called and asked what Trump planned to say on Iran, but Trump wanted to be sure Macron would be circumspect. Trump mused that at some point he should meet with Iranian President Rouhani, flattering Macron as the best of the Europeans, and that he should tell Rouhani Trump was right. He said Russia, China, and North Korea were bigger threats, although his reasons were vague, and I was pleased to see Pompeo and Mnuchin both push back, given that Iran was one of the top four threats identified in the National Security Strategy Trump had approved before my arrival.
A few minutes after Trump made those remarks, the Vice President gave me a high five and said, “He’s got your back!” Trump himself said, “You’re clear, I fixed it!” There were also significant developments on the hostage front, where we were getting increasing indications that North Korea would release three US prisoners if Pompeo personally flew to the North to receive them and return them to America. Meanwhile, Trump was busy tweeting there was no division on his team: Unlike what the Failing and Corrupt New York Times would like people to believe, there is ZERO disagreement within the Trump Administration as to how to deal with North Korea… and if there was, it wouldn’t matter. Pompeo then told me Trump wanted to bring Kim Yong Chol to meet in the Oval Office, which Trump thought was “genius. I could tell from both Pence and Ayers that they were somewhat in shock, and Ayers said Trump wanted “to keep the meeting small”; it would just be Trump, Pompeo, and the interpreter on the US side, and Kim and his interpreter on theirs. Trump and Pompeo emerged from the Oval with Kim Yong Chol and walked him to the driveway where his cars were waiting, and then Trump spoke to the press on his way back to the Oval. Kelly said to me while Trump did a meet-and-greet with the Singapore US embassy staff, “The psychology here is that Trump wants to walk out in order to preempt Kim Jong Un. Trump complained that Kim Jong Un had been meeting with China and Russia to put us at a disadvantage, but he said Singapore would “be a success no matter what,” saying, “We just need to put on more sanctions, including on China for opening up the border. Trump was happy there would be no more war games and said he was glad he had been “overruled” in his previous efforts to cancel them because otherwise, he “wouldn’t have had something to give away!” Trump also said Kim Jong Un “has a vicious streak in him,” and that he could be “mercurial,” remembering an irritated look Kim Jong Un shot at one of his officials during the talks. When I showed Trump Kim Jong Un’s letter and explained our recommendation, however, Trump said immediately, “I should meet with Kim Jong Un. Despite plans for another Pompeo trip to North Korea, at the end of August, just before he was due to depart for Pyongyang, the North Koreans warned that Pompeo would not see Kim Jong Un on this trip, and shouldn’t even bother coming unless he was bringing completely new proposals, including the end-of-war declaration.
Coming a month after June’s Singapore encounter with Kim Jong Un were three back-to-back July summits: a long-scheduled NATO meeting in Brussels with our partners in America’s most important alliance; Trump and Theresa May in London, a “special relationship” bilateral; and Trump and Putin in Helsinki, neutral ground to meet with our once and current adversary Russia. On Syria, Putin asked, regarding our desire to see Iranian forces withdraw, who would accomplish that? This was one of those moments where Putin pointed at me and said I should tell Trump directly that the Russians didn’t need Iranians in Syria, and that there was no advantage for Russia in having them there. As we met in the Oval beforehand, Trump said he would tell Stoltenberg the US was going to lower its “contribution” to NATO to Germany’s level and ask him to inform the other members before the July 11–12 summit. Trump conceded that Stoltenberg regularly gave him credit for his efforts to increase NATO spending by the European allies, but argued that the only reason expenditures had increased was because the allies thought Trump would otherwise withdraw the United States from NATO. A few minutes later, Merkel came over to speak with Trump at his seat, suggesting that Stoltenberg convene an informal “roundtable” where everyone would have a chance to react to what Trump had said. How could we defend ourselves from the Russians, Trump wondered, if the allies wouldn’t pay for it? Trump said he liked Hungary and Italy, but it wasn’t fair to the United States that they weren’t paying their allocated share. She stressed to Trump that, in Helsinki, he should go into the meeting from a position of strength, and Trump agreed, claiming that Putin asked for the meeting (the opposite of the truth), and assured her he would not give anything away. In fact, the US interpreter told Fiona Hill and Joe Wang later that Putin had talked for 90 percent of the time (excluding translation); she also said Trump had told her not to take any notes, so she could only debrief us from her unaided memory. Trump also said Putin didn’t seem to care much one way or the other about our leaving the Iran nuclear deal, although he did say Russia would stay in. Trump asked Putin to describe the one-on-one, and Putin said Trump had first raised the election-interference issue, and then said he hoped we could provide a common explanation of the matter (whatever that meant). A US reporter asked Putin why Americans should believe his denials of interference in our 2016 election, and Putin answered, “Where do you get this idea that President Trump trusts me or I trust him? He defends the interests of the United States of America, and I do defend the interests of the Russian Federation… Can you name a single fact that would definitively prove the collusion? This is utter nonsense.
I wanted to launch US withdrawal from the treaty (which would be an important signal to China, among others), or possibly even mutual withdrawal, before my next meeting with Patrushev, in Moscow, in late October. ” None of us believed there was moral equivalence, and notwithstanding Mattis’s point, mutual withdrawal would give Trump something he could announce as a “success” with Russia, perhaps thereby reducing the pressure to make real concessions in other areas. On October 17, before my meeting with Patrushev in Moscow the following week, I briefed Trump on where things stood, including all the interagency work we had done, our preliminary diplomacy with NATO allies and others, and our likely schedule for withdrawal, kicked off on December 4 by Pompeo’s giving Russia notice to resume compliance or else. I explained that once we announced our intention to withdraw, the Russians would likely do the same, accusing us of violating the treaty, which was untrue but which could involve us in a series of recriminatory statements between Moscow and Washington. Instead, I suggested, why didn’t I ask Patrushev that the two countries withdraw mutually; this approach could spare us a lot of grief and allow us to announce an agreement with Russia on something of importance. I then called Pompeo, who said it was “horrific” Trump could make an announcement as significant as withdrawing from the INF just in response to a reporter’s question, a rare occasion of Pompeo’s being explicitly critical of something Trump did. We discussed our respective positions on the INF at length, but what really interested Putin was “What comes next?,” meaning what were we contemplating regarding deployment in Europe? Having made the point earlier that Russia and America were effectively the only two countries bound by the INF, I replied that I thought Putin had said at our last meeting that Russia understood the strategic implications of that fact, meaning China’s large and growing ballistic and hypersonic glide missile capabilities. Why go through the agony of renegotiating New START, adding, for example, reductions or limitations on tactical nuclear weapons, which were of major importance to the US given the large number of such weapons Russia had?5 In response to Putin’s questions, I said we had no intention of withdrawing from New START, but we were also essentially certain not to allow it simply to be extended for five years as Russia was asking (along with almost all Senate Democrats). ” I then pressed him to announce simultaneously the suspension of our treaty obligations because of Russia’s material breach, a concept separate from withdrawal, which would allow us to begin “violating” the treaty even as the 180-day clock was ticking, and Trump agreed. Trump said he didn’t want to look weak to Russia, and Merkel promised she would back us if we gave her sixty days. The Trump Administration had imposed substantial new economic sanctions on Russian citizens and entities in 2017, related to the Crimea annexation, adding to what Obama had done, as well as extending other sanctions; closed the Russian consulates in San Francisco and Seattle; expelled more than sixty Russian intelligence agents (operating in the US as “diplomats”) after Moscow’s attack on the Skripals;20 imposed sanctions for violating the Chemical and Biological Weapons Control and Warfare Elimination Act, also required by the attack on the Skripals; sanctioned Russia’s Internet Research Agency, an arm of Russia’s cyber-offense machinery; and penalized over three dozen Russian officials for violations of US Syria-related sanctions.
What Trump wanted, however, was very limited: when would Brunson be released to return to America, which he thought Erdogan had pledged? Erdogan said only that the Turkish judicial process was continuing, and Brunson was no longer imprisoned, but under house arrest in Izmir, Turkey. Trump allowed the negotiations to continue, but his instinct on Erdogan proved correct: only economic and political pressure would get Brunson released, and here at least Trump had no problem applying it despite Mnuchin’s happy talk. Trump said he was ready to leave Syria if Turkey wanted to handle the rest of ISIS; Turkey could do the rest and we would just get out. Trump said he would ask me (I was listening in to the call, as was customary) to immediately work on a plan for US withdrawal, with Turkey taking over the fight against ISIS. Over the weekend, Trump decided he wanted another call with Erdogan to make two points: first, don’t attack any US troops in Syria, and second, be sure to attack ISIS and not Kurds, both points being correct, but it was a little late to fill them in after his earlier call with Erdogan and the subsequent publicity. 17 So after greetings and opening remarks, Trump said that, first, he wanted Erdogan to get rid of ISIS, and that we would provide assistance if Turkey need it. ” Trump said he had told Erdogan not to attack US forces in Syria, and LaCamera and Caine were explaining what they were currently doing against ISIS when Trump asked, “Can you knock the shit out of them on the way out?” They both responded, “Yes, sir,” and Trump said, “That is my order; take it out from here. The US would continue to provide air cover and search-and-rescue capabilities for the international force, which Dunford and I believed would also allow us to keep control of the airspace over northeastern Syria. Did Mattis in particular want a flat-out Trump decision to withdraw, so Mattis could then resign on a matter of principle? Or was this an institutional Pentagon effort to have Trump be squarely responsible, not US failings during the course of the war, and especially not the collapse of the beloved counterinsurgency strategy that had failed in both Afghanistan and Iraq? Pompeo agreed with me that the briefing should have been held later in November, but we couldn’t stop it. ” Then Trump raised the first combat use of the MOAB (“Massive Ordnance Air Blast”), “without your knowledge,” said Trump to Mattis,30 complaining for the umpteenth time that the MOAB had not had its intended effect. 32 At my regular breakfast with Mattis and Pompeo, this one on Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, I suggested we seek to answer three questions: Would the Afghan government collapse after we left, and, if so, how fast? How fast and in what ways would ISIS, al-Qaeda, and other terrorist groups react to withdrawal? And how fast could the various terrorist groups mount attacks on the United States? We scheduled another Oval Office meeting for Monday, and Mattis had barely begun before Trump was all over him.
Kelly said that by mid to late July he thought he had gotten Trump off the idea of taking away people’s clearances, but Trump returned to it because his favorite media sources kept pounding away on it. Kelly opened the weekly White House staff meeting on August 27 by saying, “I’m in a bad place today,” because of ongoing disagreements with Trump over whether to fly US government flags at half-mast and who would attend which services. “What about Bolton?” Trump asked, “Could he take it over?” Kushner said he doubted I would be interested, but Trump replied, “John’s great. Can you ask him if he’d do it?” Kushner said whomever Trump selected would be in a fight with Kelly, and Trump replied, “John’s not afraid of fights. We needed to find a way out of this train wreck before Trump blamed us for the collapse of his border policy! According to Kushner, however, this latest encounter with Nielsen convinced Trump I should have control of the issue. “How else are we going to stop the caravans?” “Kirstjen Nielsen is working on this,” said Kelly, still loudly, and Trump shot back, “None of you other geniuses have been able to stop the caravans,” at which point Kelly stomped out of the Oval, Trump waving his hand dismissively at Kelly’s back as he left. (In a December conversation with Trump as he decided on Kelly’s successor, Trump acknowledged that this exchange with Kelly was the “shouting match” about which the press had spilled so many electrons. ” Personnel management issues, also critical to policy development, portended a series of dramatic changes following the November 2018 congressional elections. ” One story I was sure the media hadn’t heard from Mattis was one told by Trump on May 25, as Marine One flew back to the White House from Annapolis after Trump’s graduation speech to the Naval Academy. In an October 2019 interview, in the midst of the Ukraine impeachment crisis, Kelly said he had told Trump, “Whatever you do—and we were still in the process of trying to find someone to take my place—I said whatever you do, don’t hire a ‘yes man,’ someone who won’t tell you the truth—don’t do that. ”7 Trump flatly denied Kelly had made such a statement: “John Kelly never said that, he never said anything like that.
Under the vacancy clause of Hugo Chavez’s own Constitution, Guaidó said he would become Interim President on January 23, which was the anniversary of the 1958 military coup that overthrew the Marcos Perez Jimenez dictatorship, and oust Maduro to prepare new elections. ” I walked Trump back off the ledge, explaining that the military was still in its barracks, which was very significant, and that senior military figures had been talking to the Opposition for two days about what would be in it for them if they came over to the Opposition or retired. Trump then assured Guaidó he’d pull off Maduro’s overthrow, and offered as an aside that he was sure Guaidó would remember in the future what had happened, which was Trump’s way of referring to his interest in Venezuela’s oil fields. A drumbeat of diplomatic recognitions of Guaidó was picking up and we hoped it would demonstrate even to Maduro loyalists that his days were numbered, and also provide insurance against arrest for Guaidó and other Opposition leaders. 30 There were also hopes that key military officials would not follow orders to close the borders, but that, even if they did, Maduro would be placed in the impossible position of denying humanitarian supplies to his impoverished citizens. Trump asked the Colombians if he should have talked to Maduro six months earlier, and Duque said unequivocally it would have been a big victory for Maduro, implying it would be an even bigger mistake to talk to him now. It could swing from one extreme to another: things could go well, with the border effectively opened, which would be a direct challenge to Maduro’s authority, or there could be violence and bloodshed at the crossing points, potentially with Guaidó arrested or worse. Such actions would likely get little public attention but would be powerful messages to regime officials that we were prepared to ease their paths either out of Venezuela entirely or into the arms of the Opposition as co-conspirators rather than prisoners. 52 If Venezuela’s top court, packed by Maduro cronies and hacks, and led by one of his nominally strongest supporters, delegitimized Maduro’s sham legislature, it would dramatically undercut Maduro across the board in Venezuela. 55 Talks with several senior Venezuelan military leaders, including Defense Minister Padrino, were becoming increasingly operational: not about whether Maduro would be ousted but about how it would happen. I understood the tentative sequence was that the supreme court would declare the Constituent Assembly illegal; Maduro would then resign; the military would recognize Guaidó as Interim President; the National Assembly would be recognized as Venezuela’s only legitimate legislature; and the supreme court would remain in place.
By the time I joined the White House, trade discussions of all sorts with China had been under way for some time. Commerce Department has been instructed to get it done! When had we started to worry about jobs in China? On Monday, I heard Navarro was trying to get a miscellaneous group of people into the Oval to tell Trump what a bad idea backtracking on ZTE was. ” That didn’t necessarily mean the United States Trade Representative would resume its traditional role as primary negotiator, because Trump also lashed out at Lighthizer: “You haven’t made one deal yet!” What did process matter anyway when Trump tweeted on his own, as he did on May 14: ZTE, the large Chinese phone company, buys a big percentage of individual parts from U. On the other hand, Trump came increasingly to view China as trying to influence the 2018 congressional elections against Republicans, and more important (to him), as working for his defeat in 2020. Toward the end of the trade issue, Trump proposed that for the remaining $350 billion of trade imbalances (by Trump’s arithmetic), the US would not impose tariffs, but he again returned to importuning Xi and China to buy as many American farm products as they could. ” Lighthizer for some reason worried that our trade war with China was hurting Europe, which only added fuel to the fire, provoking the familiar Trump refrain, “The EU is worse than China, only smaller,” as he decided to impose the next round of tariffs on Beijing, via Twitter, of course: Our representatives have just returned from China where they had constructive talks having to do with a future Trade Deal. Additionally, my friend President Xi said that he would stop the sale of Fentanyl to the United States—this never happened, and many Americans continue to die! Trade talks are continuing, and… …during the talks the U. This does not include the 250 Billion Dollars already Tariffed at 25%… …We look forward to continuing our positive dialogue with China on a comprehensive Trade Deal, and feel that the future between our two countries will be a very bright one! This was a huge decision, causing great angst in Trump’s economic team, which was pretty much where things stood when I resigned on September 10. Former Vice President Dan Quayle told me as far back as October 2018, after a trip to Hong Kong, that China had become increasingly aggressive, kidnapping from Hong Kong businessmen who had somehow crossed Beijing, many of whom were simply never heard from again. ” On August 13, after our discussion on F-16 sales to Taiwan (see below), Trump tweeted again: I know President Xi of China very well. Trump was particularly dyspeptic about Taiwan, having listened to Wall Street financiers who had gotten rich off mainland China investments.
Nonetheless, he saw no real Trump commitments, and at the end, Trump said he couldn’t lift sanctions until North Korea denuclearized, or he would look like a fool, which was true, and it was good Trump still remembered it. ” After Hanoi, we learned from press sources such as South Korea’s Chosun Ilbo that Kim Yong Chol had endured forced labor, although he was later rehabilitated; that Kim Hyok Chol, Biegun’s counterpart, had been executed, along with several others; that, in penance, Kim Jong Un’s sister had receded from public view for a time; and that Shin Hye Yong, Kim’s interpreter, was in a political prison camp for making an interpretation mistake. Trump pressed again, wondering what would happen if we had to fight North Korea, and whether South Korea would accept Japanese participation. Unfortunately, North Korea continued testing missiles, not the ICBMs Kim had promised Trump he would not test, but short- and medium-range missiles that threatened much of South Korea and Japan. As Moon rambled on about Kim Jong Un’s dissatisfaction with the joint US–South Korea military exercises, Trump observed that Moon seemed to have lost his relationship with Kim, who was now not traveling to South Korea as once envisaged. 14 Trump answered by saying that he would surprise Moon by giving his complete blessing to releasing the aid through the UN agencies, and asked Moon to let North Korea know that he had suggested it to him. , Abe and Trump had a joint press conference, with Trump saying again he was not worried by North Korea’s missile launches and Abe saying publicly, with Trump standing beside him, that he believed they had violated Security Council resolutions. The press just loved the split, but more important, it showed to North Korea that despite the efforts under way all day to show the solidarity of the US-Japan alliance, it was clear Abe and Trump had different views on North Korea. Trump said that in his bilateral meeting, he would stress the aid that the South was providing, and would tell Moon everything that happened between him and Kim. Moreover, high on Trump’s priority list for a successful North Korea nuclear deal was his insistence that Japan and South Korea pay a big part of the economic costs; Trump wasn’t giving the North any “foreign aid,” only the prospect of large, profitable private investment. Taking advantage of US election-year politics, will he try to entice Trump into a bad deal, the kind of approach that led Trump’s predecessors into major mistakes? Or will he conclude that no deal with Trump is possible and that he would be better served waiting to see whether a pliant Democrat with even less foreign-policy experience than Trump emerges as President? Whatever the answer, North Korea’s trajectory toward being a fully capable nuclear-weapons state will continue.
Pompeo briefed Trump on his recent visit to Iraq, which inevitably kick-started Trump into enumerating the Bush 43 Administration’s errors: “Worst President we ever had,” said Trump. ) After the Lincoln reverie, Trump moved to a short-form version of the soliloquy on John Kerry and the Logan Act: “The Iranians aren’t talking only because of John Kerry,” he mused, but Shanahan, seeing how successful Haspel had been by just ignoring Trump and interrupting, resumed talking about more boring things like risk, cost, and timing regarding the various options we might consider, including the use of force. They said publicly they knew Trump wanted to talk but was being frustrated by advisors like me, or that Trump wanted peace but his advisors wanted war. Although Trump hadn’t told me at the time, he had asked Abe to get involved between Iran and the US, and Abe had taken the request seriously. Would we be ready to alleviate the sanctions? And what would we want from Iran? Reducing its military activities in Syria and Yemen? After explaining again the effects on Iran of America’s reimposition of sanctions, Trump went after Kerry for violating the Logan Act and convincing Iran not to negotiate. government that Iran is responsible for today’s attacks in the Gulf of Oman…” On Friday morning, Abe gave Trump a personal readout of his trip, saying that he had seen no willingness from either Rouhani or Khamenei to have a dialogue with the United States as long as the economic sanctions remained in place. ” There were three significant aspects about the decision just reached: (1) we were hitting functioning military targets, as explained above, not merely symbolic ones; (2) we were hitting inside Iran, crossing an Iranian red line, and were certainly going to test their repeated assertions that such an attack would be met by a full-scale response; and (3) we were hitting targets likely entailing casualties, which question we had confronted, Trump having heard that the attacks he had ordered meant dead Iranians (and, possibly, dead Russians). Iran can NEVER have Nuclear Weapons, not against the USA, and not against the WORLD I suppose I really thought, “If he wants to put something out that foolish, who am I to object?” I believed Trump would own it so totally after those tweets that perhaps people would understand how idiosyncratic the whole thing had been. As for the two remaining sites, Dunford said they assessed that it would be fifty people per site “max” and tried to explain to Trump why, in the middle of the night Iran time, the numbers at the site were likely to be far smaller. After a Trump discourse on Kerry and the Logan Act, Macron asked directly what Trump would be willing to give up, thereby precisely demonstrating his mentality to make concessions to Iran without getting anything in return. Although Trump first ducked, they did discuss before the call ended the idea of a significant reduction in the oil and financial sanctions against Iran for a brief period, and Trump seemed to be clearly leaning in that direction.
Curiously, Pompeo had John Sullivan attend in his stead; perhaps he didn’t want to reveal what the actual state of play in diplomacy with the Taliban was before the Trump briefing, which would be consistent with his practice of sharing as little about the negotiations as he could. Within thirty minutes of the breakfast, I called Trump and said it was his decision whether to let Khalilzad and the State Department act with complete independence in the negotiations, but I thought it was dangerous for what Trump said he wanted. Specifically, while his instructions from Trump (or Pompeo, whomever) at that time were to get US forces to zero, he also had instructions from Trump to support counterterrorism capabilities consistent with what had been previously briefed to Trump in the Tank, essentially without an end date. Completely predictably, Trump asked, “Who pays them?” Esper, new to this movie script, promptly responded, “We do,” thereby launching Trump into the riff about how Mattis always said, “These soldiers are fighting bravely for their country,” until Trump asked who paid for them, and found out the total cost (including equipment and other supplies) was about $6. Pompeo tried to keep the whole thing between himself, Khalilzad, and Trump (although, as the meeting started, Trump said it had been a long time since he had seen Khalilzad). Why, I asked, given that we all knew the political risks on this deal were from most Republicans, let alone Democrats, didn’t Pompeo want allies? If he wanted all the credit for it, I could understand that, but there would be precious little “credit” when the agreement collapsed, which even Pompeo told me he thought was inevitable. We could repeat the phrase “conditions based” all we wanted, but in reality, this agreement would be regarded as pulling up stakes and getting out (which Trump probably would have preferred, even though none of the rest of us did), with all the attendant chaos that would likely follow. As to whether the military could live without the “protection” of a deal, Pompeo said he thought the US commander would prefer a deal but could live with it either way. “Hey, John,” Trump said to the screen in the Sit Room, “what do you think?” My instinct was that this meeting could stop the pending deal dead in its tracks while the Taliban and the Afghan government wrestled with its implications, or at least delay it for a significant-enough period because of the time it would take for the Afghan parties to figure out their positions. Pence asked, “Would you meet with Ghani first?” “Only if Ghani knows I’m also going to sit down with the Taliban later,” said Trump. Pompeo and I spoke after he was back at the State Department to see if his understanding was the same as mine, that not only the Taliban but also the Ghani meeting was canceled, and he agreed that’s what he’d heard Trump say.
Pompeo wanted a conference call with her and me to get everyone on the same page, but before the call could be arranged, Trump called Pompeo to say Haley’s talking points were fine and that he didn’t want to be hammered in the press for being too soft. Trump said he thought it would be terrible to meet with Putin in these circumstances, and that the press would only talk about the Ukraine issue. Trump called again to say he would do the bilateral if Putin would announce, when it ended, that he was releasing the ships and crews, thus in effect giving Trump credit for springing them. I said I would speak to Trump and see whether there would still be a bilateral meeting. The Russians didn’t put anything about the meeting in their press, and Trump related to me the next morning he had essentially told Putin he didn’t see how the two of them could meet at any length until the Kerch Strait incident was resolved and the ships and crews returned to Ukraine, which didn’t seem likely for some time. I briefed Trump in advance of the call that Zelensky might invite him to his inauguration (the date for which had not yet been officially set), and Trump said he would send Pence instead. ” Zelensky did invite Trump to his inaugural, and Trump responded he would “look at the date” and said, “We’ll get you a great representative for the United States on the great day. ” Zelensky then invited Trump to Ukraine, noting both would be in Warsaw on September 1 for the eightieth anniversary of Germany’s invasion of Poland, launching World War II, suggesting Trump could then come to Kiev, which Trump politely discouraged. With time drawing short, I suggested to Pompeo and Esper that I again see how Trump was leaning, and the three of us then coordinate our schedules to talk to Trump together, with which they agreed. ” Pence also pressed Trump to meet Zelensky at the UN General Assembly and said that “just between us girls,” he thought Trump was looking for a news peg to make what we hoped was the right decision. In light of the subsequent controversy, I should note that on Tuesday, Kupperman told me that Dan Walsh, one of Mulvaney’s deputies, had called him late Monday, returning with Trump on Air Force One from a North Carolina political rally Trump had departed for right after speaking with me.
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2020.06.23 00:00 neverdreams06 asking idols to say lgbtq positive phrases like 'trans rights' should not be taken as evidence of them being allies

today this video appeared on my timeline and i was very surprised to see so much support for it. now i don't have a problem with them telling txt they're non-binary, because that should be normalised. someone else had a call with sana and told her that she's flying to korea to live with her gf - if straight people doesn't hesitate when talking about their partners, why should anyone else?
what i disagree with is them asking txt to say trans rights, txt parroting it back and stan twitter taking this as validation that txt are the biggest allies for the lgbtq community. like... we don't know if they fully understood what they were asked to say, and it seems very self serving too. they're human, not dolls that pander to your every wish. i do understand that this is the nature of fansigns, and felt similar when someone asked yangyang to call her 'mama' and the deborah-noona debacle if anyone remembers that. however at least in those cases it's just for the op, here you've got people going 'txt believe in trans rights' when we can't say for sure they do. falls in the same vein as idols holding up pride flags that are thrown on stage during concerts, actually.
of course i don't know txt. i would like to believe do support the community, and i'm not suggesting they're transphobic or anything. i'm glad this has helped op and other moa feel validated by their faves but i don't think it's right to put them in a situation where they have no other choice but to do what is asked of them
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2020.06.17 03:40 angellove_rm tvN's 'The Salty Tour' confirmed to resume airing later this month with first guests Joy & Kim Jong Min

tvN's travel variety program 'The Salty Tour' is confirmed to resume airing later this month, starting on June 30 at 7:40 PM KST!
Originally, 'The Salty Tour' is a travel variety where the cast introduces viewers to unique overseas travel packages on a budget. However, as a result of the global COVID19 pandemic alert, the series will be returning with a feature of hidden travel spots across Korea.
Previously, model Han Hye Jin announced her departure from 'The Salty Tour' as a former fixed cast members. The remaining cast members Park Myung Soo, Super Junior's Kyuhyun, and Kim Jun Ho will now be joined by a new female travel companion, actress So Yi Hyun! The first guests of 'The Salty Tour's new domestic travel edition will be Red Velvet's Joy and singer Kim Jong Min, partnering up with the cast to find the most memorable travel spots of Jeju island.

Source: https://www.allkpop.com/article/2020/06/tvns-the-salty-tour-confirmed-to-resume-airing-later-this-month-with-first-guests-joy-kim-jong-min
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2020.06.12 03:08 TheDrObiWan Day 1 Spec Ops Training!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the Day 1 of Spec Ops Training. This will be an ongoing course to make sure everyone is trained to handle situations of all kinds! Also, to keep this sub-reddit alive! My name is Lieutenant OB/GYN Kenobi. Allow me to give you a little info about myself before we continue! "Brave Officer, fearless leader, magnanimous lover. Died in the great asteroid wars of 8429 after figuring out time travel in 2021." My list of perps apprehended reads off exactly like my sexual partners list, and can be summed up with a simple movie quote! Not just the men, but the women and the children, too - Anakin Skywalker, Attack of the Clones! As you can tell, You can learn a lot from me. So pay attention!!!!
A very important thing to note is the actual links to Never gonna give you up. Memorize these. They can mean life and death when in the field! They will be the ones most used by inexperienced Rick Rollers! Learn them!
Now to some more advanced. These ones have an altered title to lure unsuspecting victims!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikFZLI4HLpQ&list=PLVbxVQf7e2KRz1J34jFf7jDJFDT9lvnQ9&index=1Building demo gone wrong
Frozen2 sneak peek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj1ykZWtPYI&list=PLVbxVQf7e2KRz1J34jFf7jDJFDT9lvnQ9&index=28R2D2's secret message(This one hurt the most)!
As you can see they are advancing. There are many more than this. We may cover more with enough time provided! Make sure to stay focused and vigilant! Keep your trigger fingers itchy! Join us tmw for class number 2! OB/GYN Kenobi signing out!
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2020.05.20 01:15 AlohaAlex r/KDRAMA and the Dramas That Stole our Hearts 2019 Edition

We're finally here! It's 2019! Time to crown the best drama of this year, and there are, as you already know, plenty of contenders to root for. Still, only one kdrama can be the ultimate heart stealer.
And that drama is..
Be Melodramatic! Yes, I'm not joking - it's definitely Be Melodramatic. It's the perfect drama for anyone with a few kdramas under their belt. A beautifully intertwined story of friendship and perseverance that effortlessly marries pure comedic gold (seriously, it's great) with real-life struggles of the main characters. There's romance, there's slowly revealed backstories that will make you tear up and so many scenes of friends being quietly supportive that you'll feel like you're being wrapped in a warm blanket. The starting point is a makeshift family of three best friends who live together and from there on, the story develops in unexpected, charming ways. I never expected how refreshing it would be to subtly break the fourth wall in order to criticize the amount of PPL in new dramas, or how strong of a me too message the drama will have. The realistic characters, snappy dialogues and unexpected role reversals will keep you entertained. Sure, it's a polished version of reality, but the characters feel alive. The characters can be fierce and vulnerable, serious and delightfully cheerful - their emotions change and even the side characters are more than just a backdrop; you'll get to peek at their lives and see how they act away from the spotlight of the main storyline. Oh, and did I mention it also has a great OST sung by the actors which ties in with the storyline?
Still not convinced? How about if I tell you the brother has the best pajamas and loungewear in kdrama history? Here's the full list of all his indoors outfits: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty-one.(all Be Melodramatic screenshots are available as an imgur album here)
Okay, fine, I know which dramas I was supposed to pick from and out of those.. I'd pick SKY Castle, the gorgeously filmed social commentary drama which showed us the psychological traumas which are caused by the fight to enter prestigious South Korean universities. It won widespread acclaim for it's brutal portrayal of Korean reality. And after all that drama, you'd probably like to find out what's the process required to actually film a kdrama in which case you should watch Be Melodramatic.
The second place goes to Hotel Del Luna which is a weird mystery horror fantasy comedy romance drama which should either be terrible or ridiculously campy, but somehow.. isn't? The cinematography is amazing and IU's performance is great, but the plot isn't as well connected.
Romance dramas! Romance developed further in 2019; if 2018 was the year of healing dramas with subdued humor, 2019 brought the laughter back. Dae Jang Geum is Watching is a perfect example; a fresh take on the romcom genre, it blends multiple storylines with food at every level of expertise; the older brother explores less-known Seoul restaurants, the sister makes quick/tasty convenience store meals and the younger brother prepares traditional Koran meals. Her Private Life showed us adults can have hobbies too and Romance is a Bonus Book taught us reading and kdramas are not mutually exclusive. Unlike that drama, though, When the Camellia Blooms didn't ignore the existence of a child and marked Gong Hyo Jin's triumphant return to the small screens. Lovers of smart characters who are making good decisions enjoyed Touch Your Heart and the lead's great chemistry, while side characters completely stole the show in the IT female-centric Search:WWW.
Those up for a more traditional romcom experience enjoyed the tropes of The Secret Life of My Secretary, Dear Citizens and Catch the Ghost, while fantasy inspired romcoms proved to be a different beast altogether. Angel's Last Mission: Love paired a cynical ballerina and a warmhearted angel, The Light in Your Eyes threw us in a fantasy world which was funny, sad and made us connect the puzzle pieces to try and figure out the plot. Perfume, despite its slightly worrisome description, turned out to be a relaxing, love-comes-in-all-shapes drama.
Youth romances include Moment at Eighteen and it's portrayal of the bittersweet highschool life, Beautiful World was a family drama at heart which focused on school violence and it's devastating consequences and Dating Class gave us a new university class called Intro to Dating.
Romance dramas also had a good year (notice the lack of comedy - this is purely drama territory) as the morally ambiguous Welcome 2 Life, gorgeous "Park Bo Gum in Cuba" situated Encounter and medical mystery Doctor John aired. One Spring Night achieved what Something in the Rain didn't manage to accomplish, A Pledge to God took us on a heart-wrenching fight for the survival of children and Love Affairs in the Afternoon gave us a drama about infidelity and family destruction.
The "what genre is this even" award is not going to Hotel Del Luna which was still mainly a fantasy romance, but instead to the musical surprise of the year: When the Devil Calls Your Name. What is it? Who knows? Officially it's a musical fantasy romance comedy melodrama with characters which switch ages and actors, and which tells the story of a down-on-his-luck musician which sells his soul to the devil in order to get three wishes; youth, popularity and.. a mystery wish. If you watch it; it's a beautifully paced drama with a well told story, snappy dialogues and amazing acting; not only do the couples have good chemistry, but the most important pairing; the musician and the devil have the best bromance I've seen in a while. And the music? Almost as good as the comedy.
Those looking for a comedy should look no further than Pegasus Market, a light-hearted heart-warming drama describing the lives of a shop's employees.
Historical dramas experienced a boom and vastly improved in quality as Kingdom brought back people from the dead in a bad way, Arthdal Chronicles confused everyone with its multiple seasons, The Tale of Nokdu stunned with it's OST, acting, and plot, The Crowned Clown gave us political twists and turns, The Nokdu Flower gave us a classic brother vs brother story and My Country did the same, but with best friends. Oh, and Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung pulled us in with pretty faces and ended up talking about vaccination, Christianity and female emancipation.
And now for the crime dramas: He Is Psychometric was a touching story which happened to revolve around a crazy serial killer; there's romance, suspense, comedy and great acting. Graceful Family played the "lower their expectations" game perfectly, Fiery Priest mislead everyone into thinking it was a dark Catholic crime drama and was actually a comedy and Designated Survivor told a story of a terrorist attack wiping out the political elite leaving an ordinary citizen to run a country.
Thrillers included Kill It and its surprisingly good plot (rooting for the bad guys? Yes, please), Strangers From Hell and Lee Dong Wook's amazing performance, Doctor Prisoner, Watcher and the classic crowd favorite "did I do that" of a man with amnesia discovering he was probably a psychopath serial killer in Psychopath Diary.
There was also Confession, the US series remake Leverage and a BBC adaptation Less Than Evil, the celebrity paparazzi thriller Big Issue and the disturbingly heartbreaking Children of Nobody which kept us at the edge of the seat for 16 hours.
Oh! I forgot to mention the sequels! Eulachacha Waikiki 2, Partners for Justice 2 and Voice 3 all aired in 2019.
The shorts, once again, are not my forte, so I'll only point out one that I watched and loved: I Am Not a Robot which was awkward yet adorable, but try not to confuse it with the similarly titled I'm Not a Robot (which is a year older full-length drama and also amazing).
And now, for everyone's favorite part: the bad dramas. There was the worst adaptation of the year My Absolute Boyfriend, the one people will murder me for talking smack about but I'll still claim it's wasted potential Abyss and the original great setup but someone save me from the rest of this idiotic plot Extraordinary You. Also airing in 2019, the plot-less Level Up and the epic disappointment that was Melting Me Softly which was described as a fantasy suspense romcom but should've actually been labeled as boring. The side characters were obnoxious, but not in a fun way, the leads had no chemistry and the main suspense conspiracy plot? We abandoned it somewhere around episode 10 and.. I don't know? Nothing really happened? Finally, a special place in hell is reserved for Item, the drama which decided to solve all the suspense and conspiracy problems by not explaining any of it. Deux ex machina everything and call it a day in every single episode, like the start of a particularly trashy soap opera. How do you even film 16 episodes of this trash and not a single staff member notices something is off?
Lastly, in 2019 there's a special category I'll simply call "OH HELL NO NETFLIX" in which we explore why throwing a bunch of money to develop content (because buying licenses for great / okay dramas is expensive) is not a good idea. Love Alarm had a great premise but the execution left a lot to be desired; what would help immensely is a brain for the female lead who tried to get herself killed as often as possible. Then there was Vagabond, a drama tailor-made for the fresh-out-of-military Lee Seung Gi with amazing cinematography which was still somehow bad and then managed to have an open ending (and no second season, true Netflix style). Finally, there was Possessed which promised suspense and mystery but ended up being a cheap gore-for-shock-value flop. Lastly, who could forget Memories of Alhambra; the ultimate huge investment terrible end result kdrama which started off strong and then took a turn for the worse wasting an amazing cast and incredible CGI to turn Park Shin Hye into an irrelevant crying wallflower, Chanyeol to a sideshow attraction and Hyun Bin into a genuinely unlikable character.
(please note, this series of articles sorts dramas by the year they finished airing in, not the year they started airing in, so a December drama which also aired in January belongs to the following year)
I'm sure we didn't manage to list all 2019 dramas that deserve some love, so feel free to add the ones we skipped. Talk about the ones you enjoyed; they definitely deserve some love. Alternatively, you may share those you just don't get the love for or that haven't stood the test of time, they're all fair game today.
Maybe you haven't watched a drama from 2019 yet, either you think they are too dated (in which case I have a serious question for you), are new to watching Korean dramas, or just haven't gotten around to one yet since you've been binge watching Heirs. Hopefully our comments will inspire you to give one a go. You can also check out the rotating banner (on mobile) or the sidebar on PC (new reddit) for more inspiration. You might have noticed, but every day the sidebar images change to reflect the year we're currently discussing - we've linked to all of them below :)
To celebrate the 10 years of KDRAMA the Weekly Binge started discussions for Personal Taste, a great pure drama crack rom-com from this era. It's one of Lee Min Ho's nicer characterizations! You can try and catch up or, you know, just binge it alone if that's more your style? Just don't miss the crazy.
I'm definitely looking forward to everyone's feelings about 2019 dramas and more (or less) successful trends. Tell us what you loved and what you hated. Ask if you're interested about the mentioned dramas. We'll also join in the comments, describing our favorites, though you can probably guess what my feelings are about these dramas already. To all of you who read all the way until the end, thank you. You're amazing. Until the next time, happy watching and discussing! ^^
Previous discussions:
All of KDRAMA birthday sidebar images: here
submitted by AlohaAlex to KDRAMA [link] [comments]

2020.05.16 20:57 currycelcs Report: How a self-professed Indian "billionaire" has been reduced to reporting Muslims on Twitter.

The following two paragraphs are from this Wannabe Billionaire: Arun Pudur's Tech Fortune May Be Largely Fiction:
From a Kuala Lumpur office, 38-year-old Arun Pudur is building an international business empire, or so he says. The flagship of his Pudur Corp., he says, competes with Microsoft, Adobe, Symantec and other technology giants with copycat products that he promotes as cheaper, faster and less prone to viruses. Its biggest seller is a knockoff of Microsoft Office that he says boasts 25.6 million users, including U.S. multinationals such as General Electric, Krispy Kreme, MTV and Boeing.
After software there's mining. Pudur says he bought a gold mine in South Africa in January and that he aims to become the world's third-largest platinum producer in five years.
Five years ago, he says, he began trading liquefied natural gas in East Asia. He says he and a partner are developing a beach resort, casino and water theme park in Malawi.
He says he's invested $10.2 million in Genesis Telecom, which he describes as an underwater-cable operator that will supply 30% of all Internet service to Indonesia.
All in all, Pudur Corp. claims it operates in 20 industries and 70 countries--generating $13.4 billion in revenue last year and reaping $3.6 billion in net profits.
Bloomberg had him speak in December at its ASEAN Business Summit in Bangkok. The topic: Entrepreneurship: Turning Ideas Into Global Success Stories. Earlier, Twitter included him in an e-book it published titled "Tweets From the Top," amid a collection from Asia-Pacific leaders, including South Korea President Park Geun-hye, India Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Mahindra Group Chairman Anand Mahindra.
Pudur certainly likes to call himself a billionaire, and he agrees with Wealth-X that he's worth $4 billion. As one of Pudur's tweets, hashtagged #lifelessons, says: "People buy you, your stories, your magic, never your products or services."
Now, all this looks very promising (Not!). We have got another person who will follow in the prestigious, honest and hardworking footsteps of Ambani and Adani (/s). However, there are some vital things missing....
However, Pudur's business empire--and his billions--may be largely fiction. FORBES ASIA e-mailed 25 people on a list supplied by Pudur Corp. of customers, distributor-partners and business associates. None of those who responded corroborated the supposed scale of his operation. Nearly half used Gmail, Yahoo or other personal e-mail addresses instead of company or official addresses. Some did not turn up in online searches and were invisible on professional networks such as LinkedIn and CrunchBase.
Suspicions were first raised when our reporter visited the company headquarters in December to interview Pudur. For a business putatively so large, its profile in downtown Kuala Lumpur is notably low-key. Its offices occupy just one part of the 7th floor in a 26-story building. There are no exterior signs proclaiming its presence. Inside, when a visitor wants to use a restroom, it turns out to be a facility shared with other tenants at the end of a maze of corridors. Pudur says his operation has only 132 employees, which is remarkable given that his flagship technology unit--Celframe--spent $1.6 billion on research & development in 2014, according to its latest annual report. But he says most of that work is outsourced and that there are another 13,700 "indirect" or remote workers.
If you read the article given above, you'll discover more of this person's "karnamas". All in all, this guy is just another mega-cheat and exactly like the fraud who was in the news very recently - Mr. B. R. Shetty. (You can read about him here - Two Indians and lax compliance brought trouble to UAE banks), just another pet-dog of Modi and the PR-BJP.
Now, what's amazing is that the said person is now just another Twitter troll - the blue tick one, whose sole purpose is to remove any sort of agency and influence that an Indian Muslim in the Gulf have to their disposal.
He has now resorted to doxxing Muslims living in the gulf and reporting them to the Ministry of External Affairs, India just because they were targeting the hypocrites leeching of Arab money and then posting Islamophobic content online - dehumanising the already vulnerable Indian Muslims. (Few cases like - Indian expat sacked and faces jail for insulting Islam.)
You can read here (https://twitter.com/arunpudustatus/1261663071644168192) how the degenerate takes pride in calling names to the Muslims they've doxxed - Ola/Uber, Jihadi, etc. Supposedly their aim is to deport him back to India and make him rot in prison. Like they've done recently with UAPA.
Inshallah, I don't think they'll be able to do anything to the said person as he hasn't committed any sort of crime (per UAE law) and there are enough Muslims to help him there.
Things to note here is that:
  1. There is a systematic hierarchy being followed by these Indian "dharmic" patriots/trolls on reducing the Indian Muslim to nothing - so that no one is able to hear their point of view.
  2. Popular social media channels like Twitter, Quora and Facebook have been completely hacked on behest of the government. A lot of times, you can see a Sanghi commenting first on any sort of post related to Islam before a Muslim.
  3. They think they can go scot-free but there has been immense backlash from Muslims world-wide and this is not going well with them, therefore this supposed billionaires(lol) are being employed by the IT cell to target muslims and give impetus to the Rs. 2 per tweet troll army.
  4. If you check his tweets, the said fraud has links with Vikas Pandey (twitter.com/ModifiedVikas) who once threatened SC lawyer on twitter who was fighting Ayodhya case. You can even listen to a Tedx talk by him here (check the comments and the like-dislike ratio to know how welcomed he was there)
Forgive my grammar and spelling mistakes.
submitted by currycelcs to indianmuslims [link] [comments]

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